January 12, 2011

Star Trek vs. Star Trek...

With my day off I was able to watch Star Trek. Lots of it. They had a marathon on the SciFi Channel today and I also put in a few DVDs to keep the good feelings going. So excuse me for geeking out, but watching the Original Series cast and the Next Generation cast, it got me thinking: which is better?

So, since I'm in Montana right now (actual site of first contact with the Vulcans, according to Star Trek) and nothing better to do, let's compare the two series.

1. The Ship

There is nothing better than the original Enterprise and Enterprise-A from the movies. That thing has a certain awesomeness to it and looks like a spaceship should. The Enterprise-D? Looks like a Ford Taurus.

2. The Captians

I'm sorry, but William Shatner is mildly insane. Go and listen to the director's commentary for Star Trek 5. Unless he had five vodka and red bulls before doing that commentary, he's a lunatic. Now Captain Kirk is obviously a little more mentally capable but here's the thing... Kirk is Zap Brannagan from Futurama, almost down to a T. While there is something very charismatic about him, he's more of a gunfighter than a captian.

Captian Picard? That's the kind of guy that you want to go to war with. He's going to explore every option and go the diplomatic and smart way around things. Kirk? He'll just set the Enterprise to "self-destruct."

3. Engineers
Really, Scotty or Geordi LaForge? On shore leave, Scotty gets drunk and comes back with a hangover. LaForge wins a chess tournament. Yup.

4. Enemies

With the exception of this guy...

Khan isn't just a great Trek villian, but a great movie villain in general. He's that really spooky crazy-smart-evil combination that you don't mess with. However, other than that, the villains in the original series are kind of lame. The Klingons are better as allies than enemies, because they're honorable and frankly kind of badass. Romulans are just plan douchey. The other enemies were just whatever "Lost in Space" castoff monster they could find at the time.

The Next Generation? They had these guys...

Wait so they're basically unbeatable and instead of killing us we get assimilated? Yeah creepy as hell. Say hello to the Borg.

5. Women

Okay, the Original Series has this one nailed down. Way cooler than Deanna Troy.

Alright, so now that it's been all laid out for you, what do you think?

1 comment:

  1. Pretty dead on. I always thought that the original Star Trek was a universe where hippies won and lcd+ mary-jane was a part of their staple diet.

    PS you forgot one thing that nukes the 2-2 win ratio, holo-decks. And the fact that those green babes where mind controlling dominatrix's that turn us guy's into slaves(more often then not, the bad kind of slave to be).

    I always thought they where a good metaphor for feminism, but I digress.

    One last thing though.. If you had to go through a war zone which would you rather drive, a Porsche with some safety features(how often are the Enterprise A's shields totally worthless?), or a Ford Taurus with bullet proof glass and paneling + some EMP resitence? I think there comes a point when you have to chuck form in favor of function.