You've encouraged your College Republicans cronies to print out hundreds of "Impeach Obama" bumper stickers, causing a riot between you and the College Democrats, who are still trying to figure out how to peel off their "Impeach Bush" stickers off their Honda civics.
... in other news, nobody else (including women) have any urge whatsoever to impeach a president that's been in office less than a year - nor did they care about impeaching Bush during his term. Congrats on being street rat crazy!
Showing posts with label Republicans. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Republicans. Show all posts
November 3, 2008
Why I'm Communist
No, I'm actually a pretty moderate American, but here's a couple things about the elections that bug me.
- Saturday Night Live only gets funny around this time.
- College students complaining about how politicians talk out of their butt, and then the same college students talk out their butts about politics.
- College Republicans/Democrafts... aka... one step below people who play WoW.
- Obama's skinny legs.
- Fox News declaring McCain the winner last week.
- CNN declaring Obama the winner last week.
- The New York Times endorsing Obama for supreme chancellor.
- No Ross Perot on the ballot.
- Canada
But other than that... get out and vote!
April 13, 2008
BREAKING NEWS! Democrats go Emo
In an effort once again to gain a stranglehold of the youth vote, Democrat leaders have employed a new strategy to enlist new college students into their ranks.
After extensive research by the Democrat think tank that recommended John Kerry as their presidential nominee in the election of 2004, a conclusion by party officials that the best way to reach college students is to go emo.
"Trust me dudes, Hilary is down with emo, so is Barack," said a highly-place party leader. "Do you think John McCain ever felt the pain of not being loved by his own parents? No, he was a war hero, everybody loves a war hero."
Photos on the Internet have surfaced showing a eye-shadowed Hillary Clinton, wearing a t-shirt from Hot Topic, dodging sniper fire.
The new strategy seems to be gaining ground among college students.
"I love that Barack and Hillary finally understand who I am," said Shelly Monoloham, a major in physiology. "I hear Barack owns a Invader Zim backpack and cuts himself when he loses a state in the primaries."
Facebook groups such as "Republicans: they don't listen to Good Charlotte" and "John McCain doesn't wear girl pants."
Republicans have responded to the emo backlash lethargically.
"Well, we like to cater to constituents who aren't at risk of suicide," said one party official. "And makes lots and lots of money. You do the math with emo kids."
As surge in the polls for the democrats has become apparent in the 18-25 demographic. Roughly 90 percent of all college-age votes so far have been towards the left in primaries, which accounts for a complete shift of .00008 of the vote.
After extensive research by the Democrat think tank that recommended John Kerry as their presidential nominee in the election of 2004, a conclusion by party officials that the best way to reach college students is to go emo.
"Trust me dudes, Hilary is down with emo, so is Barack," said a highly-place party leader. "Do you think John McCain ever felt the pain of not being loved by his own parents? No, he was a war hero, everybody loves a war hero."
Photos on the Internet have surfaced showing a eye-shadowed Hillary Clinton, wearing a t-shirt from Hot Topic, dodging sniper fire.
The new strategy seems to be gaining ground among college students.
"I love that Barack and Hillary finally understand who I am," said Shelly Monoloham, a major in physiology. "I hear Barack owns a Invader Zim backpack and cuts himself when he loses a state in the primaries."
Facebook groups such as "Republicans: they don't listen to Good Charlotte" and "John McCain doesn't wear girl pants."
Republicans have responded to the emo backlash lethargically.
"Well, we like to cater to constituents who aren't at risk of suicide," said one party official. "And makes lots and lots of money. You do the math with emo kids."
As surge in the polls for the democrats has become apparent in the 18-25 demographic. Roughly 90 percent of all college-age votes so far have been towards the left in primaries, which accounts for a complete shift of .00008 of the vote.
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