February 8, 2008

Don't be that intramurals guy...

Man, who doesn't love college intramurals. You've got a quarter of the people taking the game way to serious to the point where fisticuffs break out, a quarter of the people who belong to the frat that refs are a part of and get all the calls and then about half of us that remain are mildly sane.

Then there are these people

1. The Sweat Monkey

Covered in a wonderful sheen of his own mucus, the sweat monkey is always the toughest player to guard on the court because nobody wants to catch Hepititis from the guy's sweat. He also smells like someone mixed together raw tuna and a buffalo hide.

2. The guy that has absolutely no business being on the court or field

Forget playing high school sports, you're contemplating if this guy has even left his room in the past five years. He wears accents such a hiking boots with his shorts and an X-files t-shirt that says "Scully is a hotty". Now while we here at JSON think Scully is indeed a hotty, we don't play intramural sports anymore, so we're off the hook. However, we're pretty sure that our love for a fictional FBI agent is why Harry Potter fans laugh at us.

3. The Miami Fan

Never quite got this one. Despite the fact that they're from Ohio, the insist on wearing their Ricky Williams jersey during flag football and Dwayne Wade threads during bball. If that wasn't weird enough, he actually makes references to Don Shula and Marino when he's playing.

4. The old dude

Fresh off his flashback from Nam, this guy had decided to come back to school to get a degree and the full college experience, which would be fine except when he snaps people's necks with his special forces moves when somebody fouls him hard.

5. The Ringer

We're pretty sure Adam Morrison doesn't go to college any more so we're still wondering why he's listed as one of the other team member's distant cousin from Brasil in a late minute substitution. However, true to his NBA career, he has a poor shooting night and finishes with 10 points.

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