Giant burger doesn't need a warning label

Ask anyone who knows me and they will be able to tell you that my all-time favorite food is a hamburger.

Onetime at 9 AM at IHOP I ordered a hamburger. That's how much I love them. I saw I could have a burger for breakfast (despite being in the International House Of Pancakes) I knew I had to have a burger.

Oh how I love them.

Well, the West Michigan Whitecaps have come up with my type of burger. The Whitecaps are an single-A affiliate of the Detroit Tigers. And this burger is epic.

Here's what it is:

A 4-pound, $20 burger features five beef patties, five slices of cheese, nearly a cup of chili and liberal doses of salsa and corn chips — all on an 8-inch bun.

Oh man, the next Northern Rangers video has got to be me traveling to Michigan to eat that burger. (Yes, that is the real picture of it)

But the main problem with the burger isn't simply that it offers 4,800-calories, it's the health nuts that want a warning label slapped on it.

The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine sent a letter to the club saying that the club should put a warning label on the burger stating that eating it would increase the chances of cancer and heart disease.

No frikin' way! I never knew that eating a burger that contained FIVE patties, FIVE cheese slices, salsa, chili and corn chips was bad for me.

How dumb do they think people are? If I'm paying $20 for a burger, I want to eat it. I don't want to first read about how bad it is for me. That's part of the fun.

(Sung to the tune of Take me out to the ballgame)

Take me out to the ballgame....

Take me out with the crowd....

Buy me a giant hamburger....

I don't care if I have a heart attack.....

For it's squirt, squirt, squirt of the ketchup....

If I don't eat all of this burger it's a shame....

For it's 1, 2, 3 bites of goodness....

At the ol' ball game!