Ties are dumb

Today I have to travel to Brandon's favorite city outside of Missoula, Montana for a wedding. I am of course talking about the City of Three. Or, the Tri-Cities.

And I even have to wear a tie!

Ties are lame. I don't know what moron thought they were a good idea.

Tie Inventor: "Hey! You know what we should make guys wear?"
Wife: "What's that honey?"
Tie Guy: "I think guys should wear a device around their neck. Like a rope around their neck!"
Wife: "Oh honey! You'll look so sexy!"

Which leads me to my next point about ties, guys don't like them. But girls do. So if girls like them so much make them wear it!

I've been practicing my knot tying lately. So I think I will show up to the wedding with my tie around my neck in like a square knot, or better yet a bowline! Oh wait, how about a noose? Too soon. Yeah, probably.

But I do really not like ties. They are evil creatures.

So then I say to myself, you know what would make wearing a tie less stinky! A cool design on the tie! Like a polar bear driving a car! Or better yet a squirrel juggling acorns!!!

Needless to say my date (a.k.a. my fiance) said no.

Anyway, it is Saturday. And Saturday's are fun. Minus having to wear a tie.

Off to Tri-Cities for the Shock game

I'm super pumped to be headed down to the Tri-Cities for the Shock game today. Not only will I be able to watch an arena football game be played in Costco (a.k.a. the Toyota Center) but I'll also be getting you all some game photos.

Here's the game advance from Spokane Shock Director of Communications Kevin Maloney

And somebody please pray that my car doesn't explode on the way down to Kennewick.

Bashing other football teams in the area

Boy am I glad I live in Spokane where I live near the cheapest source of burgers on the planet (Dicks Burgers), an endless comical supply of people (Spokies) and a rather odd combination of sports teams. We've got everything covered except for women's lacrosse and professional lawn darts.

And our teams are well run. Look at the attendance numbers. Look at the championships. We're spoiled here in Spokane. Which is more than we can say for our neighbors...

The Tri-City Fever are already selling on the season. At 0-6, the team is in the midst of a 13-game losing streak. And they've just traded away their best receiver Phil Goodman, who allegedly had gained some unwanted weight.

And in return, they got journeyman quarterback. And apparently they think that's going to turn things around. Excuse me as I go ask the Pittsburgh Pirates PR department how they twist these things around situations like these to their favor.

"Yeah we just traded our best player, but wait until you see our sparkly alternative jerseys we'll be showing off next week!"

Listen, when a team mentions "Journeyman" and "turn-around" in the same breath, chances are they're blowing smoke up your you-know-what. A journeyman af2 quarterback must be in hotel rooms more often than a call-up stripper. You have fun with that Tri-Cities

And a little Big Sky football news, two Idaho State football players were kicked off the team for shoplifting.

Hmmm, usually it takes something like murder for a University of Montana player to get kicked off the team.

Perhaps the Bengals are taking the higher ground... which is funny because I remember in high school our quarterback shoplifting with his JERSEY on at a store and then immediately getting caught. I guess cameras have a way of picking up YOUR LAST NAME and WHAT HIGH SCHOOL YOU WENT TO. If high schools are giving players a pass for shoplifting

Anyways, he started our playoff game that year. Which we were blown out in. Good times.

High School Sports Feature: Hanford High Knowledge Bowl Champs

I'm not one to give the Tri-Cities area props for their obvious hockey loyalties, but Hanford High School just pulled off an incredible academic upset.

This year they won the regional National Science Bowl title, defeating Pullman High School - a team that had won the previous four years.

The regional National Science Bowl, despite it's long and confusing name, had 41 teams compete from Washington and Oregon schools. Now the Tri-Cities (Which strangely claims to have invented the CD in the 90s, even though they were invented in the 80s) has something to hang their hat on academically.

Because we all know they can't beat any Spokane schools at football.