Chimp throws rocks at people, shows that animals can plan

So the human species is screwed because we've just discovered that primates can come up with plans. And if they can come up with plans, it's only a short time before they start the revolution.

STOCKHOLM (AP) — A canny chimpanzee who calmly collected a stash of rocks and then hurled them at zoo visitors in fits of rage has confirmed that apes can plan ahead just like humans, a Swedish study said Monday.

Santino the chimpanzee's anti-social behavior stunned both visitors and keepers at the Furuvik Zoo but fascinated researchers because it was so carefully prepared.

According to a report in the journal Current Biology, the 31-year-old alpha male started building his weapons cache in the morning before the zoo opened, collecting rocks and knocking out disks from concrete boulders inside his enclosure. He waited until around midday before he unleashed a "hailstorm" of rocks against visitors, the study said.

That's right, the little bastard is pulling a North Korea and building up an arsenal of rocks. Oh crap. This isn't your normal poo-flinging chimp. Since it plans ahead it has already proven to be smarter than me, the US government and it's budget deficit and the Nazis when they invaded Russia.

I'm now waiting for somebody's cat to set up a snare trap for me.