Things I missed this weekend that I probably shouldn't have

Luke Walton wins NBA Championship, quiets his critics - And now he's going to have to prove to all the naysayers his true legacy by winning without Adam Morrison on the roster.

Shock: BOOM! Goes the dynamite - They win in a squeaker, 88-27 against Stockton last Saturday on the road. I'm sure fans stayed until the very end for that one.

Michael Phelps becomes an author of a kid's book - And in other news, I'm writing a relationship book on how to enjoy a long, stable marriage.

Pittsburgh Pens win the Stanley Cup - And the four hockey fans still left in America rejoice. By the way, it wasn't like Detroit needed to win this series for a sense of civic pride or anything.

Sounders end winless streak, defeat San Jose 2-1 at home - For some reason soccer seems to think that tie games are cool. And in other news, Donovan McNabb is still unaware that soccer is a sport.

National Drag Racing returns to Spokane for the first time in 30 years - The Spokesman-Review praises the spectator turnout of over 10,000, and then promptly runs a photo on their website of empty stands at the racetrack.