No Country for Old Men

With the retirement of Tim Wakefield... comes the retirement of Jason Varitek.

I mean the past few years his performance at the plate has been awful and the reason the Red Sox kept him around was his defensive abilities at catcher. He was basically Wakefield's own personal catcher, so there isn't a whole lot of use for him anymore in the lineup. But that was all in the recent past. If you look back further, he was a great player for the Sox.

Here's things he can put on his resume:
-Three time All-State
-Three time Golden Glove winner
-Three time Silver Slugger
-Only the third team captain in Red Sox history
-2004 and 2007 World Series Champion.

Yeah I think he's good.

Here's a snippet of the general "praise for a player who retired" story.

“He was just involved with everybody,’’ Buchholz said. “If you ever needed advice about anything - hitting, pitching, catching, whatever - he was the guy. If he didn’t know the answer, he would find out for you then sit down with you and let you know.’’

From every corner of the clubhouse yesterday, players praised Varitek after hearing that the 15-year veteran would announce his retirement tomorrow at JetBlue Park. They knew it was coming, Varitek having turned down the Sox’ offer to come to camp on a minor league contract. But that didn’t lessen the impact of the news.

“I loved working with him,’’ said Josh Beckett. “I never had a catcher before that I felt like cared more about wanting me to be successful even before he wanted to be successful.

“He’s going to be missed a lot, in the clubhouse and on the field.’’

Big Sky Championship games close to home

Senior night for the Eagles wasn't actually Senior Night. With their victory over Idaho State, they clinched the right to host a Big Sky quarterfinal game this Saturday.

Senior night at Reese Court turned out to be only the beginning.

Seniors Cliff Colimon and Laron Griffin had career nights to lead Eastern Washington University to a 77-64 victory over Idaho State in the final Big Sky Conference regular season men's basketball game of the year for both teams Tuesday (Feb. 28) at Reese Court in Cheney, Wash.

The victory clinched the No. 4 seed in the Big Sky Conference Tournament for the Eagles, who finished the regular season 8-8 in the Big Sky and 14-16 overall. The victory means the Eagles will host the Bengals this Saturday (March 3) at 2:05 p.m. Pacific time at Reese Court in a quarterfinal game of the tournament.

Another good bit of info. With Montana defeating Weber State last night, the bulk of the Big Sky Tournament will be played down in Missoula meaning if the Eagles make it to the Semis, they'll be playing just an hour and 20 minutes south of me.

Soooo close...

Epic Video: Mariners rap

This was actually made for before last season but I mean I think it gets the point across about Mariners baseball.

Portland Timbers tattoo

A few weeks ago I posted about the Portland Timbers new campaign for allowing a winning fan to design a Timbers tattoo and then get it.

Well I'm not sure who much hardcore that fan's tattoo could get than this guy.

This Atletico Nacional fan tattooed his team's jersey on his body. That's a hardcore fan!

Red Sox clubhouse will be dry

Yay! Baseball is a real sport! We promise! A sport that allows its athletes to drink beer in the clubhouse after or during the game. That seems legit right? Anyways after the whole BeerChickengate last season with the Boston Red Sox, it appears that new manager Bobby Valentine won't have any sort of that nonsense at Fenway Park this season.

Manager Bobby Valentine told the team today that he has banned alcohol in the clubhouse and on team flights returning to Boston.

The edict was expected given the news last fall that starting pitchers Josh Beckett, Clay Buchholz, Jon Lester and John Lackey drank beer and ate fast-food chicken while games were going on last season.

But Valentine may have done it anyway, saying that alcohol was banned from the Mets clubhouse when he managed the team from 1996-2002.

“It’s just what I’ve always done,” he said. “I’m comfortable with it that way.”

The Red Sox are the 19th team to ban alcohol in the clubhouse, a list that includes the Yankees, Mets, Dodgers and world champion Cardinals.

Way to take a stand! Nevermind that you guys do this for a job and most people that drink on the job would lose them in a hurry. Whatever, instead you make millions of dollars for looking like Kenney Powers when you show up to training camp (cough cough Josh Becketts man boobs). It's actually a sad, sad sign when this kind of thing is actual news in the Boston media circuit.

The new carpet at the Clink

The Clinks hosts the Seattle Seahawks and the Seattle Sounders, not to mention numerous other events and the occasional Eastern Washington football game. It gets a lot of use in Seattle, and that means a lot of abuse on the turf. Hence, they just replaced the turf after it was just installed in 2008. Not exactly a long shelf life for this artificial turf.

And with the Huskies coming to play football in the Clink, will it hold up?

The installation of new FieldTurf at CenturyLink Field was completed Friday, right on schedule at the end of February. The Sounders are set to practice Monday and Tuesday on the new synthetic surface -- the debut of the "Revolution" system -- leading into Wednesday's preseason finale against Jaguares de Chiapas at 7 p.m.

The field looks impressive now, but the key will be how it holds up. CenturyLink Field is a popular venue for concerts and events; the venue will also host three teams in 2012 as the UW football team joins the party in the fall during Husky Stadium renovations.

Couldn't the Huskies just play at Safeco Field, I mean then they might actually have some real athletes in that building?

I'm broke now after buying this stuff

Went on a crazy shopping spree, looking like I've be receiving these items in the mail...

Desktop USB Nerf Dart Cannon - I'm sick of co-workers getting on my computer. Therefore an automated cannon of nerf doom would keep them away. My work space is more heavily defended than the Atlantic Wall (that's a WW2 reference, look it up).

Snowball thrower - It snows in Montana. Some people think its funny to throw snowballs. Not so after I get done with them. This perfectly designed kicking ass device should put a face-full of snow at any person dumb enough to think they can go all Nolan Ryan on me. I counter your Nolan Ryan with my Duke Nukem.

Backyard Ice Rink - Forget the Outdoor classic. Hockey on TV is stupid. In person? It's going to be pretty freakin' awesome when I have the only ice rink in Polson. Too bad I'm gonna have to put it in the neighbor's parking spot.

Tauntaun sleeping bag - "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside." ... actually that's just me farting. My bad.

Star Wars Garbage Compacter scene bookends - "Listen to them R2, they're dying!" Nope, just Chuck Testa. Or rather the coolest bookends I've ever seen in the 26 years of my life!

Cat turn table - Because cats know how to party.

Ghostbusters sign - You know how effing stupid those dumbass "Ghost Hunter" shows are on SyFy? They're about as dumb as this sign is awesome. I don't need infrared cameras and you making fake ghosts noises off camera. All I need is this sign. I aint afraid of no ghosts.

Jedi Shower Robe - I mean what other time would I be allowed to wear a Jedi Robe and not get laughed at? Okay never, but I mean if I'm gonna wear a shower rob, it might as well make me look like an intergalactic badass.

Facebook shower curtain - People say I'm always online. This would only prove it.

Epic Photo: Somebody who won't be participating in the gene pool

Dean Potter’s solo walk at Taft Point in Yosemite, California. Photographer: Jeff Cunningham

Eagles heading to the Big Sky Tournament

It's time to party! EWU is headed to the tournament! Well... the Big Sky Conference tournament, but at least the Eagles have looked much-improved this year with first-year head coach Jim Hayford.

POCATELLO— Tremayne Johnson scored five of his seven points on the night during the final 33 seconds, converting 5 of 6 free throws, to secure Eastern Washington’s 85-78 win over Idaho State.

The win ensured a Big Sky playoff berth for the Eagles (13-15, 7-7) and puts them in a position to garner a home game during the first round.

Now if Montana can take care of business, the BSC tourney might be held in Missoula meaning I will be making the trip south to watch some Eagle basketball. I hate to say it but I will actually be rooting for the Griz.

Cam's Night Out

Happy Friday everyone in JustSON Nation!

Saw this ad with Cam Newton. How are you spending your Friday night?

Honey Badger socks

Around the Just South of North headquarters we're huge fans of the honey badger. During our editorial meetings the phrase, "honey badger don't care" is often thrown around.

Well now we've found some team socks that Brandon and I will certainly be wearing.

Check them out:
They are from DeFeet International and are awesome!

Here's the official description:

By now you've probably heard of the honey badger. If you haven't, search for the animal on youtube. Such an amazingly tough animal makes us want to award the nickname to our toughest athletes. Jens Voigt, for example. The German attacks his rivals incessantly. He seems practically unbothered by having to make tempo at the head of the field for hours on end. Voigt would crash, rise, crash, and rise again, only to resume the attacking when he regained the group.

Jens Voigt knows how to keep pushing himself.



"Honey badger don't care!"

Franklin Gutierrez hopes to bounce back from IBS

I really don't want to make fun of this because considering our last post where Bobby Jenks almost died from a back condition, but Seattle's Franklin Gutierrez battle with Irritable Bowel Syndrome is certainly an odd story. For the last two years it hurt his play out on the field but he's looking for a turnaround season this year.

Gutierrez, who turned 29 on Tuesday, is ecstatic to have emerged from the painful nightmare of the last year and a half.

He was branded an emerging American League star after a 2009 season in which he hit .283 with 18 homers, and according to advanced statistics was the best defensive outfielder in baseball.

But halfway through the 2010 season — one in which he earned a Gold Glove, but declined precipitously across the board, statistically — Gutierrez got his first pangs of stomach distress.

It turned out to be a debilitating illness that confounded doctors for months before he was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) in late April. But even then, it took awhile before Gutierrez figured out how to manage the condition, and by that time, 2011 was a long-lost season.

Gutierrez hit just .224 in 92 games, but it was an exceedingly weak .224, including just one homer and a .273 slugging percentage.

As the season progressed, Gutierrez learned, through trial and error, what he could eat and couldn't eat — and when he could eat. Late-night snacks, for the most part, were out. Doctors settled on effective meds. And by this past offseason, Gutierrez was feeling good again — good enough to work out intensively all winter. He left for home in Venezuela weighing 183 at the end of last season (after getting down to a low of 175), and returned this month at a muscular 200.

I really do hope he bounces back from it. I got the chance to watch his great 2009 season, and watching him in the outfield in person is a real treat. He was really among the best outfielders in the majors - his range was absolutely insane.

If he can return to form the Seattle Mariners will still suck, but at least there will be somebody decent in the lineup.

Bobby Jenks almost died

Well this doesn't sound fun at all...

FORT MYERS, Fla. -- Bobby Jenks was not just fearful that his career was in jeopardy, the right-handed reliever was terrified for his life last December.

Jenks had surgery to remove bone spurs in his back on Dec. 12 at Massachusetts General Hospital and was back home in Phoenix a few weeks later when he noticed the incision in the middle of his back was leaking some kind of fluid.

The Red Sox pitcher bandaged it up himself and first thought nothing of it. But the problem didn't subside, so he visited a doctor and was rushed into emergency surgery on Dec. 30 to repair "a mistake" that Jenks said could have been a life-threatening situation.

"It was pretty serious," he recalled Thursday at training camp.

Jenks also was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism last September, and because of that issue he had to wait until December to undergo back surgery. Leading up to the surgery, he was working out and trying to get as physically strong as he could so his body could handle the procedure.

This doesn't make me want to get old and have back surgery, so hopefully... hopefully mine holds up so I can be the 70-year old doing 5K runs as opposed to moving around in a wheelchair.

Epic Photo: Best hair band ever

Move over Whitesnake!

Epic Photo: Solar Eclipse

From Space.com

A NASA spacecraft has captured stunning footage of Tuesday's (Feb. 21) partial solar eclipse, which left our star looking briefly like a huge celestial Pac-Man.

NASA's Solar Dynamics Observatory (SDO) was watching Tuesday morning when the new moon crossed part of the sun's face in a partial eclipse that was visible only from space.

Actually that's crap... the large thing blocking out the sun is actually John Lackey...

Epic Photo: I think this guy wants to be noticed

Just a hunch...

Red Sox get the "other" Chris Carpenter

The Red Sox got Chris Carpenter! Only it isn't the St. Louis pitcher who's a strike-out machine and the anchor in that rotation. Nope... it's this guy...

The situation is finally resolved after close to four months of fruitless haggling. Carpenter, 26, was a third-round pick in the 2008 MLB Amateur Draft. He can touch 100 mph with his fastball, but the right-hander posted an ugly 5.91 ERA in 42 2/3 minor-league innings last season and projects as nothing more than a middle reliever. The Sox will also get a player to be named later and will send the Cubs a player to be named later at some future date.

For getting Theo Epstein as their GM, the Cubs had to give up players to be named later. While Boston initially asked for their best two players, Chicago smartly turned them down and instead sent over this guy who could get you excited if you didn't realize he "wasn't that Chris Carpenter."

Meanwhile, Boston doesn't have a fourth or fifth starting pitcher in the rotation. Ye gods...

Delta's 2.74 pound mountain bike

This bike is a beast! It weighs in at just 2.74 pounds and it's frame is made of carbon fiber and Kevlar.

Delta 7‘s awesome new Antrix Mountain bike is sure to make any bike enthusiast’s jaw drop. Designed for rugged terrain, this beauty of a bike features a patented IsoTruss carbon fiber and Kevlar “spider web-like” tube frame, and its smart yet stealth frame weighs in at just 2.74 lbs! The Arantix is buit to withstand extreme use, and its unparalleled strength-to-weight ratio results in an ultra stiff and responsive bike. No price has been revealed yet, but a limited production of just 200 frames should tell you something.

It's pretty sweet, but somehome I'm guessing out of my price range.

RUHT ROW! Somebody give the Zags some Scooby Snacks

With St. Mary's losing to Loyola Marymount, all Gonzaga had to do was win out and they would at least have a share of the title. However, after last night's loss to San Francisco, the Zags have blown it.

What does this  loss mean? Basically Gonzaga no longer controls its destiny to win the WCC regular season title. They need St. Mary's to lose. If they don't win the regular season title, that means their resume for the NCAA Tournament might take a hit. If it takes a hit, that means they're going to have to do good in the WCC Tournament in order to go dancing. If they go one and done at the conference postseason tournament... Spokane might be idle this March.

They host BYU in the Kennel on Feb. 23, and if they lose that game, their NCAA hopes could take a bigger dip. That's four conference losses. That's a WCC team that haven't beat in the regular season and could be facing in the postseason tournament. I'm not saying that Gonzaga's season is over, but it's hanging by a thread at the moment and some late season losses could put them over the edge.

Epic Photo: Mount Rainier

This one comes from National Geographic.

This image captures almost 6 hours of climbing parties on Rainier going for the summit under starry skies. Wind shifts during the night would cause bands of smoke from fires 100 miles away on Mt Hood to pass over Rainier. This intermittent low-level haze caused the red glow seen in the sky and a Rainier that looks like it was almost painted on. Lights from Sunrise can be seen in the lower right of the frame. (© Chris Morin)

Josh Beckett doesn't get it

What does Josh Beckett think of last season's "Beer and Chicken" fiasco that was brought up after the Red Sox epic collapse?

Just last week, Josh Beckett surfaced to give his side of last year's chicken-and-beer uproar.

Until this, Beckett had been heard only through a prepared statement in October. Like John Lackey, he had grudgingly conceded the pitchers could have behaved differently, but he took exception to reports of drinking on the bench.

Those reports, unlike the chicken-and-beer stories, have not gained credibility. Major media seems to have largely dismissed them.

Otherwise, Beckett attributed his silence to a preoccupation with caring for his infant daughter. Explanation accepted.

That does not change the disturbing fact that Beckett does not seem to get it. And he won't, until he stops talking as if the real crime was not in being guilty but in getting caught.

What happens in the clubhouse should stay there, he said, rather than leak out to the public.

(Sigh) Here's the issue with this situation. When you're watching the Rays and Yankees, the entire teams up on the top step in close games, guys seem to genuinely like one another, there's plenty of joking around, it looks like they're having fun out there. That's what you need with a baseball team, you need it to feel like a team. No surprise, they made the playoffs.

When your starting pitchers and team leaders cut out early to go in the clubhouse from some KFC and Coors Light, what does that say to the rest of the team? It shows a lack of focus, and a disregard for the importance of the team.

Enjoy the Boston media this year, Josh!

Stuckey Update: Lighting up the Kings

Hey remember this guy?

EWU's Rodney Stuckey finished with a season-high 36 points last night and the Detroit Pistons beat the Sacramento Kings 114-108.

While not a battle of the titans, both teams are a combined 20-42 on the season, but it's good to see Stuckey continue to do good things in the NBA.

"We were getting easy buckets just by pushing the ball," Stuckey said to AP. "We were getting out on the break, Brandon [Knight] was pushing the ball, and I was getting rim attacks. That's my game."

Stuckey is averaging 14.7 points per game and 4.1 assists this season, and has scored over 20 in his past three games. This is his fifth year in the NBA but it's been a sluggish start to the year, however he might be on the rise for a second-half surge.

Either way, five years in the NBA means he's better than any Gonzaga player in the NBA from the past 15 years (We're not counting John Stockton, of course).

All hail the ultimate junkball pitcher

How can you say that a pitcher helped save a series when they pitched three and a half innings in a blowout loss? Well that would basically sum up Tim Wakefield in a nutshell. Wakefield announced his retirement from baseball, and at age 45 its probably a good time to hang up the cleats but nobody is going to forget about him anytime soon.

He might be the slowest pitcher in the league, he might make Jamie Moyer seem like he's throwing heat. He's payoff pitch is that quirky knuckleball. You know the one pitch your coach told you to stop throwing in Little League? Wakefield may give up home runs. He may not have days where the knuckle ball is working. He may be the only reason the Red Sox keep catcher Jason Varitek and mannequin at the plate in the lineup. But above all, Wakefield is one of those rare guys that may not look like a monster on paper but you want him on your team.

During the 2004 ALCS, Wakefield gave up his start in Game 4 to save a battered Red Sox bullpen when things look liked trouble. With everyone jumping up and down at the thought of another Boston collapse and the curse of the Babe rearing it's ugly head for another year, Wakefield did what was best for the team.

I'm not saying that he knew they were going to win the next four games BUT his mindset was more along the lines of "I'm going to give this the best chance I can to win the next four games." As a team, that's the mental state you need to be in to pull off something as historic as the 2004 ALCS. Wakefield and the team were stupid to think they could sweep the Yankees in the next four games but the funny thing is, that stupidity paid off.

New York would win Game 3 19-8 to go up 3-0 in the series, but Wakefield's act helped keep arms fresh. The more arms you can throw out there on the mound, the better chance you have at winning in a series setting. Boston won Game 4, Wakefield ended up being the winning pitcher in Game 5 and you know how the rest of the series went down. Legen...dary.

(Keep in mind that Wakefield was also the pitcher that gave up the Aaron Boone home run in the 2003 ALCS. Funny how baseball is poetic like that)

Here's the stat line from Boston.com...

Wakefield, 45, was 200-180 with a 4.41 ERA in 627 appearances in his 19-year career. The Florida native spent the final 17 seasons with the Red Sox, going 186-168 with a 4.43 ERA over 590 games. He is third in team history for victories, trailing only Cy Young and Roger Clemens, who each had 192.

Wakefield's 17 seasons with the Sox were the most for an active player. In team history, only Carl Yastrzemski (23), Ted Williams (19) and Dwight Evans (19) played more years with the team.

Wakefield leaves the Red Sox having pitched the most innings (3,006) and made the most starts (430) in team history. He was second in games pitched (590) and strikeouts (2,046).

He also allowed the most home runs (401), walks (1,095), hits (2,931), wild pitches (125), and hit batters (176) in team history and had the most losses.

Wakefield, the oldest player in baseball last season, was 7-8 with a 5.12 ERA in 33 games 23 of them starts. He pitched 154.2 innings.


The great thing about Boston is they definitely have players that become "our guys." (Carl Crawford, you're definitely not there yet) Favorites that play in Fenway and maybe they don't compile the greatest stats known to man, but the memories they make always stick with fans. Wakefield was one of "our guys."

Thanks Tim! After beer and KFC chicken-gate, it's good to remember there are still guys like you.

Epic Photo: This is how Ewoks do...

Ask storm-troopers about this...

LeBron James also said he would play college basketball

I just don't get why LeBron feels the need to humor us. By saying he could see himself playing for the Cleveland Cavaliers, he caused America to roll its eyes again. I wouldn't blame Cleveland fans if they never wanted to see you in their city limits again, so don't expect them to welcome you with open arms.

While I defend LeBron going to Miami, it was the best career move for him, I think its a little soon to be saying this when he's a YEAR into his deal with Miami. How do Heat fans feel right now?

CLEVELAND -- Could LeBron James see himself playing for the Cleveland Cavaliers again? He won't rule it out and said that if he decided to return someday he hopes the town's famously scorned fans would accept him back.

James qualified it all by saying he's happy playing for the championship-contending Miami Heat. But making his third return to Cleveland since his high-profile free-agency departure, hard feelings seem to be thawing from James' perspective.

"I think it would be great, it would be fun to play in front of these fans again," James said after the Heat's practice Thursday at Quicken Loans Arena.

"I had a lot of fun times here. You can't predict the future. Hopefully you continue to stay healthy. I'm here as a Miami player and I'm happy where I am now but I don't rule that out in any sense. If I decide to come back, hopefully the fans will accept me."

I think that after "The Decision" Lebron should just stop with the public comments for the next four years.

L.E.D. snowboarder

This is one of the coolest things I've seen in awhile. Happy Friday! Hit the snow over the long weekend!



Fashion photographer and filmmaker Jacob Sutton swaps the studio for the slopes of Tignes in the Rhône-Alpes region of south-eastern France, with a luminous after hours short starring Artec pro snowboarder William Hughes. The electrifying film sees Hughes light up the snow-covered French hills in a bespoke L.E.D.-enveloped suit courtesy of designer and electronics whizz John Spatcher.

"I was really drawn to the idea of a lone character made of light surfing through darkness," says Sutton of his costume choice. "I've always been excited by unusual ways of lighting things, so it seemed like an exciting idea to make the subject of the film the only light source."

Sutton, who has created work for the likes of Hermès, Burberry and The New York Times, spent three nights on a skidoo with his trusty Red Epic camera at temperatures of -25C to snap Hughes carving effortlessly through the deep snow, even enlisting his own father to help maintain the temperamental suit throughout the demanding shoot.

"Filming in the suit was the most surreal thing I've done in 20 years of snowboarding," says Hughes of the charged salopettes. "Luckily there was plenty of vin rouge to keep me warm, and Jacob's enthusiasm kept everyone going through the cold nights."

Epic Photo: Take that Don Zimmer

If you're a Red Sox fan, this never, ever gets old...

Learn more about about the Pedro vs. Zimmer incident.

Jon Brockman trick shots

Some pretty awesome trick shots from former University of Washington basketball player Jon Brockman.

Portland Timbers tattoo contest

Brandon and I are Seattle Sounders fans. I've gone to at least a few matches every season since the team joined the MLS. (Brandon went to two their first season then moved to Montana)

Well the awesome new marketing campaign by the Portland Timbers makes me think that it's time for Brandon to get a Timbers tattoo.

Do you have a tattoo idea? We’d love to see it. In celebration of the Timbers tattoo-inspired billboard currently displayed near the Morrison St. bridge, we’re asking all our fans to submit their own Timbers inspired tattoo design. Defender Eric Brunner and goalkeeper Jake Gleeson--two Timbers players who are tattoo aficionados--will be the judges for all eligible entries received. Eligible entries will be judged on the following basis: use of Portland Timbers branding (25%) originality (25%) and creativity (50%).

Oh, and the winner gets their tattoo paid for.

I'm thinking Brandon with a green lumberjack on his entire back.

Apple's new product

I hope this isn't too soon after Steve Jobs' death. 

Can't question Tim Tebow fandom

Football season is over but that doesn't mean Tebow-mania has to stop. While doing a little browsing today in the local Polson Walmart (better known as the center of all Lake County commerce), my roommate Dylan and I discovered a box of Tim Tebow posters.

Now neither of us are Denver Bronco fans, but how can you not want a Tim Tebow poster in your residence? If you don't like Tebow its something you can make fun of, like those weird Minnesota knick-knacks that your relatives send you, and if you do like him, you can point it out to all your friends.

But one poster isn't enough. At least not for Dylan and I. We decided to go all in and buy TWO Tim Tebow posters. Why? Because he's the effing son of God. That's why.

Tim Tebow Poster No. 1

Note in this photo, Tebow is sharing space with the best video game character of all time, the largest natural freshwater lake in the Western United States, dinosaurs, the best fans in Arena Football, the best soccer team in the state of Montana and Chuck Norris. I'd say he's in pretty good company.

Tim Tebow Poster No. 2

The second poster is sharing space with Darth Vader. I don't think I need to explain his awesomeness.

And what should you do around a Tim Tebow poster? There's only one thing you can do...

Epic Photo: Stratospheric Skydive

I'm usually afraid of getting on an airplane, but this stratospheric skydive makes that look like a walk in the park.

Is American democracy dead?

In America, where we like to tout democracy like the greatest thing since apple pie, you'd hope we'd have this whole "voting" thing figure out. But then the 2000 election showed that people didn't know how the fill out ballots. Now a report comes out that there are 1.8 DEAD million people registered to vote in this country.

What does that mean? Well if a zombie ever runs for president, they'll definitely get the "dead" vote which is probably more potent than the "under 25 college student know it all but is too high or lazy to vote" demographic.

Here's a bit from Gawker...

The Director of Pew's Election Initiatives, David Becker, told Politico that the center's findings did not suggest any voter fraud or voter suppression stemmed from these problems. But, jeez, it really doesn't look good, right?

Voting registration systems in many states are still paper-based, meaning that election offices must perform vast quantities of data-entry by hand. These methods, Pew found, are as costly, error-ridden, and inefficient as they are quaint.

Over one-fourth of the country that is eligibly to vote isn't even registered, meaning that our American democracy is about as healthy as our American waistlines. I'm totally sure that those 51 million Americans that aren't registered never complain about the government, their leaders, how life in America is or how stupid it is we celebrate Whitney Houston's death over the death of America soldiers with clever Facebook postings. Nope not a single one... (That's sarcasm if you didn't pick up on it.)

George Lucas is a terrible old man

This weekend, Star Wars brought in 23 million dollars which would have been a major disappointment if it were a new movie. Instead it's a re-release of arguably the worst Star Wars movie ever made: The Phantom Menace.

This time in 3D. Hooray, I can see that awful podrace sequence and stilted acting in all dimensions! Granted I'll have to wear some greasy pair of glasses that's been worn 100 times before me. But it's Star Wars right?!?!

Come on folks, George Lucas needs to be saved from himself. He dumpster fired the Indiana Jones series with the fourth installment. He destroyed all credibility Star Wars had with the awful Episode I, the laughable Episode II and the "Oh this isn't godawful so if must be awesome" Episode III.

It wouldn't be so bad except we're going to see these prequels re-released in theaters in 3D and then the original Star Wars movies will be released after that. Again. For the umpteenth time, the same Star Wars movies in theaters. La-Dee-Da. Star Wars fans need to be released from their own maker's crazy marketing schemes. 

Here's an idea George, make a new movie, stop re-releasing the same old movies with minor tweaks. I know you're making a butt load of money but at least act like you're trying. You re-released these movies after they were originally run. Then you released the special editions. How many times can you beat on a dead Ewok?

Can't wait in six years when the Platinum Ultra Cool Super Sweet Editions of his six movies hit theaters again that feature more Natalia Portman cleavage or something.

And now can you excuse me, I have to buy a Tie Fighter toy online.

Just South of North Trailer Video

Casey and I would like to apologize for the little break we took from not updating Just South of North. We're back folks! You can't get rid of us that easy...