Why Felix stayed in Seattle...

Now that the Mariners have locked-up ace Felix Hernandez for probably the remainder of his awesome career (or at least the useful years of his career), Seattle fans can celebrate. Usually the big-name player in the Emerald City leaves and goes to a bigger market, but for some reason Felix decided to stay. Here's why the fireballer decided to remain in Seattle...

1. They're going to call it the "Felix Needle" - Remember the most recognizable landmark on the Seattle skyline? Yeah Felix owns that now, and he's calling it the Felix Needle. Justin Verlander doesn't have that now does he? Also what building in Detroit would you want your name on anyways?

2. Eventually, the Mariners said, Washington will invade Canada and Felix will be deposited as a real king - Since the Canadians have like 10 people in their army, the Washington National Guard could probably mop up pretty easily. At that point, the neighbors to our north will need some kind of royalty to follow and what about... King Felix?

3. Felix gets a free copy of Windows 9 - It hasn't even been designed yet, but he's got it. Thank you Microsoft!

4. The Mariners are changing their logo - And it's just going to be a mugshot of Felix.

5. Boston and New York called, by the Mariners picked up and said Felix wasn't home.

6. The Mariners threw in Sounders season tickets - And since Felix has never seen the postseason, he'll get to experience it for the first time... at Century Link Field.

7.  The Band KISS will now play - LIVE AT SAFECO FIELD - everytime Felix jogs out to the mound - Because after all, they're not doing anything else are they?

8. Felix also gets a lifetime supply of those large chicken drumsticks they hand out in the Kings' Court - The Mariners are praying he doesn't show up to Spring Training overweight.

9. There is a Promise that Felix will be traded to the Sonics once the NBA returns to Seattle - Have you seen this guy's jump shot?

10. Mariners told Felix that New York has just changed their uniforms to say "Seattle" on them and Yankee Stadium looks exactly like Safeco Field - They're hoping he doesn't notice when they actually play the New York Yankees.

(To buy a Felix jersey, go here.)

Mariners get shut out by Greinke again

Mariners fans... did you really expect Felix to win the Cy Young Award? The AL announced their awards today and Zach Greinke of the Kansas City Royals has been named the best pitcher in the league despite (GASP!) just 16 wins.

However if you look at his ERA (2.16) you can see why the choice was made. I'd also imagine that his wins and ERA might be better if he had a better team behind him. While the Royals are Casey's team, that doesn't mean they're good or even competitive. In fact they were so bad I think Casey is thinking about reporting to Spring Training.

However when Greinke was pitching, it was an event and you knew that the other team was going to struggle with him. Just going by the eyeball test, I can see why Greinke was picked over Felix. He's damn good, but Greinke was phenomenal this season.

The Red Sox could have gotten King Felix

Rumor of this mega-deal hit the Boston.com blog of the Boston Red Sox and even though it fell through, this would have been simply stunning.
King Felix (occasionally eats Yankee fan's babies for breakfast)

ERA 2.78
Record 12-4

FOR...

RHP Clay Buchholz
RHP Daniel Bard
RHP Justin Masterson
LHP Nick Hagadone
RHP Michael Bowden
LHP Felix Doubront
OF Josh Reddick
SS Yamaico Navarro

In case you haven't noticed, that's a crapload of prospects. And you know what? It would have been worth it. Boston would have increased their chances of winning the World Series by a high percentile. Can you imagine facing Beckett, Lester and Felix in a playoff series? Wow.

And when that deal fell through, Theo tried to get the Padres involved and have a three-way (That sounds dirty on purpose) but that didn't materialize either.

Look at that list on prospects (We've been praising Daniel Bard here on JustSON)... this might have hamstrung the Sox future at the closer position since Bard looks like the heir apparent after Papelbon gets run out of town. However, that killer rotation is too much to pass up on, holy cow.

I'm actually really surprised the Mariners didn't bite on this, perhaps they believe (1) they have a future with Felix on the team or (2) they weren't wowed by Buchholz, Bard and Masterson... unlike everyone else in the league.

Dammit Seattle, that would have made me your biggest fan.

JustSON the Numbers: Felix Hernandez

Living in the Seattle area and being a sports fan over the past few years has been pretty rough. With the exception of the Seahawks making it to Super Bowl 40, the local sports faithful hasn't had much to cheer about lately. That rings especially true with the Seattle Mariners, where you pretty much only have had Ichiro Suzuki and Felix Hernandez to root for.

Well I have some bad news for Felix Hernandez fans because King Felix has now entered.....the twilight zone. For some reason Hernandez has traditionally struggled during the month of May. In one start this month his ERA (earned run average) has already risen one full run this year to 3.38 after he gave up 6 earned runs in 6 innings to the Texas Rangers on Monday, saddling him with his first loss of the season.

In comparison the combined months of March & April (sometimes MLB will squeeze in one or two games in March) have produced a career 9-5 record and 2.80 ERA for Felix. The month of May however has been far less forgiving yielding a 5-10 record with a whopping 6.55 ERA. The rest of the year Felix is very good with a career 29-22 record and a 3.62 ERA.

I can't figure out why May is such a bad month for Hernandez. My only guesses are that he either hates flowers or he killed May's twin brother Yam and May uses the month to exact some sort of revenge?

All I can say is if you have Hernandez on your fantasy baseball team you may want to keep him on the bench....at least until June.

Good God! Is that Felix Hernandez's music?

Felix Hernandez and I are the same age. The only difference between us is he can pitch seven scoreless innings and allow only four hits whereas I can finish a Meat Lover's Skillet at Sherry's in about three minutes.

We're now 16 games in of the "The Improbable Dream" and the Mariners keep winning games. Coming off a drubbing to the Tampa Bay Rays last night - Hernandez manned up today, scratch that, he put the Mariners on his jock and carried them to victory.

Seattle committed three errors, THREE, and a team that in renowned for manufacturing runs out of nothing could not cross home plate.

Brandon Morrow, despite looking like he was losing control of his bowel functions out on the mound, picked up his fifth save of the season. If I were a Mariners fan, I can't decide if I would be terrified to death that Morrow had the ball in tight situations or confident. You just don't know what you'll get with him.

By the way, keep winning M's, by all means beat every team in the AL East you can except for the Red Sox.