May 30, 2008

Mariner fans, read this

This is a blog by long-time Boston Red Sox fan and fellow EWU student, Dylan Kitzan, about Mariner fans. It definitely hits the nail on the head with Seattle fans and as a Boston fan myself, I've got to say that I really appreciate it.

However, I'd also like to point out that I neither have the family and residential ties to Boston as Dylan does, but I did have to suffer through having a Yankee fan as a roommate for a year in the dorms at EWU (He decided to be a New York fan once he got to college) and hearing him gloat about the Aaron Boone homerun in the ALCS while he skipped the World Series for the season finale of "Friends"

Anyways, since I don't think I can link to Dylan's MySpace blog, I'm going to post it in its entirety.

M’s fans...almost all of you are the same

Losing two in a row to the Mariners is rough...especially when they're among the worst in baseball. That said, though, it does have its silver linings. For instance...

I woke up this morning to the top story on the sports page of the Spokesman reading "Suddenly-streaking Mariners beat Boston" followed by a deck of "Two victories in two nights? My oh my!"

This is too easy, especially when I turn the page to see Seattle is still tied with the San Diego Padres at 20-34, the worst record in the game. I love how the Mariners and their fans get excited during these times. The only thing lower than their standards is their chance of clawing out of the AL West cellar.

Or.....I go to my English 201 class today (save the personal attacks...I know I'm 23 and a fifth-year senior) and the teacher calls on me to say my final paper thesis in front of the class. So I do (if you're interested, it's "Steroid users should be allowed into the Baseball Hall of Fame because they helped save the game, have worthy statistics and played on a relatively fair playing field.") and this girl in class gives me the offended "Ugh!" sound, looks at me, and says "How'd you like that series?" (she saw my Sox hat).

It's a shame I'm a nice guy, because I had so many scathing remarks for her that I could have made her cry. Instead, and regretfully, I bit my tongue and let her have her moment. I'm sure it cracks her Top 5 Mariner moments of the year, which I have ranked as follows:

5) Acquiring Erik Bedard, Carlos Silva and Brad Wilkerson. Save for Bedard, that offseason screams first place, huh? Kudos to anyone who knows where Wilkerson is now without looking it up.

4) The Mariners having a winning record (granted it was last on April 2nd when Seattle was 2-1).

3) Mariners winning 2 in a row at home against a Red Sox team which is 11-19 on the road.

2) During fan appreciation week, the organization put on a Fan-Team game in which she went 3-for-4 with a pair of home runs off starter Jarrod Washburn to lead the fans to an 11-5 victory. Fan starting pitcher Nick Fairfax escaped a bases-loaded jam in the fifth when he got Richie Sexson to swing and miss at yet another breaking ball....or was it a fastball....mighta been a changeup...doesn't really matter.

1) Sexson hitting .200 this late into a season for the first time in two years (when he cracked the Mendoza line at .206).

Alright, I made one of those up. I swear it wasn't number 1 though. I know you don't believe me.

Anyway, you get the idea. If you're a Mariners fan, let me save you from watching baseball and reading news outlets for the next 10 months and listen to me, because this is going to happen.

Seattle will go from June through September, win 48 of their last 108, finish with a record of 68-94 and will try to patch holes in their roster by signing Mark Hendrickson, Kip Wells and Emil Brown to lucrative, multi-year deals. Bill Bavasi, ladies and gentlemen!

Epic Video: Oh Sherry

All I can say is "Oh, Sherry, hold on."

Perhaps one of the catchiest tunes by one of the greatest bands in the world.

Tornado warnings in the Alley

Last night there were tornado warnings and sever thunderstorm warnings across what felt like the entire mid-west.

Now keep in mind, I grew up in a small town at the base of Mount Rainier in Washington. The worst weather we got was when it actually stopped raining and I got sunburned.

Here I am, in Lincoln, Nebraska, the television is reporting tornadoes in the area, the sky is black, its starting to rain. I just know the end is coming. And then I think, "Why is nobody else worried."

So I ask the guy next to me and he says, "Eh, it hasn't touched down yet. We'll worry about that later."

I mean, these people are crazy. They actually chase down these things. No joke. The movie Twister happens about everyday around here.

All I can think is that we should be hiding in a barrack somewhere. Maybe a basement at the very least. Or in a cave. With John Legend singing folk music. But to these people it was just another Thursday. Wow.

In other news, the LOST season finale was last night. And now all I can say is that I am more confused than ever. If you've ever read The Voyages of Dr. Doolittle, he comes across a moving island. Yeah, that's the direction LOST is heading. A giant floating, movable island. I am beginning to think the writers are lost.

Speaking of people being lost, a woman in Tokyo lived in a mans closet for a year without him knowing about it.

The 58-year-old homeless lady snuck into the mans house, and was living there unnoticed. Until he finally began to see that food was disappearing. So he put up security cameras. The camera caught her in there and he called the police.

The police arrested her for trespassing. She had even got a mattress in the closet. Yeah, a whole year. And according to the police spokesman, "she was neat and clean."

A man is Wellington, New Zealand has been fined by the court for throwing a hedgehog at a teenage boy. Apparently, "William Singalargh picked up the hedgehog and threw it several yards to hit a 15-year-old boy."

The hedgehog hit him in the leg and left a whelt.

Senior Sgt. Bruce Jenkins said, "While using a hedgehog as a weapon in an assault is uncommon, people often get charged with assault for throwing things at other people."

Yeah, throwing bricks, stones, sticks, toasters...but hedgehogs?!?!

At least it was better than a porcupine.

May 29, 2008

Epic Video: Rodney Stuckey

I went to college with this guy! I went to college with this guy! And my roommate still has a sweaty towel he threw into the crowd. He hasn't washed it either.

Diet Update for Brandon

For most people a diet wouldn't be the end of the world. Unless of course you're like me (22 years old and have had a steady stream of fried foods, Mountain Dew and Snicker Bars for the majority of your life). However, before I become a 300-pound diabetic, this is a necessary sacrifice.

Things have been going well with my roommate-induced diet. If anyone is interested in their own dietitian, I would recommend emailing Anna Koenig. Be prepared to pay for her extensive knowledge in healthy eating.

And keep in mind this isn't a normal diet, I'm not going Jenny Craig on anyone, I'm just turning my back on my normal diet of pizza, potato chips and Burger King Quads.

Here's a sampling of what I've been eating...

1. Eggs on English Muffins with a dash of hot sauce on it. While I've always been a fan of restaurant breakfasts with huge platters of scrambled eggs on them, a simple over-easy egg in the morning on a muffin really gives me energy in the morning when I wake up before 10 a.m. (a rarity) and go to class (also a rarity).

2. Turkey Dogs. Delicious and they won't rot my arteries into oblivion. Turkey has become my new favorite type of meat. I'm wondering if I can graduate to Turkey burgers?

3. Quesadilla. This is how bad I am at cooking. I consider making a quesadilla cooking.

4. Vegetables. God.... this is so tough.

And I've pretty much kicked out the normal selection of candy bars, jerky, chips, soda (unless its diet) and most other horrible things from my eating habits. However, in order for me to really accelerate the whole getting healthy thing I need to start exercising.

Awww crap.

I'm not sure exactly what to do but I do have some ideas.

1. Wii Fitness. I haven't bought this game yet, but I'm thing this could change my life and pretty much guarantee that I'm addicted to the Wii.

2. Cow Tipping. What else am I going to do in Cheney, Wash.?

3. Smoking Cigarettes. People lose weight when they smoke right?

4. Slide-n-Sliding. Did this at a party once when we attached two slip-n-slides together. I woke up the next day completely sore. I'm either horribly out of shape or I've found the next best thing to Richard Simmons' Sweatin' to the Oldies.

5. Ultimate Frisbee. Actually upon further reflection, I don't want to be "That Frisbee Guy."

If you have any suggestions, please comment.

May 28, 2008

Epic Photo: Bush can sure chest bump

Hail to the Chief!

That's not akward looking or anything.

The International Space Station is screwed.

God, this would suck...

Four words you don’t want to hear in space:

“The toilet is broken.”

The crew aboard the International Space Station is working on a problem with the system for collecting solid and liquid waste, which is a trickier proposition without gravity than it is on the Earth. Space toilets use jets of fan-propelled air to guide waste into the proper container.

A NASA status report noted that last week, while using the toilet system in the Russian-built service module, “the crew heard a loud noise and the fan stopped working.” The solid waste collector is functioning properly, but the system for collecting liquid waste was not.

The crew tried replacing one device, an air/water separator, and then a filter, but nothing seemed to bring the toilet back to full operation. Russian mission control told the crew — Russian Cosmonauts Sergey Volkov and Oleg Kononenko, and Garrett Reisman, a NASA astronaut, to use the toilet on the Soyuz capsule that is attached to the station as a lifeboat. But that system has very limited capacity, and so repairing the system has become an increasingly urgent issue.

As so often happens when there’s a plumbing problem, house guests are on the way: the space shuttle Discovery is scheduled to launch on Saturday, with seven astronauts aboard. The shuttle, however, has its own toilet.

How would you like to be the astronaut that broke the bad news.

"So uh, yeah, we're having problems with the toilet. Chuck had a couple of space tacos last night and clogged the hell out of the thing. Since NASA didn't equip us with a plunger we have to wait a week before the Space Shuttle can get one up here."

"What do we do know?"

"You see that Ziploc bag you just pulled that sandwich out of?"


"Save it."

I can see Ron Howard making a movie out of this staring Tom Hanks, Bill Paxton and Kevin Bacon.

Apollo 08, the Search for a Crapper.

What is it with Wal-Mart?

Here are some of the headlines that really jumped out at me today. (Yes, one of them even literally jumped)

First off is the story about the scorpion. Everyone knows scorpions are found in deserts, but what about on watermelons. In a Wal-Mart. In West Virgina. Yeah, not so much.

Megan Templeton, a 12 year-old girl was simply picking up a watermelon when a scorpion that was in the bin stung her. Apparently the scorpion had hitched a ride all the way from Mexico. Well, at least riding in watermelons is better than swimming.

Dunkin' Donuts has pulled an ad that featured Rachael Ray. Because she is wearing a black and white patterned scarf that somewhat resembles a grab worn by Arab men. Yeah, when I think terrorist I definitely think Rachael Ray.

In Tampa Bay, Florida, a nude maid is being accused of stealing $40,000 worth of jewelery. Apparently a 50-year-old man hired the maid to clean his house on Friday. She comes in, takes off her dress and works for $100 bucks an hour.

Now the catch is, that when his wife comes home from her trip she notices that a bunch of her jewelry is gone. My thing is, it seems she is more pissed about the jewelry than the fact her husband hired a nude maid to begin with. Well hey, at least the house work got done.

In more news of naked people, some thieves in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia robbed a house. But they did so in only their underwear. Apparently they thieves entered the house wearing only underwear, t-shirts over their faces and they were armed with knifes.

They took money and watches from the family after tying them up. The best thing is the quote from the police captain, "authorities don't know why the suspects were dressed that way." Yeah, I have a feeling the thieves don't either.

Epic Video: This is what America thinks of Compact Cars

If you hate Volkswagens with a passion. Watch this video...

Now if they could do that to all the PT Cruisers out there as well.

Banzuke is Unbeatable

Boy do I love myself some Japanese game shows. And if you're even inclined to watch one, then I would recommend the ultimate physical game show known as Unbeatable Banzuke on the channel G4.

Basically it pits normal contestants against obstacle courses that would make Sonic the Hedgehog blush. We're talking treadmills, crazy jumps, suspension bridges and water hazards.

Sometimes they do it on unicycles, sometime stilts, sometimes (actually most of the time) they fall flat on their face in a hilarious clip that will be replayed over and over.

It's entertainment, that's for sure. Just watch this...

How did I find such a wonderful show? Funny thing, while recovering from a hangover before the wedding of none other than Joel Willits from FishBear Sports, James from Collegiate Handyman and I spent most of the day watching this show in the Tri-Cities.

We watched something like six to ten episodes since G4 was running a marathon. We were rewarded in watching idiots like this...

And people like this...

Definitely worth an afternoon.

May 27, 2008

Epic Video: What's a gym?

In honor of Brandon getting into shape, I figured this would show everyone exactly what he thought a gym was.

He's a demon on wheels.

I saw Speed Racer this weekend, and all I can say is AMAZING. Now I know it is doing horrible at the box office, but read pretty much any review of the movie and it is good. Where as Indiana Jones is roaring. Despite the fact everybody (Brandon included) has hated it.

Speed Racer is good on three levels. The first is the acting. It is very well done and there is great chemistry among the actors. Emile Hirsch did a great job jumping from Into The Wild to this movie.

The second is the graphics. Holy cow are the colors awesome. Although I have never been on acid, many reviews say that is what it would be like. Trippy.

And third, the storyline is very well done. It's not just about some kid who drives fast. It really is a great story about corporate greed and racing.

I loved the movie, and would definitely see it again. Unlike Indiana Jones, which I hear will make you never want to see another movie again.

I also saw The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (cause I really do not have a life) this weekend. (Actually, it was 90 degrees with about 80 percent humidity. Not fun. Theaters equal free Air Conditioning)

The Narnia books are my favorite series of all time, so I set the movies to a pretty high grading system. The first movie was great and followed the book to the letter. The second one was an even better movie.

As a book, Prince Caspian was good, but would have made a horrible movie. Because half the book is the children wandering around trying to find the Prince. Lame. The movie however made new parts that fit the story very well.

The movie is a lot darker, with much better battle scenes. If it wouldn't have been for editing this film could have easily moved to an "R" rating with the fight scenes. But they were great!

In the end, both of these films were great.

Go Speed Go!

That Spring Guy

For some reason, the sun tends to drive some guys to act erratically and basically be "that guy." You'll see quite a few of them rolling around in their jeeps or convertable Jettas, soaking in the warm weather and publicly showing off their douchebaggery.

Here's a couple of examples for "that guy" in the spring so you can avoid them or avoid being them.

The Shirtless "That Guy"

It's fine if you're mildly in shape and it's at the beach but when Jumbo starts bearing it all at the local convenience store... come on. There's a reason restaurants require shirts and shoes for service, they don't want you to gross out the customers.

Value Village people, two dollars for a freakin' shirt.

The Tribal Armband Tattoo "That Guy"

Not only do you have the tribal armband tattoo, an ink job that has been done roughly 300 million times in the United States after 1986, but you insist on showing it off to anyone. Nevermind your arm width would rival that of a willow twig and the size of the tattoo would make a CareBear smirk (What's that an eighth of an inch wide?).

Even the little old ladies at the coffee shop think you're a complete wreck job. Go get a tan or something.

The Goth "That Guy"

While the shirt guy is annoying, you're just a rebel against society. You're wearing a black trench coat when it's 90 degrees out. Wow. You would think somewhere in the United States, a genius would be hoping to jump on the whole goth summer wear industry. However, no one has taken the bait and you're forced to sweat off roughly 15 pounds every time you walk to campus.

Problem is you smell like a locker room after the Stanley Cup Finals.

That Wanna Play Some Ball "That Guy"

Many students are very active in the realm of sports, but you insist on playing roughly three pickup games a day. Sometimes you're the same as the shirtless "that guy" and hope that your sheen of sweat fends off any potential defenders.

It's fun to play basketball just not at six in morning "to get some hoops in before it gets hot out, broseph."

And what happen to that job you had?

The Ultimate Frisbee "That Guy"

You can't even say "If coach would have put me in during the 2002 Ultimate Frisbee playoffs we'd be state champions right now."

Because Ultimate Frisbee isn't a sport.

Go hang out with the guys that dress up and re-enact the medieval times.

The Bike "That Guy"

It's cool that you want to get in shape, but do you really have to speed through the campus mall at roughly 80 m.p.h. clipping unsuspecting red-headed journalists? Go get a scooter or something.

The Sunburn "That Guy"

Did you miss a spot with your sunscreen. Why is their a gigantic blob of red on the back of your neck. Is that your idea of a tan? If you have skin that makes Nicole Kidman look tanned, do yourself a favor and stay out of the sun.

People can't stand watching other people get cancer.

So please steer clear of these people and have an enjoyable Summer. Otherwise you might end up on Curtis' Douchebaggery on Display blog.

May 26, 2008

Epic Video: Chiefs win Memorial Cup, promptly break it

The Spokane Chiefs are the best junior hockey team in North America! And then this happened...

I think it actually breaks before he drops it. You can see it buckle and I think it's because the cup wasn't securely put on the stand. Either way, it's hilarous. GO CHIEFS! And it sucks to be a Tri-City fan.

Epic Photo: Gaming Hell

You know that guy that keeps beating you on Call of Duty 4 or Mario Kart over the Internet.

This is that guy.

You've been warned.

May 22, 2008

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Reviewed

It sucked.

It sucked so much.

It ruined my childhood.

Thanks George Lucas and Steven Spielberg for delivering one large turd of a movie and throw the Indiana Jones tag on it.

I'll try not to reveal too much about the flick but I would recommend to everyone out there to avoid the movie like the plague if they want to keep their memories of Indy in check.

First off, I'd like to say that when I'm in my 60s, I was to look as good as Harrison Ford. The man doesn't look his age in the movie but that could be because of makeup and CGI. God knows, Lucas went crazy in every other part of the movie so what was stopping him from de-aging Ford.

It's not the age of Ford that's distracting, but the movie does jump back from either making him some sort of mythical superhero figure (the dude survives a nuclear blast BY GETTING IN A FRIDGE) or a doddering fool. One of the great things about the original trilogy was that he was kind of your everyday kind of guy. He made mistakes, but he wasn't a circus act. That can't be said for this movie where at some points he seems like the mother of the group of adventures and tells them not to do things because it's too dangerous.

That's not Indy.

And the script. Oh the scripts. I just don't get it, they had 20 years to come up with a new script for this movie and we're left with some horrible trash that the X-Files would have rejected. The movie basically revolves around the crystal skulls that are the remains of aliens. Not space aliens, inter-dimensional aliens.

The dialogue is terribly un-natural, feels stilted, forced and full of mumbo-jumbo monologues that just serve to push the story to the next scene. This is a suprise since the scriptwriter was the same guy that gave us Raiders of the Lost Ark.

"Ah you see here the translation is 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6! Press that lever right there and we can move to the next room."

I didn't think Shia LaBeouf (Who has had the success of being in every big movie for the past two and a half years) was bad in the movie as sidekick Mutt Williams. He's definitely a talented actor when it comes to his comedic ability.

So why the hell did Steven and George decided to make him a James Dean/Marlon Brando knockoff. Seriously? Shia LaBeouf? Make him a quirky, witty sidekick and not somebody that belongs in The Outsiders.

I just can't believe his character, just like I can't believe Cate Blanchett is a menacing communist villain. She is by far the worst Indy villain in all the movies and really just ends up bumbling around for the entire movie.

The action sequences are so full of CGI and suspend belief so much that they lose a lot of their power. My favorite action scene was a jungle chase involving a Soviet convoy that was very akin to the truck chase scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Indy even busted out an RPG and I thought the movie was going to turn around and be somewhat entertaining.

Until Blanchett and LaBeouf had a sword fight between two speeding vehicles.

And then LaBeouf starting swing on jungle vines like Tarzan, complete with CGI monkeys swinging with him.

While the other Indy movies weren't models of realism, at not point were you like "that could never happen" or "that's ridiculous, I can't watch this."

Not so much in this movie, I think I heard 300 people roll their eyes when our stalwart heroes went over a waterfall and survived not once, but three times!

The excited premiere crowd was brimming with excitement before the movie started, but once the ending credits started rolling, most people just stood their in stunned silence.

What a load of crap.

May 21, 2008

From old dudes on a mountain to snakes on a plane

Well I am back to this thing called Internet. Thanks to Brandon for holding down the fort here at Just South of North.

As for my trip, I flew into Montana for my sister's graduation from MSU-Billings. Stayed there for a while then caught a ride to North Dakota. While there visited the Badlands then headed on down to the Black Hills of South Dakota. I will post some pictures from the trip, but my parents are heading back to the Northwest with the camera and pictures.

While in South Dakota I went through Reptile Gardens. It is very cool. They wrestle alligators and play with snakes. There is a huge dome there that is filled with lizards, snakes, turtles and birds. It is a very neat place. Oh, and I saw a 15 foot 9 inch long crocodile, komodo dragons (only one of four places in the world with them) and the bones of the largest turtle to ever live (it was over 4,000 pounds!)

Then I traveled Mount Rushmore. I had been there when I was a little kid, but didn't really remember it. It's not a impressive as naturally made things but as a man made structure it is amazing. The movies in the museum explain how it was made, and that is fascinating.

From South Dakota I trekked back to Nebraska and hung out in the woods (well a few trees along the Platte River) for a week. Then back to lovely Lincoln.

It was a great trip and nice to just get away for a while. I hadn't gone camping in a year and really was missing it.

Oh, and a whole lot of movies have been coming out or are about to come out. Ironman, Speed Racer, Chronicles of Narnia, Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls and many more. What a great summer for movies.

And lastly, the whole time I was at Reptile Gardens I just kept thinking, "Snakes on Plane!"

May 19, 2008

Shock Game

So I get the opportunity ever other Saturday (or whenever they're in town) to shoot the hottest ticket in Spokane, the Spokane Shock. 10,000 people pack the stands to watch this af2 team usually clobber the poor saps that have to play a home game in the arena. They're undefeated so far this year after last Saturday's win over Tri-City. Here's some shots from the game.

That's Raul Vijil. The former EWU Eagle is easily the best wide receiver in the af2.

You stay classy, Spokane fans. Did you really have to make fun of his crippled younger brother?

So this ball got stuck in the goalposts off a kickoff. They couldn't get it out until after the game.

Again, you just keep rocking on Spokane fans. It's fans like these that make a-holes that cheer for the Pittsburgh Steelers look like latte-swilling patsies... which they are, with moustaches.

They're actually talking about candles.

Next on Dirty Jobs, being a Tri-City Fever receiver.

All the Shock players are actually eight feet tall.

Forget Seattle's 12th fan. We have the 9th fan!

May 15, 2008

Diet Time

So my beloved roommate, Anna, has put me on a diet, meaning that I should be losing an amazing amount of weight here pretty soon. It's a combination of salad, whole wheat and non-fried stuff that my stomach has never seen. I'll also be eating alien things like eggs and English muffing.

I've been on it two days and have already been suffering migraines and a strange feeling that my inards aren't collapsing on themselves. Usually a McDonalds burger will give me that fuzzy feeling. I'll keep everyone updated on my progress and weight. I ballooned up to 185 pounds (call it the freshman forty) through college and hopefully I can lose quite a bit of weight after this summer.

And fat people can rejoice, I wont be making any fat references during my diet.

Epic Video: Colbert owns O'Reilly

This is why someday Steven Colbert should be the next president of the United States.

"I'm motivated by the fact that you need material," -- Bill O'Reilly.

Is Bill pissed? You betcha. Did he just get owned by Steven Colbert. Definitely.

May 14, 2008

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- Just South of North: Karley Wagner

- Just South of North: Oaksridge Golf Course

- Just South of North: Riverside Golf Course

- Just South of North: Rochester High School

- Just South of North: Taylor Sundstrom

- Just South of North: Potty Landing

- Just South of North: engine

- Just South of North: portable toilets

- Just South of North: Puyallup

- Just South of North: JustSON the Numbers: Cavalier DomiNation

- Just South of North: Cleveland Cavaliers

- Just South of North: Delonte West

- Just South of North: Lebron James

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- Just South of North: Epic Video: Portland\'s bike signals

- Just South of North: Share The Road

- Just South of North: Share The Road: Bicycles

- Just South of North: It\'s Christians gone wild!

- Just South of North: Christian School Suspension

- Just South of North: Christian Schools

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- Just South of North: Rebecca Smooty

- Just South of North: Tyler Frost

- Just South of North: Solving the crack problem in America

- Just South of North: baggy jeans

- Just South of North: baggy pants

- Just South of North: baggy pants ban

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- Just South of North: George Karl may be a great NBA coach, and a Klingon

- Just South of North: Denver Nuggets

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- Just South of North: NBA

- Just South of North: Star Trek: The Next Generation

On-air blowups

When those who sit in front of the camera for a living lose their cool...

This happens.

Gawker has this hilarious video of the top ten on-camera meltdowns we've ever seen. Wait for the Bill O'Reilly one. It's pure comedic gold.

Afternoon Rundown

Here's a couple of links to keep all of you happy out there in cyberland.

If you haven't heard, television is going to hell. Ratings are down, shows suck and its probably going to get worse. If the writers strike wasn't the worse possible thing that could happen to home entertainment, than bringing back the writers had to be. I'm sorry if you come up with material for sitcoms which are 100 percent predictable and formula-based, you shouldn't be asking for a pay-raise. It's mindless.

And Reality TV Shows? I think it's society's way of dumbing down people. Luckily, people are getting sick of it. American Idol is ever losing viewership which is saying something. If you're looking for a perspective, I also wrote about how much the networks suck in the latest edition of The Easterner.

And another great article from the EWU journalism department. A look back at when Mt. St. Helens blew up 28 years ago, blanketing Washington with a wonderful layer of ash.

And if you're in to humor, head on over to Ghosts of Wayne Fontes for a column I wrote about badly conceived sports movies.

Epic Video: You'd better have fun

You said it, girls just wanna have fun.

We go from gems like this one to Ashlee Simpson and Hanna Montana. Terrible, what's society coming to?

May 11, 2008

Epic Video: An Engineer's Guide to Cats

So cats are evil, and only weird people have cats, but this video is hilarious.

Real men of genius: O.J. Simpson has just released this story that a drunk and stoned O.J. Simpson admitted to a friend that he killed his ex-wife. Oops.

He said Simpson had smoked pot, took a sleeping pill and was drinking beer when he confided at his Brentwood home weeks after his trial what happened the night of June 12, 1994. Simpson said he went to his ex-wife's condominium, but did not bring a knife with him. Simpson told him Nicole Brown Simpson had one in her hand when she opened the door.

In a soft mumble, Simpson told him: "If she hadn't opened that door with a knife in her hand ... she'd still be alive."

"Nothing more needed to be said," Gilbert writes. "O.J. had confessed to me. There's no doubt in my mind."

Problem with this new bit of info is that Mike Gilbert is pulling a Jose Conseco and releasing his own book "How I Helped O.J. Get Away With Murder: The Shocking Inside Story of Violence, Loyalty, Regret and Remorse" so the argument is out there that he's just trying to sell books. O.J.'s lawyer has come out and said that "a delusional drug addict who needs money. He's fallen on very hard times. He is in trouble with the IRS."

Because you know, when you're defending somebody with the same wonderful moral fiber as O.J. Simpson, you can say things like that. Simpson's not exactly championing his own innocence with his book "If I Did It". You can pretty much get the gist of the book by the title.

But hell, if you're going to admit to murder, you might as well do it to your druggie friend while you're also under the influence. That's the perfect time to seek confidence in another human being.

May 10, 2008

Highway driving

I got to take a trip up to my home town this weekend, which is about a 40 minute drive north of Spokane. There's something about highway driving in the remote area of Northeastern Washington that really gets you in a reflective mood.

Basically because if you break down, you're walking a looooong ways to civilization. To give you all insight into the wonders of rural highway driving I've constructed a timeline of my journey.

6:00 p.m.
I bid farewell to my trusty roommates. Weirdly enough, I hear celebrations after I step outside the door.

6:05 p.m.
Quick pit stop at a Cheney gas station. What's wonderful about my crappy college car is that people actually stare at me when I pull up to the gas pumps as if to say "you're really going to put 40 dollars worth of gas into a car that's worth 20 dollars?"

Ah, I-90, the only freeway on earth where you'll be forced to pass a tractor.

I'm in the depths of Spokane traffic, which means my speed slows down to roughly 45 mph through residential areas. While some people may ding the city for "not having anything culturally important" or "being less interesting than a reality TV show about the game of horseshoes", it's a whole hell of a lot better than the congestion on the west side of Washington. It takes nearly two hours to get to your nearest Starbucks, and those things are on every street corner.

Drop a CD off at the Spokane Arena for the Spokane Shock. The security guards there are nice. And I think they have guns. So I'm nice to them too.

And I'm officially outside of the Spokane city limits... which if you've been in north Spokane, you understand that this ends pretty abruptly. One minute you're in strip mall heaven, the next you're in the middle of a forest and Bigfoot is chasing your car.

Ah, Deer Park. Yeah never stop in this town.

The problem with a rural highway is the fact that it's only a two lane road, one lane for each direction. That means if you get stuck behind a PT Cruiser driven by a retiree who hasn't upgraded his "top speed" since the Great Depression, you're royally screwed.

What luck! A PT Cruiser in front of me.

You can't pass unless there's a long stretch of no oncoming traffic. The problem is, there's also a lot of turns on this highway.

Pass the PT Cruiser... and oh boy! A tractor pulling a large farming implement behind it that takes up rough 2/3 of the entire highway. And it's going 25 m.p.h.

I roll down the large hill that puts you into the Chewelah (or Coville, I'm not sure) valley. It's a wonderful view. You really get a good look at the Chewelah Casino as well.

After a brief stop in the Chewelah Safeway, I finally make it home. Home is eight miles outside of town, and I had to dodge a couple of small rodents on the road, and people.

The Lakers and Kobe lost to the Jazz... damn.

May 8, 2008

Into The Wild

I watched Into The Wild last night, and all I can say is WOW! Man that was a great movie. For anyone who has ever wanted to take an adventure, or for anyone who loves pushing themselves to the limits, this movie is for you. Emile Hirsch did an excellent job portraying Chris McCandless. Chris truly went on "the ultimate adventure." The best part is, the whole thing is a true story! Yeah, I highly recommend this movie.

As for my own adventures, I will be heading east into the Badlands of North Dakota. Therefore I will be without Internet for a number of days. Brandon will carry the slack at Just South of North (either that or be playing MarioKart the whole time I'm away). Either way, I'm sure he will entertain.

I will report my adventures when I return. But for now, so long.

May 7, 2008

Stuckey gets his shot

It is finally Stuckey time! Yes, the former Eastern Washinton University Eagle, Rodney Stuckey finally got significant playing time tonight for the Detroit Pistons.

Sadly, it came when All-Star guard Chauncey Billups injured his right hamstring early in the first quarter. And even sadder still, the Pistons lost. But none-the-less Stuckey played 34 minutes and put up 19 points.

Plus, former Sonic Rashard Lewis had a huge night for the Magic. Putting up 33 points.

Now comes the big task for Stuckey. Billups was the quarterback of that Piston team, and on May 10, it looks like Stuckey will need to fill that role. Let's see what the rookie from EWU can do.

I personally watched him throughout his entire college career. He made it look so easy. At times it seemed he was simply playing with opposing teams. And while he hasn't gotten a ton of playing time this NBA season I believe that Stuckey will rise to the occasion. And show the city of Detroit the gem they found hiding in Cheney.

May 6, 2008

Epic Picture of Greatness: Why the Yankees Suck

After hearing about a New York Yankee fan (and absolute wacko) run down a Red Sox fan with a car, killing them, I thought I'd like to also do my part to rekindle the rivalry.

Go to hell, Yankee fans.

Epic Video: Possibly the dumbest idea in a long time

Yeah. Somebody actually thought this "Hawaii Chair" was a good idea.

Mario Kart Wii owns my soul

After purchasing Mario Kart Wii on a whim at Blockbuster two weeks ago, my life has been whirlwind of power slides and red heat-seeking shells. It's pretty much the greatest video game ever invented by mankind. And you get a cool steering wheel that comes with the game.

Just take a gander at this beauty...

It's enough to make a grown man cry. There's just so many things that's great about Mario Kart and since this is a blog, I'm going to list all the reasons why:

Retro Tracks -- Brilliant move by Nintendo here to update some N64 tracks, further riding the tailcoats of nostalgia to greatness. They've added some visual kicks and giggles to them but they still run like the old courses. There's also "flat" tracks from the Super Nintendo and Game Boy Advance versions of Mario Kart. While they're kind of .... well... flat.... they're still a nice trip down memory lane. And they've even revived some much maligned Game Cube Mario Kart courses, a game that many Mario Kart fans refuse to acknowledge as to have ever being made.

And get this, they have courses from the Dual Screen handheld as well. That's showing some commitment to all your platforms. Wow.

Playing Online -- I didn't realize how cool this was until I raced against Terrance from Canada. And lets just say his Mii has a certain resemblance to Terrance from South Park. Oh those Canadians and their humor.

But really, setting up races is automated and a breeze, and you'll only race people with the same level of experience as you (determined by your score which initially starts out at 5,000 and goes up and down depending on how you place). This means you'll never get completely frustrated with getting beat all the time.

Unlocking Courses and Racers -- While the initial game has many options, the better you race, the more stuff you unlock. Lets just say that's been my goal for the past two weeks (well me partly, mostly James Caddy from the Collegiate Handyman) and there is now quite a stable of new vehicles, courses and racers sitting on my Wii at the moment.

It's Mario Kart on the Wii -- Seriously, does it get any better than that?

May 5, 2008

Question: What type of bear is best? Black bear.

The FOX show Prisonbreak may never have happened, had the inmate been placed in the Louisiana State Penitentiary. The reason, 10 400-pound black bears live on the prison grounds.

"None of our inmates are going to try to get out after dark and wander around when they might run into a big old bear. It's like having another guard at no cost to the taxpayer," said Warden Burl Cain.

In addition to the bears, many other types of animals call the prison grounds home. Including gators, rattlesnakes, wild pigs and of course guards.

In other news, a man in Fort Worth, Texas was arrested when he tried to cash a stolen check. The item that tipped off the clerk was the fact he was cashing the check for $360 billion dollars. Yeah, that's not common at all.

Speaking of stupid people, a woman in Manchester, N.H. was arrested when her car was found in a parking lot. With a "NO PARKING" sign and post smashed into the grill. When the police showed up, they found her sleeping in the car with marijuana on her. Police are now trying to figure out where she hit the sign. My guess, probably the parking lot.

May 4, 2008

And We are BACK

First of all, we at Just South of North would like to apologize for the lack of posts. We have been very busy with school, and somehow I have found myself in Montana. Yes, Montana of all places.

And since, despite what many people think, they do have Internet and electricity in Montana, I will do my best to keep updating the site. Thanks for hanging with us.

Boston finally decided to stop toying with the Hawks and just finished them. And they did so by DESTROYING them. Yeah, 99-65. Wow. You almost feel bad for Atlanta. Being such huge underdogs and then having all the hope in the world coming into game 7. Only to have your hopes dashed right from the go. I personally think the Celtics were giving the Hawks a chance so they weren't discovered for their own Spygate scandal.

Here is a great link about all the rundowns of spring football around the PAC-10. Perhaps the most interesting happened at UCLA, in which the starting QB went down, and then the next play so did the backup. And it doesn't look too good.

Patrick Cowan, who'd nudged ahead of Ben Olson in April, tore the ACL in his left knee during practice and is expected to miss the season. Minutes after Cowan was hurt, Olson broke a bone in his foot and will be out up to two months recovering from surgery.

When it comes to horse racing, I never really pay much attention. But the tragedy at the Kentucy Derby this year with Eight Belles is really just sad. But here is a really great photo slide show from the event. Click here.

And as far as Montana goes, there are still a ton of Grizzly fans here. But after spending 10 months surrounded by Nebraska fans, maybe they aren't so bad...awww...who am I kidding?