How to tell if you're a journalist...

 
1. Your bar tab is more than your savings account.
2. Your idea of dressing formerly is a hoodie of your favorite baseball team.
3. The idea of a long day at the office is 15 hours and a stabbing.
4. Homeless people have nicer cars than you.
5. You read the paper and skip over the funnies.
6. You haven't had a day off since you lost your phone after St. Patricks Day and was found in a dumpster three days later going "that was an epic night."
7. Your side career is being a magician.
8. Instead of turning on the radio, you turn on the Police Scanner.
9. You have an Apollo Ohno story.
10. Your diet would make Homer Simpson laugh.