Reasons why you're still single... you're a sports writer that still thinks people care about steroids

On the eve of our nation's celebration of independence, what better way to do that than take steroids and play baseball?

Tonight, Manny Ramirez will return from his 50-game suspension for doings roids and no doubt cause a bunch of old fart sports writers to ham out some self-righteous columns.

Spare us guys, we've already heard it. Maybe you should concentrate on why the heck nobody reads your newspapers anymore.

Manny being.....A-Rod?

Well it looks like the Los Angeles Dodgers Manny Ramirez is doing his best Alex Rodriguez impression. The LA Times has reported that Manny Ramirez has tested positive for Performance Enhancing Drugs (PED). Under baseballs policy Manny will be suspended for 50 games, this will cost the former Boston Red Sox star about 7.7 million dollars.

You can read the rest of the article here

I bet Manny thought it was a B-12 shot or something like that.

A stat to ponder for you baseball fans out there who love Manny Ramirez

Saw this on BostonDirtDogs.com

Jason Bay: 3 HR, 10 RBI, .344 Ave.
...The $25 Million Manny: 0 HR, 5 RBI, .278 Ave.

Looks like the Red Sox may have got the better end of the deal. And everyone around this area should be rooting for the guy anyways because he came from just across the border in Trail, BC.

Phillies vs. Braves stat tracker

We like mascots here at Just South of North and since Major League Baseball kicked off it's 2009 season at the home of one of the best mascots ever: Philadelphia, I decided to do a stat tracker for all of you that missed the Atlanta Braves beat the defending World Series Champions Phillies 4-1.

1 mass booing of Brett Myers by Philadelphia fans after everyone and their dog hit a home run off him in the season opener.

2 fan interference calls on Philadelphia fans. You stay classy.

1 fan getting stared down by the ump like a recess monitor stares down the kid that just kamikaze killed somebody in a rousing game of dodgeball.

1 fan saying he didn't touch the ball even though the replay showed he made a better play on the ball than Manny Ramirez ever has.

2 old-man multi-vitamin commercials shown during the game, meaning that ESPN must be trying to market towards Casey and I.

1 fluffy, light hearted in-between inning interview with Atlanta hitting coach Terry Pendleton.

1 chippy and akward in-between inning interview with Philadelphia hitting coach Milt Thompson. What a difference four runs make.

2 Philadelphia Phanatic sightings

1 umpire dancing with the Phanatic I'm wondering how many people actually wondered if this was a real ump, because when he ripped off his clothes to reveal a Phillies uniform, that should of stopped the speculation right there. However, this is actually quite normal in the NBA.

1 home run by Jordan Schafer in his firt at-bat as a major leaguer. Last year his missed 50 games in the minor leagues for the Braves due to suspension after testing positive for HGH. Glad to see he's clean now, right?

99 players who have accomplished Schafer's feat of homering in their first major league at-bat. Still working on finding out how many of them were suspended for using HGH.

3rd Grade Apparently where they found Jordan Schafer. He doesn't exactly look like he's been juicing. Unless he's juicing with Hi-C.

2 times the ESPN announcer Jon Miller called him Logan Schaffer.

There you have it, and if you want to see the official box score of the game, and just how awesome Braves' pitcher Derek Lowe was, CLICK HERE.

Go to work as your favorite or un-favorite athlete

Dylan Kitzan over at Unforgivable has a hilarious article about going to work pretending to be certain athletes. We'll take an excerpt to give you a taste at just what kind of cards he's dealing...

Alex Rodriguez. Isn't there an office pariah at all large companies? By wearing a pinstriped #13 jersey to work, you'll be admitting that nobody likes you and you'll pretend like you don't care. Like Armstrong, you'll be one of the best at what you do and, like Armstrong, you may or may not take a little out of the cashier's till when nobody's looking. Unlike Lance, however, you'll lie about it until it's proven in black and white, thanks to a newly-installed security camera, that you did screw the company over. Then you'll offer fake apologies, with zero regret, hoping to brush the incident under the rug. You insist that you haven't done that for years, but your co-workers and supervisors know better. Bonus points to anyone who runs into work and slaps the coffee out of someone's hand.

There's also a Manny reference, hence the Manny picture above. Seriously, go and read the entire article - all the bases are covered.