How to tell if you went to a great wedding

After getting home this morning after an all-nighter road trip back to Spokane from Portland (Thank you Dylan Kitzan for driving the entire way), I have to say the wedding was a blast. Usually these sort of things are hit and miss depending on (1) how many people you kn0w (2) the format of the wedding such as length and if beer is served :D and (3) other variables like weather, who you run into... ect. ect.

Well this was a great wedding, I'm glad my buddy Darren finally tied the knot and here's some ways you can tell if the wedding you just went to was great too.

(1) The bride mentions the groom's fantasy baseball team and the San Francisco Giants during the vows.

(2) Yours truly gets two swigs from the groom's flask just before the ceremony.

(3) You and your friend come up with this brilliant story about how your brothers that own a maple syrup company in New Hampshire and are completely loaded. YOU LOCK IT UP!

(4) Open bar... meaning that you absolutely tear through their stock of Blue Boar.

(5) You wear sunglasses indoors, just because you can and other people are doing it.

(6) Piano Man and Spin your head right round get placed at the reception dance. That's always a big plus and might I add that JustSON will be uploading photos of proper dancing technique in the near future.

(7) The gift from the bride and groom is a matchbox. So we have alcohol, matchboxes and a turn of the century building where the wedding is taking place. If something crazy doesn't happen than I've lost all faith in drunken humanity.

(8) The absence of "that awkward brother in law that gets a little too emotional around his new sister"

(9) Jose Melina is in attendance. Or was it the other Melina... ?

(10) Somebody yells "You da man Tiger!" during the ceremony. Either that or "WHAAAAMMMYYY!"

Reasons why you're still single... Friday Night Baseball

(1) You stay up watching the Seattle Mariners - San Francisco Giants game which went 12 innings and was quite entertained by Dave Sims fake-Griffey grand slam call.

"THERE IS IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Going back, back, back, back and it's caught a few feet before the warning track"

The story of Griffey's comeback to Seattle.

(2) You and your buddy try and take the Pittsburgh Pirates to the World Series on MLB 2K8 but realize you can't beat the stinkin' Cincinnati Reds on Rookie mode.

JustSON the Numbers: Tim Lincecum vs. Brandon Morrow

You gotta love Bill Bavasi if you are a Mariners fan. I'm going to break down the careers so far of pitchers Brandon Morrow, who the Mariners selected with the 5th overall selection in the 2006 MLB draft, and Tim Lincecum, who the San Francisco Giants took with the 10th overall pick in the same draft.

It is believed that the deciding factor on why the Mariners decided on Morrow (grew up in California and played college ball for the California Golden Bears) over Lincecum (who attended high school in Renton, Washington and played for the Washington Huskies) was because of how small Lincecum is. Morrow is the size of your average pitcher at 6'3" and about 200 pounds while Lincecum is much smaller at 5'11" and 170 pounds, so it was assumed that Lincecum was more at risk for injury.

The injury theory has so far proven to be incorrect as Lincecum has never been on the disabled list in the major leagues and Morrow missed two weeks of spring training in 2008 and was then put on the disabled list on May 2, 2009 with bicep tendinitis. Also Morrow is a Type 1 diabetic, which even he acknowledged was a factor in his decision to move out of his role as a starting pitcher and move into the bullpen because it is easier for him to balance his blood sugar.

Both pitchers made their debuts in the 2007 season and have both had success. Lincecum has amassed 28 wins with 11 losses and a career 3.17 ERA in 65 total appearances (64 of them starts). He has also struck out 473 batters in a combined 417 2/3 innings. In 2008 Lincecum was selected to the All-Star Game but was unable to participate because of flu-like symptoms. He went on to win the 2008 National League Cy Young Award. Lincecum is one of only two Giants to win a Cy Young, the other was Mike McCormick in 1967.

Brandon Morrow holds a career record of 6 wins and 10 losses with 16 saves (5 blown saves) and a 3.90 ERA. He has appeared in 114 games (5 of them were as a starter) and has 150 strikeouts over 136 innings. In Morrow's first career major league start against the New York Yankees at Yankee Stadium on September 5, 2008 he pitched 7 2/3 innings of no hit baseball before eventually winning the game 3-1.

Now both pitchers are still only 24 years old so they have long careers ahead of them but from where I am sitting I would much rather have Tim Lincecum suiting up every 5th day for the Mariners. Not only because of his statistics, lack of injury history and the fact that he is a starting pitcher which at this time the Mariners are in sore need of. I'd also like to see him with Seattle because this is where he grew up and played college baseball, now what Mariner fan out there wouldn't be excited to root on a local product?

Who knows though, maybe Morrow turns into a dominant closer and goes on to many years of success for Seattle and maybe Lincecum turns into a 4th or 5th starter. Only time will tell, but so far it appears the Giants got a steal.

If anyone has any requests for this column let us know. I don't discriminate, no matter the sport or the stat.

Hey kids! Become Oakland Athletic fans

Think Seattle sports fans are troubled? Try being an Oakland Athletics fan. They have their own issues. The Oakland Athletics have been pretty successful in wins and loses out on the field thanks to the excellent general management of Billy Beane, but everything else concerning the franchise has been a mitigated disaster.

Hey kids! Time to become Athletics fans...

You get to watch games at the Oakland Coliseum - Which is not only the worst baseball stadium in the major leagues, but you'll also get mugged outside the stadium by Oakland Raiders fans. They need the money to keep their franchise going.

You get to see the best baseball players play at the Coliseum - For the other team, after the A's refused to pay their star players any money and the Yankees or any other big-market team snatched them up.

There's plenty of seats - In fact, you and your family might be the only ones watching.

You can jump ship and nobody will notice - Really, at this point, people expect A's fans to completely give up on their team.

Enjoy reading about the A's in the newspaper - Because they don't get their games on television, or radio. In the bay area.

Have Giants envy - Trust me. I know a Giants fan. That's not something to envy.

Plan on moving to Fremont in a little bit - Ah the fine baseball town of Fremont... they have such history there.