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Why Farmville is an abomination of the human race...

See this photo to your right? No it is not a screen shot from a 1994 video game for the Super Nintendo. This is a game on Facebook called "Farmville" and is one of the most annoying creations by humankind.

By playing this game, not only are you wasting your life with some crap-tastic 2-D junker game that belongs in the bargin bin at Walmart, but you also fill your friends' NewsFeed up with stupid crap like "Jerry found a new spring chicken egg!" and "Jerry wants you to help him get little Timmy out of the well."

I don't care if you waste you life with the dog-pile of a game, but please, don't drag me along with you...

Facebook groups you wouldn't want to be a member of...

"Tiger Woods is a great family man and I respect that!"

"North Idaho people who shave their heads and respect Germany's heritage between 1939-1945"

" I set up peephole cameras for Erin Andrews"

"I don't support the troops"

"Democracy is actually a very terrible idea. What would should really look into is Despotism"

"I have less than five Facebook friends"

"Seriously, add me as a Facebook friend right now"

"Rosanne Barr is a hotty"

"If you Google my name, my criminal record comes up"

This is what it's like living with a cat lady

Just a warning to my buddy Casey, who has cats now...

Found this on Facebook Fail.

Lady gets thrown in jail for poking someone on Facebook

Really? Our society has come to this? Casey better stop poking me on Facebook otherwise I'm going to throw him in the pen.

...a Tennessee woman was arrested last month for "poking" another user on Facebook.

According to an affidavit filed with the Sumner County General Sessions Court on Sept. 25, Shannon D. Jackson of Hendersonville, Tenn., allegedly violated a legal order of protection that had been previously filed against her when she sent a virtual "poke" to another woman on Facebook. 

Now what happens if you add someone as a friend that doesn't want to be your friend? Do you lose your hands? Lethal injection?

The world almost ended this morning

What evil entity would do such a thing? Somebody tried to bring down Twitter, which cause Facebook to freeze up and in the end... cause the destruction of the world as we know it.

(CNN) -- An attack on the social networking site Twitter shut the site down for about two hours on Thursday morning, causing headaches in the online community and glitches in other Web sites like Facebook.

In an e-mail to CNN.com, Twitter co-founder Biz Stone said the site was hit with a "denial of service attack," or an attempt to shut the site down by overwhelming it with traffic.

"There's no indication that this attack is related to any previous activities. We are currently the target of a denial of service attack," Stone said in the e-mail.

"Attacks such as this are malicious efforts orchestrated to disrupt and make unavailable services such as online banks, credit card payment gateways, and in this case, Twitter for intended customers or users. We are defending against this attack now and will continue to update our status blog as we defend and later investigate."

Twitter's site went down around 9:30 a.m. ET on Thursday. A message posted on Twitter's status blog said the site was active again by 11:30 a.m., but that the site remained under attack.

"We are continuing to defend against and recover from this attack," the message says.

Users of other social networking sites were also experiencing trouble on Thursday morning. Facebook users reported pieces of the site were down and there was speculation those problems were related to the Twitter attack.

Meanwhile MySpace is still working! So if you want to get 85 friend request from spambot cam girls, be my guest! The rest of us will be in a bomb shelter waiting for the social networking Apocalypse to pass.

Major League Facebook Updates

Bud Selig - don't forget everyone, the Triple-A Baseball game means something, as it will determine home field advantage throughout the NBA playoffs.

Sammy Sosa - wants you to go join his Facebook Group "Put Sammy in the Hall!" He is patiently waiting...

Pete Rose joined "Put Sammy in the Hall" Facebook Group

Pete Rose commented on the "Put Sammy in the Hall" Facebook Group "Hey don't forget me too! Now buy my book!"

Russell Branyan - struck out again.

CC Sabathia - loves his big macs in the morning! MMM-mmm!

The Chicago Cubs - are asking for donations, because our owner is apparently worth 1.5 million dollars and he bought the team for nearly a billion. Idiot.

The National League joined the "The DH sucks" Facebook Group

The American League commented on the National League's wall "Dude... really?"

Joe Torre and Manny Ramirez are now listed as "in a relationship."

A-Rod poked Derek Jeter.

Derek Jeter commented on A-Rod's wall "Dude, piss off."

Apparently Facebook thinks I like skanky Christians

Imagine you're on Facebook. Now take a look to the right of this post. Is there something wrong with that ad?

I'm going to venture a guess that Facebook is feeling the pinch of the economy and is now filling lost ad revenue with advertising from busty Christians with apparently more than God on the mind.

Now I wonder if I put my religion to Muslim if I would find equally flirty females... only this time with their faces covered. Ah the Internet, being offensive since some guy figured out how to put chicken porn online.

JustSON fan page

In our on going efforts to slowly take over the Internet, Just South of North now has a fan page on facebook.

Check it out here:

Just South of North Facebook

Become a fan! Let us know what you think!

Six crimes solved by Facebook

This makes sense actually, and if your parents give you any grief for spending time on Facebook (Unless they're already on Facebook), tell them that you're just fighting crime.

Six crimes solved by Facebook

This trend certainly isn't new, and as people catch on, criminals are getting busted -- caught because they just couldn't escape the allure of bragging about their criminal achievements on the newsfeed or posting easily identifiable pictures of themselves in online photo albums.

Hmmm, guess I should have posted those photos of me stealing the Seattle Mariners' bullpen... ZING!

Facebook groups you just shouldn't join...

Oh god, along with the 2,368,244 application requests that you've gotten from one person on Facebook, now you also have to go through all the "Group Requests". Oh brother, here we go again.

Here's the Facebook groups that you SHOULDN'T JOIN...

"We like to look up Japanese Anime porn Group"

"The Ryan Leaf Fan Club"

"Only Hardcore Dungeon and Dragon players can join this group"

"The 'Girls recoil in fear when they see me naked group'"

"The Tim Meadows fan club"

"The Hale Bopp Cult group"

"Join this group if you peed the bed in college at least once"

"The Popped Polo Colar Posse"

"Mario 2 was the best game ever!"

"Hey we're that abstinence until marriage group that has roughly 50 people in the group with STDs, woo hoo!"

"I'm checking Facebook from a cardboard box"

"You know, Kathy Bates is kind of hot"

"We like Arial Fonts"

"That Hitler was a real swell guy"

"Detroit Lions fan group"

... and don't forget, never join any groups that you were invited to by your parents on Facebook, that creepy guy that is stalking you on Facebook or that guy that keeps sending you pieces of flair of Facebook.

Guys you don't want to add as a friend on Facebook

There are some people out there that you just don't want them seeing your Facebook profile. And since the site went public where you don't need a college or high school email to join, the amount of creepy adults getting onto the site has increased ten-fold.

Luckily, we're creepy here at Just South of North so we know what to look for when it comes to guys you shouldn't add to your friends list on Facebook.

Dad - Because those shots of you doing Patrone shots between two topless women just isn't going to fly.

Oh who am I kidding, Casey and I did not have that wild of a college life, make that taking shots of Mike's Hard Lemonade between two guys dressed like Zelda.

Anyone that looks like a serial killer - Look at the photo above. Burn that into you mind. Now don't add anyone that looks like this.

50-year old single guys that keep inviting you to their "parties" - If you're female and he's the only one you're inviting, yeah that's a problem.

That kid from high school that ate his own dandruff - Chances are he still eats it, and actually puts up photos of this on Facebook.

Guys that list hobbies as "Making human skin lampshades" and "tucking my privates and pretending to be a woman" - This should raise a red flag.

That super liberal person in class - Because you're going to get a half-million application invites to "Save the Cockroaches" and they'll update their status roughly every 14 seconds.

Casey and Brandon - Because Casey likes to leave random messages about squirrels on everyone's wall, and I will always tag embarrassing photos of you on Facebook.

Best Facebook status

Yesterday I wrote about how the Philadelphia Eagles fired a worker because of his Facebook status. Well, that got me thinking, what are some of the best Facebook statuses ever?

And since Brandon and I seem to like the Top 10 lists lately, here's the Top 10 Facebook status list (the status is of Hank):

10. Hank is on Facebook instead of doing work. Hope his boss doesn't come by.

9. Hank wrote on your wall. Now you need to repaint your wall.

8. Hank is Batman.

7. Hank feels stupid when he writes the word banana. Its like, how many na’s are on this thing? ‘Cause I’m like ‘Bana … keep going. Bananana … dang.

6. Hank logged in and saw you logged in. Then I logged off and logged in 2 hours again - you were still logged in. Get A Life!

5. Hank used to play sports. Then he realized you can buy trophies. Now he’s good at everything.

4. Hank is staring at his facebook waiting for messages to arrive.

3. Hank was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that’s when he realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.

2. Hank likes fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. If someone just mailed you an apple you’d be like ‘Huh? What the heck is this?’, but if it’s in a fruit basket you’re like ‘This is nice!'

1. Hank saw a guy at a party wearing a leather jacket and he thought, ‘That is cool.’ But then he saw another guy wearing a leather vest and he thought, ‘That is not cool’. Then he figured it out: ‘Cool’ is all about leather sleeves.

Brief Casey: Stealing a Facebook status

I've heard of nicotine addictions, heroine addictions, heck even video game addictions. But Facebook addictions? Now that is something.

It appears that this is what our society has come to. A 19-year-old man in Bradenton, Florida actually stole a laptop from a man in Starbucks when the customer refused to let him check his facebook. The 19-year-old grabbed the laptop and ran out of the mall. He was later tackled in the parking lot by two people and held down until security arrived.

Here's how I believe the events traspired:
(For the sake of the article I will call the 19-year-old "Kid" and the customer "Hank")

Kid: "Hey man. My iPhone died. I can't update my Facebook status. Can I use your laptop?"
Hank: "Sorry son. I'm in the middle of a very important video conference."
Kid: "Wow that sucks. Now all of my friends that I have on Facebook won't know what I am doing at this very moment."
Hank: "What did your last status say?"
Kid: "Kid is Drinking coffee in a Starbucks in the mall."
Hank: "How is that different than what you are doing right now?"
Kid: (rolling eyes) "I finished my coffee. Can't you see that this is tea? Sheesh."
Hank: "That's pratcially the same thing. Besides, who really cares that you're in a Starbucks drinking coffee?"
Kid: "All my sweet social networking friends. Wow you are lame."
Hank: "I'm glad I didn't let you borrow my laptop for that."
Kid: "Please sir. Now I need to change my status to, Kid is Drinking tea in a Starbucks while talking to a really lame old guy."
Hank: "Anyway, thanks for the chat. Now please go."
Kid: (Staring at Hank. Then at the laptop. Then at Hank. Then the laptop.)
Hank: "Fine. Change your status then get out of here."
Kid: "Thanks." (Starts typing away)
Hank: "What are you changing it to now?"
Kid: "Kid is Stealing some guys laptop from a Starbucks."

And with that he runs out the door.

Now I know that might not be exactly how everything went down. But that's the word around Facebook anyway. I've got to go change my status to, "Casey just wrote a blog."

So that way all my friends can know exactly what I'm up to at this moment.

Facebook application invites need to go

The Internet has had its share of "those people" in its short history. First it was the people that would send multiple forwarded chain letters a day (if you don't send this email you will have bad luck for 10 years... and a life), then it was the person that used lol and rotfl every other statement during an IM session, MySpace brought upon the advent of the idiots that like to put glittery, sparkly things on their layouts that give most web surfers seizures and now there's the Facebook application people.

Kudos to Facebook for creating a streamlined social networking site. You don't have to deal with many 80 year old stalkers who like human skin lampshades, you don't have forty cam-girl friend requests when you log in and people can't upload annoying profile songs that just end up tipping your professor off to the fact that you're on the Internet during class.

However, they have to do something about people with applications.

It's nice that you can customize your profile, but some Internet junkies have taken it to a whole new level. They've warped past the minions of live journal nerds and pulled a commanding lead in front of those people that comment on their own uploaded photos on MySpace. They've made it their mission to send you every application invite possible.

It sure is a cold day in hell when I log into Facebook and see that I have 2 "Jedi Knight invites, come fight the dark side" and one "This is the application where you choose which one of your Facebook friends you want to sleep with, but they'll never find out about it!"

Thanks guys and gals, it's not like our society was pathetic enough with "Dances with the Stars: 80 year old stalker edition" and "A healthy McDonald's menu for our customers that can't fit in our booths."

We've got to go and rank out friends body types online... but they won't find out because it's TOTALLY confidential. But we will have a ranking list of the top ten.

The only people that get any sort of satisfaction are the ones that spend three hours with a digital camera trying to get that perfect upward angle photo for their profile so that it hides their neck fat.

And what's worse is along with the four "Hello Kitty Fan Club" application invites I get, there's also the occasional douche bag that loves sending a private message through Facebook that says...

"Can you really add this Lord of the Rings Knighthood application. You can delete it right away, but if you download it then I move up in the rankings and I really was to make the "serf" level in a couple of weeks, that means I'll be able to post forum topics on our Lord of the Rings Knighthood application Facebook group board."

It's not going to be an asteroid that destroys this world, it's going to be some moron that invents a Facebook application that sucks whatever remaining brain matter we have left in our heads towards answering "Friends" trivia questions.

You might be seeing an invite from me in the next coming weeks, keep your eyes out for "Please delete your profile from Facebook and spare all of us the pain of having known you" application.

Enjoy!