Alright so now that the Mariners have brought back a certain aging outfielder to the team, they're gonna be good right? If you think 70 wins is good, which would mean that you're probably a Pittsburgh Pirates fan.The Seattle Mariners are going to have to do a few more things to get my vote and ticket-buying money.
1. Trade Ichiro Suzuki
He's in his prime, he doesn't add any power to the lineup and he plays an unimportant defensive position. I heard this from Colin Cowherd on ESPN this morning and I was like "WHAAAT?!" but after further thought, while he gets on base a lot, he really can't do anything else. He gets singles, and singles don't win ballgames. You could easily trade him for an exceptional player in a more important spot on the field and feel an immediate impact.
The Mariners also made him their highest paid player. WHY? He's not scoring any runs in no one else can hit the ball.
2. Don't let the Mariner Moose decide who's going to pitch
Okay the Mariners have Felix, who is solid. Brandon Morrow, who is promising and then we have a rotation that would make the 1962 Mets giggle. Wonderful.
(And if anyone says Rowland-Smith, you're a dumb, dumb person)
3. Have a Kingdome remembrance night
Put a large plastic lid on top of Safeco Field and slant all the seats so they are pointed away from home plate. Pump in a bunch of air conditioning, and turn down the lights. Mariner fans will love the nostalgia of watching Griffey in a enclose, dark, cold and uncomfortable building.
4. Stop paying overweight players to play baseball
Apparently the Mariners don't have to worry about steriods, just about all the missing bacon from the pregame spread.
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