Which means we can basically forget about how much the Mariners suck and look forward to seeing Mike Holmgren do his best papa smurf impression on the sidelines. Just so you don't end up with turf toe, I've come up with an NFL survival guide for the season.
Don't mention the Pats one loss last season to a Pats fan
Although do mention that Tom Brady is wearing a booty. Not a boot, a booty.
Break up with your significant other
Unless of course she goes shopping on Sunday. Now I'm waiting for the "Brandon, you need a girlfriend" emails in five, four, three, two one...
Don't tell me that college football is better
Because it's not, it's a completely different sport. If the BCS decided who went to the Super Bowl and NFL squads could play warmup games against high school teams, then you might have an argument, otherwise just be quiet.
Root for Jim Zorn
If you're from the state of Washington, you will root for the head coach of the Redskins. I mean they stunk against the Giants but you've got to love Jim Zorn.
Ignore the Super Bowl Predictions
Because nobody on national television has a stinkin' clue. Do you think they watch sports once they get off work? No, they go to the bar and hit on high schoolers. Mark Chumura might have a second career...
Send an email to Brett Favre urging him to change his name to Cuatro.
That would be... awesome.
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