Movies I really regret watching...

So one of my friends said we should watch this because he basically broke up with his ex because she liked this movie and he though it was the most f-ed up thing he'd ever seen. After watching the movie. I agree. Lets just say burning bodies aren't exactly my idea of enjoyment.


Okay, Rocky 5 and 6 NEVER HAPPENED. Can Nike seize the film canisters and hide them somewhere.


Remember when Eddie Murphy was making Beverly Hills Cop and was like the most popular human being on earth. What exactly happened?


(Sigh) This was a mistake.


Vin Diesel actually doesn't do any acting in this movie. He just stares at the camera for an hour and a half flexing, which doesn't quite work with his double chin.

I actually just typed in "Air Bud 4" and this came up. That's right, four movies have been made involving a golden retriever that plays sports. Ladies and Gentlemen, America!

JustSON at the Movies: Fast and Furious

I'll admit it, I'm a Vin Diesel fan - I've never watched a movie of his without thoroughly being entertaining.

That being said, he's not exactly what you would call Oscar-worthy, but he gets the job done in comedies... errr... action movies.

And his latest opus, Fast and Furious, he delivers once again by blatantly flexing for the camera, always finding form-fitting clothing even when he's in prison.

And Paul Walker... wow... if there were ever a lifetime achievement Oscar for a B-movie action star, this man would get the award named after him. With him and Diesel, the sky is the limit.

Now a couple of things I thought were odd about the plot:

(1) I'm not sure how profitable hijacking fuel semi trucks in the Dominican Republic is, but if it were as profitable as it was in the movie, I think we'd see a lot more people jumping on the Shell trucks on I-90.

(2) If a drug cartel were recruiting drivers, don't you think they'd be a little more discreet than having a street race through LA, in live traffic? ESPN's Bill Simmons brought this up and I can't get over this sticking point.

(3) Why are FBI agents so freakin' dumb?

(4) I'm thinking that there's got to be a lot easier and safer way to cross the US-Mexico border than using a tunnel and driving at 80 MPH plus. I mean, couldn't they go at a leisurely 20 MPH because they're underground and nobody is going to catch them?

I give it a 4/10, but that's with my brain turned on, with my brain turned off, it's a 10/10. The count: two stereotypical yet hilarious Dominican Republic stoners/car pushers, 1,298 times that Vin Diesel winked at the camera, 0 times Paul Walker was actually acting in this movie, 2-3 times Paul Walker's car blows up in this movie, 1 time a cigarette lighter in a 30-year old car works which is 1 more time than any other cigarette lighter in a car over 30 years old has ever worked, 1 basement russian/hispanic (couldn't tell with the accent) seducation scene and don't forget the obligitory gritty and sullen "I've got no choice" line from Vin Diesel.