The Northwest stinks when it comes to food

I love the Northwest. It's the perfect place for me to backpack around in my sandals and talk about how great soccer is and how we need universal healthcare. There's also plenty of Brazilian flute bands and Canadians to give the area a fully-rounded feel to it.

However, when it comes to food, what does the Northwest have? Consider the following regional food designations...

Northeast - Clam Chowder and Dunkin Donuts
South - Everything fried and bad for you
Midwest - Pretty much anything BBQ or involving beer.
Northwest - ??? Starbucks?
The rest of the West - Carl's Jr.

You see the regional crises that we're having? What is the Northwest known for? One guess would be apples, but those are grown and you actually don't do any "cooking" so to speak of.

What does that leave us with?

There's some wineries along the Columbia, making us a bunch of snobs. There's potatoes in Idaho which means we are pretty good in the minds of the Irish. There are goats cows in Montana, but they don't use them for cooking (eww) and there's seafood along the coast, but it's not as well known as seafood from Maine and Alaska (where the crabs are on roids).

It's so depressing, I may just go to McDonalds.

Things NOT to bring to a BBQ

The weather is awesome tonight and before the Jay Mohr show, we're having a barbecue at my sister's house.

It is a "bring a dish" kind of barbecue . A potluck if you will of barbecue goodness.

It never fails though, someone will always bring something gross. Here's the JustSON Top 10 items NOT to bring to a barbecue.

1. Nothing. Yeah, don't be THAT guy. If you show up with nothing and try to eat one of my burgers I might have to push you off the deck.

2. Soy milk. Seriously? WTF?!!

3. One single beverage. Dude, come on. Let's go back to elementary school, either you bring enough for everyone or you don't get any. Also, don't show up with the Rainier and then drink all the Red Hook.

4. Veggie burgers. Gross! Usually this is the same person that brought the soy milk.

5. The same potato salad. Yes, the same one that you brought to the last barbecue of the summer in 2008. I can tell it's the same because of the extra green fuzz on the potatoes.

6. A pitcher of water. Ummm....pretty sure that I could get that out of a tap. Go home.

7. A live cow. That'd be like bringing a pig to a bacon party. If I can't throw it on the grill as it is, don't bring it.

8. A Pittsburgh Steelers jersey. Yeah, you I would definitely push you off the porch.

9. A full stomach. You're supposed to come hungry to eat the food. Not show up, eat a green bean and say you're good.

10. Something gross or not the "norm" of barbeque food. This means no sheep eyes, no sushi, no goat hoof, no cow udder, no buffalo dung, no ostrich throat. I don't care how "tasty' you say they are, the answer is no.