Epic Graphic of Greatness: Oh Nickelback...

Nickleback catches a lot of crap for being crappy. And it's all deserved...

(To buy music that will make you want to kill yourself, click here.)

Things aren't going so well for Robert Swift

Remember the Sonics' former savior Robert Swift? He was Seattle's first round draft pick in 2004 right out of college (Back when the NBA Draft had morphed into a weird "pick any kid you want from high school" phase) and had his best year in 2005 when he averaged 5 rebounds and 6 rebounds a game.

Now? Not so good. The Thunder renounced their rights to Swift in 2009, and he joined the NBDL Bakersfield Jam but played only two games and left because of personal reasons. He played in Japan between 2010-11 but has since run into even more trouble.

Swift's house was recently foreclosed despite him making an estimated $20 million during his NBA career. He refuses to leave, however, and the new home owner has had to deal with it.

"And it seems like a very sad story and I definitely feel for him," said the new owner, who wanted to hide her identity.

She thought she knew what she was getting when she bought the foreclosed home in January.

Cans of beer dot the grass outside the home. A bullet hole pierced the garage window at some point.

"Cars that don't look like they've moved in a long time," she noted.

Water festers in buckets outside of what was once a million dollar home in a wealthy Eastside suburb.

Well I guess the new Sonics won't be needing him for any more savior duties...

(Here's a Robert Swift autographed card, worth all of the 13 dollars)

Epic Sweater of Greatness

The greatest video game-themed sweater ever?

(To buy a Contra t-shirt, click here)

Epic Video: Best student section in the country... Maryland

I dunno Gonzaga, can you beat what Maryland has?

 

 (Buy the Maryland t-shirts they were wearing.)

Michael Saunders is using a pool noodle

Don't fret Mariners fans, I know your team was woefully under-powered offensively last season just like they've been for much of the past 10 years. I know the Mariners have made a big splash in the season by signing the over-the-hill Jason Bay and Raul Ibanez. I know Kendrys Morales will probably suck this season.

But don't fret! You guys have Michael Saunders... a guy that hit .247 last season but has been practicing with POOL NOODLES in the offseason. Better watch out American League. Saunders is gonna hurt you. Or at least splash water in your eye.

The noodle has actually been cut down to a small, straight foam tube, with a rubber strap attached at both ends. 

During batting practice, Saunders slides the contraption on over his head, with the foam coming to rest under his left armpit and the strap running tight across his chest and around the outside of his right arm. 

 "I call it 'The Lifejacket,' " Saunders said. "Brendan Ryan likes to call it 'The sushi roll' or 'The spicy tuna roll.' " The idea behind the device is for the foam to block his left elbow from getting in too tight against his body and "stalling out" when he swings. Instead, the foam forces his elbow to stay on its path in a stronger hitting position.

The Big Canadian has been apparently praised for the work he did improving his swing last year with private hitting instructor Mike Bard. Bard must work magic after being employed despite not getting his guy hitting over .250. Here's how Saunders has hit in the past three seasons...

Year     Avg.      HR      RBI 
2012    .247       19         57
2011    .149        2           8
2010    .211       10         33

As you can see, he has productive that would make any half-drunk middle relief pitcher with a sprained elbow the shakes. Consdering everyone will be hitting .247 for the Mariners next season, maybe Saunders will look like the strong point in the lineup.

Oh and I'm not mad the Red Sox barely beat Northeastern today 3-0. Nope not at all.

(To buy your future AL bating champion Michael Saunders jersey, click here.)

Man tries to wear spaghetti strainer in driver's license photo

There are some pretty weird religions out there and the most bizarre is the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. One follower caused quite the commotion when he wanted to wear a spaghetti strainer for his driver's license photo. The New Jersey DMV he was at refused and called the cops when he protested.

 25-year-old Aaron Williams, a practitioner of the mostly satirical anti-creationism "religion" of Pastafarianism, says he was told that motor vehicle policy prohibited the wearing of head coverings in license photos excepting those worn for religious reasons.

 "I take it as seriously as anybody else when it comes to religious beliefs," he later told NJ.com. Speaking with GallowayPatch, Williams added: "As a Pastafarian, I believe the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. The strainer is a showing of my devoutness to the religion."

Ummm... okay?

(You can buy the gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster here.)

YouTube Tuesdays: Does the 5-Second Rule Work?

The short answer is no, and this video does a good job making sure you'll never eat anything off the floor again.

The universe isn't forever

Bad news for those of you that wanted to live forever. Scientists have apparently discovered that the universe will, in fact, not last forever. Now there has been several theories as to what will happen to our reality, and the prevailing theory was that the universe will just go into a deep freeze and spread out.

The Large Hadron Collider and its use to discover of the Higgs boson particle point to a rather troubling end to our universe in billions and billions of years from now.

Work to study the Higgs' related particles, necessary for confirmation, is ongoing. If confirmed, the discovery would help resolve a key puzzle about how the universe came into existence some 13.7 billion years ago - and perhaps how it will end.

"This calculation tells you that many tens of billions of years from now, there'll be a catastrophe," Lykken said. "A little bubble of what you might think of as an ‘alternative' universe will appear somewhere and then it will expand out and destroy us," Lykken said, adding that the event will unfold at the speed of light.

Now its nothing we'll have to worry about because by that time the Earth will have been destroyed by the sun burning out... but nevertheless it is kind of disconcerting.

(To learn more about the Universe, get this Blu Ray)

Mississippi Officially Bans Slavery

Well... that took some time.

Mississippi ratified the 13th amendment on Feb. 7, meaning that in 2013, it officially ended slavery. The reason? The movie "Lincoln." A specialist at the University of Mississippi saw the flick and started digging into the state's ratification of the 13th amendment.

Georgia gave the amendment the three-fourths' vote it needed in December 1865, according to the Clarion-Ledger. Mississippi, Delaware Kentucky and New Jersey rejected the amendment. Kentucky ratified the amendment on March 18, 1976 after rejecting it on Feb. 24, 1865.

The specialist, Ken Sullivan, found out that Mississippi lawmakers voted to ratify the amendment in 1995, but never sent the necessary paperwork to the Office of the Federal Register, according to the Clarion-Ledger report published Sunday.

Sullivan contacted the Mississippi Secretary of States' office in late January, and the Senate resolution was sent to the federal government.

Mississippi has never had the reputation of being the country's most progressive states, so this isn't... surprising...

Meme Mondays: Way to go History Channel

Hey its Presidents Day! And this is the best they can do?

Asteroid strike in Russia

For the second time in 120 years, a large asteroid exploded in the atmosphere above Russia. While the first one, the Tunguska event, happened in 1908, this one happened this morning and injured 1,000 people. And we didn't see it coming...

It was a once in a decade event, Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson, an astrophysicist at the American Museum of Natural History, told TODAY on Friday, saying the impact was the physics equivalent of hitting a brick wall.

“When you hit a brick wall, you basically explode, and that’s what happened here, and it exploded in midair,” Tyson said. "There have never been any cases of meteorites breaking up at such a low level over Russia before," Yuri Burenko, head of the Chelyabinsk branch of the Emergencies Ministry, told Reuters.

This comes hours before the 150-foot Asteroid 2012 DA14 gives Earth a buzz cut... coming in lower than our communications satellites... but missing the planet. While the two events aren't connected, it does give the public and little bit of a wake up call when it oomes to asteroids. If the DA14 were to hit, it would be like someone dropped a 2.5 megaton bomb.

(If you want to learn more about asteroids...)

Year Five: Yes, FIVE

Somehow we have made it five years! Yes, this blog started in January of 2008 and five years later Just South of North is still going strong.

So thank you to all our readers. For without you we wouldn't have a blog.

Here's some famous 5's from the sports world:

1. Joe DiMaggio was a 13-time all-star, three-time MVP, and according to Ted Williams, was "the greatest all-around player I ever saw." Of course, he holds the current record for consecutive games with a hit, at 56, accomplished in 1941.

2. Jason Kidd's number 5 is retried by the University of Cal, 10 NBA All-Star, 5 time All-NBA First Team, 4 time All-Defensive First Team, an NBA champion, a Pac-10 player of the year and an NCAA All-American.

3. Donovan McNabb was a six time Pro Bowl selections, an NFC Champion, an NFC Offensive Player of the Year, he threw for 37,276 yards with a passer rating of 85.6.

4. Kasey Kahne is my favorite NASCAR driver from Enumclaw, Washington. He drives the number 5 car in the Sprint Cup Series and last season finished fourth in the series. He has 14 wins, 121 top tens and 26 poles.

5. Ray Finkle is famous from Ace Ventura and will forever be known for missing the kick and then kidnapping Dan Marino. Who'd forget this quote from Ray's mom? " It was all that Dan Marino's fault, everyone knows that. If he had held the ball, laces out, like he was supposed to, Ray would never have missed that kick. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie, son?"

(Buy a Ray Finkle shirt here)

Seattle Sounders 2013 jerseys

Earlier tonight I posted about the 2013 Portland Timbers jersey. And since the Seattle Sounders and Timbers are bitter rivals I figured it was only fair to post about the 2013 Seattle Sounders jersey as well.

(Buy your Seattle Sounders FC gear here)

 Now it took a bit of digging on my part to uncover the Portland Timbers jersey. However, the Seattle Sounders actually leaked their jerseys on accident. Photos of players showed up on their website wearing new, never before seen jerseys.

The rumors started flying that these were the new jerseys (and shortly after this the Sounders website removed the photos).

So, here are the believed to be 2013 Seattle Sounders jerseys:



Now the jerseys seem nothing special and look pretty much like the first edition of the Seattle Sounders jersey. Main difference is those jerseys had white Adidas striping and these have what appear to be a baby blue color striping. Also these have some sort of strange swirl pattern on the right shoulders. But overall, not very exciting. And is it just me or is the Rave Green not so Rave anymore?

Portland Timbers 2013 jerseys

The MLS season is quickly approaching and the league has announced a week-long "Jersey Week". During this week different MLS teams will showcase their new uniforms for the 2013 season. The Portland Timbers will be unveiling theirs on February 28.

(Buy your Portland Timbers gear here)

However, since this is the internet and everyone loves leaked uniforms I've found the Timbers new jerseys.

Now there were leaks out there before but those appear to not have been the final design.

And now, here is what is believed to be the FINAL design for the 2013 Portland Timbers jersey:



And all I can say is "SERIOUSLY?!?!"

I'll hold my final judgement until I see these in action, but for now they look bad. Especially after all the thought that went into the teams first jersey. The best part of this jersey is the Oregon logo in the corner that is colored like the city of Portland's flag.  

Why Felix stayed in Seattle...

Now that the Mariners have locked-up ace Felix Hernandez for probably the remainder of his awesome career (or at least the useful years of his career), Seattle fans can celebrate. Usually the big-name player in the Emerald City leaves and goes to a bigger market, but for some reason Felix decided to stay. Here's why the fireballer decided to remain in Seattle...

1. They're going to call it the "Felix Needle" - Remember the most recognizable landmark on the Seattle skyline? Yeah Felix owns that now, and he's calling it the Felix Needle. Justin Verlander doesn't have that now does he? Also what building in Detroit would you want your name on anyways?

2. Eventually, the Mariners said, Washington will invade Canada and Felix will be deposited as a real king - Since the Canadians have like 10 people in their army, the Washington National Guard could probably mop up pretty easily. At that point, the neighbors to our north will need some kind of royalty to follow and what about... King Felix?

3. Felix gets a free copy of Windows 9 - It hasn't even been designed yet, but he's got it. Thank you Microsoft!

4. The Mariners are changing their logo - And it's just going to be a mugshot of Felix.

5. Boston and New York called, by the Mariners picked up and said Felix wasn't home.

6. The Mariners threw in Sounders season tickets - And since Felix has never seen the postseason, he'll get to experience it for the first time... at Century Link Field.

7.  The Band KISS will now play - LIVE AT SAFECO FIELD - everytime Felix jogs out to the mound - Because after all, they're not doing anything else are they?

8. Felix also gets a lifetime supply of those large chicken drumsticks they hand out in the Kings' Court - The Mariners are praying he doesn't show up to Spring Training overweight.

9. There is a Promise that Felix will be traded to the Sonics once the NBA returns to Seattle - Have you seen this guy's jump shot?

10. Mariners told Felix that New York has just changed their uniforms to say "Seattle" on them and Yankee Stadium looks exactly like Safeco Field - They're hoping he doesn't notice when they actually play the New York Yankees.

(To buy a Felix jersey, go here.)

Lighting Strikes St. Peter’s Basilica, Maybe Pope Shouldn't Have Quit

Or since the Basilica is the highest natural point for the lighting to strike and there's actually probably a lighting rod on the top of it to make the building safe in case of thunder storms. Either or. But that doesn't make this story any less sensational. Mere hours after the pope said he would be resigning, lighting hit St. Peter's Basilica.

Alessandro Di Meo, one of two photographers who captured the ominous event on camera, told the BBC he was met with much skepticism after his photo went public. "I understand that the picture may be incredible," he said. "Photos of lightning have always been done, but the only difference, in this case, is that it is the right place and at the right time."

(To learn more about the Vatican, here's a book)

YouTube Tuesday: Why can't we see aliens?

The universe is huge and has countless planets possibly harboring life. So just why haven't we seen any evidence of life outside of our own planet. This video tries to explain that.

 

 (For you conspiracy theorists out there, here is a book on UFOs.)

UK not liking the Fox

Apparently, London has a problem with urban foxes, or at least the media thinks so...

An urban fox crept into a home in Lewisham on Wednesday and dragged a four-week-old baby from its cot, severing its finger in the process. The child's mother, alerted by the boy's screams, had to kick the fox to get it to release the boy's hand, which was lodged down the animal's throat.

First, ewwww. Second, while these attacks are sensationalized, dog attacks are much more likely in the UK. That doesn't stop them from being the British version of coyotes or GASP wolves. A menace that has very little impact on people but you keep hearing stories about it...

Yet despite being such an atypical event, it [fox attacks] is repeatedly referred to in the press. In comparison, the seven children and five adults killed by dogs since 2005, and the hundreds more disfigured, receive far less coverage. Nor are urban fox numbers increasing, despite claims made by yet another "expert" on the recent Channel 4 programme. In many cities fox numbers have declined due to sarcoptic mange, an extremely unpleasant and fatal disease.

So there you have it. FOXES: The Scourge of the UK.

Meme Monday: Pope Meme

The biggest news story of the day is the news that the Pope is stepping down. He cites health problems and I wish him the best. That doesn't excuse him, however, from some hilarious memes...

Macklemore Thrift Shop Parody "Pet Shop"

If you've been hiding under a rock then you probably don't know who Seattle native Macklemore is. Well he has a song called "Thrift Shop" that has taken the Billboard Charts by storm the last few weeks.

(Buy Thrift Shop by Macklemore single here)

Today I heard a great parody called "Pet Shop". It has dogs in it. So it's pretty awesome. Check it out.