March 3, 2009

Chuck E. Cheese assulted


Brandon has made it clear that there are not many things in the world that he dislikes more than sports parents. About the only thing that tops them are Griz fans. But that's for another post.

For this one, it's all about the parents.

Take the 34-year-old dad in a New Bedford, Massachusetts Chuck E. Cheese. The dad was fined $500 for assaulting the giant mouse. He thought Chuck had pinned his son against a videogame and picked him up by the arms.

Needless to say witness reports said that didn't happen and the dad was fined. But that only happened AFTER he took the mascots head off and then yelled his own off. The worst part, the family was there to celebrate their 11-year-old sons birthday.

Here's how I think the thing went down:

Chuck: "Hi kids. Who wants some pizza and free tokens?"
Kids hyped up on sugar: "We do! We do! We do! We do! We do! We do! We do! We do!"
Chuck: "Well here you go kids!" (as he throws tokens into the air. Some of which land under the pinball machine)
Son: "Aww, my tokens went under the pinball machine and I can't reach it."
Chuck: "Here, let me help you." (reaching under the machine for the tokens)
Dad: "Hey mouse! Did you steal my kids tokens?"
Chuck: "Well no sir. I was helping him get them."
Dad: "My son is the best pinball player his age. I bet you don't like that."
Chuck: "No sir. I was just helping him."
Dad: (face turning red now) "He don't need no help! Especially from a giant mouse."
Chuck: "Sorry sir." (as he goes to leave)
Dad: "Don't walk away mouse!" (Charging Chuck)
Chuck: "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" (trying to run away)
Dad: "Come here you!" (rips off Chuck's head)
19-year-old kid in Chuck body without a head: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" (still running away. now crying)
Dad: "That will teach that mouse to mess with my son. The future in pinball greatness."
Son: "Dad, thanks for ruining my birthday."
Dad: "I only want you to be the best. Someday you'll thank me."

Now I know this probably isn't how it went down. But never the less, poor poor headless mascot Chuck E. Cheese.

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