Epic Photo: Winnie the Pooh gets rid of swine flu

Things that you should do to avoid swine flu

1. Go to places where there isn't a lot of people, like home and the new Yankee Stadium.

2. Avoid kids. They're the little germ-spreading minions of the world. In fact never have kids either. Become a monk instead.

3. Stock up on batteries. You never know when your anti-swine flu flashlight will come in handy.

4. Avoid sick people like their the next coming of Fran Drescher.

5. Bring up the fact that you're underpaid at work, and then threaten to cough on your boss.

6. Avoid Derek Jeter, he had the swine flu.

7. Paint your doorway with sheep's blood, that way the swine flu knows to pass over.

8. Start randomly breathing and talking like Darth Vader.

9. Google "How I can avoid the swine flu" and "How I can avoid media hype."

10. Move to Canada, apparently their swine flu is much milder and actually likes to throw back a couple drinks with you before infection.

High School Sports Feature: Swine Flu

Typically we focus on High School Sports in the state of Washington but today I decided to make an exception. With the swine flu sweeping across the United States many schools in Texas and Alabama have decided to postpone all athletic events until further notice.

In Texas alone over 53,000 kids are out of school because of the virus and many schools have been closed completely to be sanitized. There are 16 confirmed cases of swine flu so far in Texas and the states Governor, Rick Perry announced a disaster declaration for the entire state.

The sports most affected are baseball, softball and track. The Texas Regional Track Championships have also been affected. They were to begin on Friday. Many athletic events in Texas have been postponed until at least May 11th. Also, in Huntsville, AL sports activities have also been postponed, school officials are hoping to resume activities by next Tuesday after a few likely cases of swine flu were discovered.

Since the swine flu is easily transmitted through contact and appears to most dangerously harm young healthy adults, many schools have decided to take the cautious approach and not take any unnecessary risks that could promote the spread of this virus.