October 31, 2009

Things I should probably know before flying

1. Never show up to the Spokane Airport four hours before your flight boards. You'll spend lots of time walking around the newsstand looking at copies of "MacLife" and wishing the world would explode. Macs can't right click!

2. Never pack all your bath supplies from home because apparently all you can pack is a ketchup-sized packet of shampoo. I will not be taking showers this week.

3. Finding that the airport bar is closed could be one of the worst feelings in the world. The best? Finding another airport bar open and serving at full capacity.

4. Side shots are the best.

5. People drinking at an airport bar aren't the same kind of people you're going to find at Walmart. Trust me on this one, it had more suits than a Men's Wearhouse.

6. Never ask security if it's okay for you to bring firecrackers on board the plane.

7. Short, young pilot hitting on the flight attendents makes you fear for your life.

8. Tall, old, experienced pilots that look like they could have flied some time in Vietnam... all the confidence in the world. And since he's older he's not going to get distracted while checking Facebook.

9. Starbucks rips you off in the airport and yet the coffee is still delicious.

10. and after all this... you'll still have two hours to wait for your flight to take off, because you showed up three hours early.

Reasons you're still single... Walmart security

You get asked by the Walmart cashier when you're checking out if he should be worried about you.

Keep in mind you're buying a plastic trident and two rolls of duct tape.

October 30, 2009

Why I must root for Montana

This week the Eastern Washington football program found out that the NCAA had lifted the post season ban on the Eagles. That's great, but as of right now EWU sits in fourth place in the Big Sky Conference with a 4-2 conference record.

Those two losses came against Montana (thanks to the refs) and Weber State (thanks to EWU forgetting they had a game to play). And because of those loses the best Eastern can hope for is an at large bid into the 16 team FCS playoff.

Montana currently sits in first with a 4-0 conference record and has a firm grip on the Big Sky Championship.

In second was is Weber State with a 5-1 conference record. That one loss came against Montana State.

Sitting in third place is Northern Arizona with a 4-1 conference record. Their loss came at the hands of non other than Montana.

Now comes the fun part and why I must go against every fiber of my being and root for the Montana Grizzlies.

If the Eagles and do their part and win out, then they would finish with a 6-2 conference record and an 8-3 overall record. Their other loss came from then ranked #10 California. But that won't be good enough for a Big Sky Championship. However, it would give Northern Arizona at least another conference loss.

However, this weekend Weber State meets Montana. And I will be rooting that Montana will take down the Wildcats. This would drop Weber State to 5-2.

And on November 14, Weber State and Northern Arizona will meet. Guaranteeing that one of these teams will get another conference loss. Which would mean that if everything above happened, Montana would win the Big Sky, and either Weber State or Northern Arizona would have three losses. The other team might only have two losses which would be what Eastern had as well.

If you aren't confused by all this, then what it means is that Eastern would be tied for 2nd in the Big Sky and if they were ranked high enough in the standings, they would get the "at large" bid for the playoffs.

So tomorrow, I will root for the Griz in a hope that they win the Big Sky and can get Weber State a loss.

Oh, and I will root that Eastern wins out. The Northern Rangers will be at Qwest Field tomorrow in our EWU jerseys and cheering louder than ever.


Reasons why you're still single... Kansas Jayhawk tattoo

Yes, that is a full back KU tattoo. I know they're ranked No.1 in the country but really?

(From Deadspin)

Epic Video: Brandon's Arrival

Today Brandon is coming to visit on the westside. Here's how he's getting here:

Hope it works!

Worst Hockey Jerseys Ever

The Bakersfield Condors have an interesting jersey night...

Friday night is for all of those "Smooth Criminals" out there looking to honor the "King of Pop." The Condors players will be playing their part during the game, sporting specialty jerseys which will be auctioned off throughout the night.

The night will include music and King of Pop themed promotions as well, and Condors players will even wear one white glove during the game, some of which will later be available for purchase. To top it off, everyone in the house is eligible to win one of five game-worn tribute jerseys that will be raffled off during the game.

Also, anybody with the name "Michael Jackson" or "Billie Jean" will receive free entry into the game by showing your ID.

I think minor-league sports just hit an all-time low.

October 29, 2009

Epic Video: How It All Began

Here's a flashback post from March 19, 2009. The Sounders FC first game. Hard to believe it's already playoff time.

The Northern Rangers post went like this:

Today marked a new era in Seattle sports history. The world's game came into the Emerald City as the Sounders FC began play against the New York Red Bulls.

The Northern Rangers were at this historic event. Here's how the day went:

21-year-old forward Fredy Montero scored two of the three Sounder goals. And he showed that he has amazing talent and was an excellent pickup from Columbia.

Lacey, Washington native Kasey Keller stood out as he made some spectacular saves throughout the game.

And one of the coolest events at the game was when the Sounders would score. Confetti was shot from the roof and it rained down onto the field and the crowd. By the third goal, the pitch was covered and the crowd was louder than ever.

Please note: My favorite part about this is watching the Northern Rangers videos now. I think the host has become much better and more comfortable. haha.

Epic Photo: Scarves Up! Playoff Style!

That's right ladies and gentlemen, the playoffs have returned to the Emerald City. Only wait, this time it is for soccer. The Seattle Sounders FC are playing the Houston Dynamo in tonights match-up at Qwest Field.

In honor of the game tonight, check out this amazing pumpkin that my buddy Jeff Ernst carved for his favorite team:

Click on the photo to make it larger.

Photo by Jeff Ernst/Bonney Lake.

Got an awesome photo you'd love to share? Send it to justsouthofnorth@gmail.com with your name, location and a short caption. And we'll host it as an epic photo if it truly is!

Gonzaga not in Top 25

Uh-oh Zag fans. No respect I tell you. No respect!

Gonzaga came in 34th, receiving 24 votes, in the ESPN/USA Today (coaches) preseason Top 25. Kansas is No. 1, followed by Michigan State (Gonzaga visits East Lansing on Nov. 17th).

Of the eight schools in the Maui Invitational, No. 26 Maryland, No. 30 Vanderbilt and GU were in the receiving votes category. Arizona, Wisconsin and Cincinnati didn’t receive one vote. Gonzaga also faces No. 8 Duke and No. 16 Oklahoma, as well as three other teams receiving votes (No. 27 Illinois, Wake Forest and Memphis).

Actually, I shudder to think was Eastern Washington's national ranking is.

Is anyone looking for a job?

Saw this on Craigslist, anyone interested?

Astronaut needed for experimental flight to Titan. I have been working on this project now for near 40 years and am afraid I'm no longer fit enough to go.
My secret space craft is the result of my professional experience and imagination while serving the U.S. military in advanced aeronautics as a scientist.
The craft harnesses a revolutionary propulsion system and its fuselage is fabricated with the most advanced material. While considerably safe,
I am certain you will make it safely to Titan but there will not be enough fuel to get home. This is for someone unique that has always wanted to see the universe
first-hand and has perhaps a terminal view on life here at home. Here's your shot at romantic history.

Must be:
-physically fit.
-mentally sound.
-over the age of 18.
-a dreamer.
-a believer.
-not afraid of heights.
-not afraid of extreme conditions such as speed, pressure, heat, etc.
-no taller than 5'10 and relatively slim.
-good eye-sight & hearing.
-manual dexterity (although the craft is largely cpu controlled).
-OK in cramped conditions for long periods of time.

Who wants to go to Titan?

Football fans... you apparently like baseball

I wouldn't normally talk about TV ratings, but I've heard meathead football fan say that baseball sucks and that the World Series doesn't matter so many times in the past seven days that I'm just about to ask them to recite the depth chart of their favorite team and watch their head implode after the name the quarterback and can't think of anyone else.

So meat head football fans, here are the ratings of last night's World Series game between the Yankees and Phillies.

The World Series brought a big audience to FOX Wednesday night -- no surprise for a matchup of teams from two of the 10 biggest TV markets in the country.

Game 1 of the Philadelphia Phillies-New York Yankees series drew 17.8 million viewers and a 10.9 rating/17 share in households for FOX.

Meanwhile, they're sending free Rams jerseys to anyone that watches St. Louis games. Apparently they've sent thirty out already.

We've harnessed the power of the sun

So does this mean I'll never have to recharge my iPod battery again?

"A key component of a $10 billion nuclear fusion plant is vintage 2002 Indonesian coconut-shell charcoal. After a 20-year search, German researchers discovered that the coconut-shell charcoal is the best medium for 'adsorbing' waste byproducts sucked out of the thermonuclear reaction's vacuum chamber. In what will be the first fusion power facility that's commercially viable, magnetic fields will heat hydrogen isotopes to over 150 million degrees Centigrade. (Essentially, the super-hot plasma creates artificial stars.) As the article points out, 'It's not quite a Starship warp drive, but it does harness the power of the sun.'"

(From Slashdot)

It's alright... we can come out of our bomb shelters

Ladies and gentlemen, the recession is over! Well kinda...

Reporting from Washington - The U.S. economy expanded at an annual rate of 3.5% in the third quarter, unofficially marking the end of the worst recession since World War II.

The growth reported today by the Commerce Department for the three months that ended Sept. 30 snapped four straight quarters of economic contraction and was driven largely by a rebound in consumer spending supported by the federal stimulus package and improved business spending that included a revival of home building.

The increase in the gross domestic product, the total value of goods and services produced in the country, is the evidence most economists have said is needed to declare victory against the recession.

But today's preliminary report doesn't mean the economy is in good shape. Its expansion in the third quarter only partly offsets its dramatic 6% decline last fall and winter. A number of forecasters are predicting weaker expansion in the fourth quarter and in the early part of 2010.

I'm not exactly doing cartwheels over the news but this is certainly a better place to be than say last year when the sky was falling. The main thing with these numbers is that they could easily dip back down and we could see a second leg to the recession if certian things aren't done to the economy. It's still weak in several sectors and I would assume that the average American's confidence in it isn't very high.

(This is from Political Burnout)

Epic Photo: I know this is old news but...


By the way, if you want to read a funny follow up story on the Steve Phillips boinking chubby ESPN workers, here's a nugget on the MLB 2k9 video game and what they're going to have to do with Phillips' color commentary track. Whoops.

October 28, 2009

Blog of Awesomeness

Today I was introduced to the second greatest blog in the world. (JustSON would of course be the best). And that is Fail Blog.

Absolutely hilarious. It is full of actual photos and videos that people took. Stuff like this:

NBA vs. college basketball

With the NBA kicking off it's season last night, I'd like to rip on a certain kind of sports fan that bugs the heck out of me. That would be the "I don't watch NBA basketball because is sucks, I only watch college basketball" fan.

First off, how can you say the NBA sucks when you don't even watch the games? That's like saying that you've never eaten ham because you've never tasted it.

And secondly, how does a lower-tier (college basketball) have a higher quality of basketball? Sure there might be more passion from the fans (something else that might be debatable if you go to Boston or Portland), but have you watched college basketball lately? Not only do the best players leave in about a year in school meaning you can never develop an attachment to a team before the stars are gone and the team unity gets all screwed up. The end of the games usually turn into free-throwing contests and while there's plenty of fundamentals (the WNBA), there's not a whole lot of flair.

The main digs against the NBA - no defense (not true) and the players are thugs (absolutely ridiculous and racist) are horrible arguments. Anyone who's watched the league in the past three years knows what I'm talking about. I'll agree that the regular season is much too long, but every game holds a slew of storylines since every player came from somewhere and was the best player from somewhere. You can find some nugget of interest in any NBA game.

In the college? Sure there's Duke and UNC but the only thing fans really latch onto is the school names rather than the players. The storylines and background of the sport aren't nearly as developed since there's so much turnover. Nothing wrong with rooting for just the team, but you'd be kidding yourself if you think the individual players don't matter. Dwight Howard vs. Lebron, Dwayne Wade vs. Kobe ... ect. ect. very interesting matchups.

While I do love college basketball during March, to say that it's a better product than the NBA is short-sighted and ridiculous.

Epic Photo: Microsoft has a strange marketing strategy

At least nerds and their graphics cards are keeping the economy afloat

(From Tech Rave)

While it may not be a sign that the economy is recovering quickly, it's good to see some industries bounce back from the abyss. The graphics processor market is humming along nicely since people like cards that make their video games render cool explosions and effects.

Third quarter graphics processors shipments jumped 21.2 percent sequentially after an initial rise in Q2 2009, according to the latest numbers from Jon Peddie Research. Overall 119.45 million units were shipped during the period, exceeding the record 111 million units that were shipped in the year-ago quarter, as computer vendors built up inventory in preparation for the Windows 7 launch.

As usual, JPR's report includes market share data and covered both discrete and integrated graphics -- thus as expected Intel continued to hold the top spot with 52.7% of the market, bolstered by its installed base of integrated graphics chipsets. Nvidia was second with 24.9%, followed by a closing in AMD with 19.8%.

Noticing a trend in the tech market? Everyone is making some profit. Good news...

Epic Photo: World Series starts tonight

Just thought I'd give the Yankees a little shot before the series.

October 27, 2009

Commuting Crusade: Backflips

Everyday I drive down Auburn Way on my way home from work. And everyday I see a vagabond standing on a certain corner with a sign.

Now it's never the same vagabond, but rather a different one each day.

However today this guy had the best sign. It read:

"$1 equals 1 backflip."

Unfortunately I was the fifth car in line and couldn't get to him. Otherwise I'd spend a dollar to see some guy do a backflip.

I'm easily entertained.

Outdoor Photo of the Week: Fall

Alright, I know that I have been slacking lately on the Outdoor Photo of the Week, but the truth is...well the truth is just that. I've been busy and therefore slacking. Sorry guys. But no more! So, in a special Tuesday edition of the Outdoor Photo of the Week, here's the section back in all its Fall glory.

The last rose of the summer hangs on for a bit longer.

The neighbor's leaves piling up.

Maple leaves have taken over the back yard.

Photos by Al Knopik.

Click on the photos to make it larger.

Think you've got a great outdoor photo? Want to see it hosted on Just South of North? Send your submissions to justsouthofnorth@gmail.com.

Please include your name, a short caption about the photo (date, location, and what makes it special) and your location.

Check back each Sunday for a new Outdoor Photo of the Week.

CNN last in the ratings

News giant CNN is having some issues with competiting networks. In fact, they're losing to them all in the ratings race, including their own sister network HLN. Execs can't be too thrilled about this one.

CNN, which invented the cable news network more than two decades ago, will hit a new competitive low with its prime-time programs in October, finishing fourth – and last – among the cable news networks with the audience that all the networks rely on for their advertising.

The official monthly numbers will be finalized at 4 p.m. Monday and will include results from Friday. CNN executives conceded that will not change the competitive standing for the month. CNN will still be last in prime time.

That means CNN’s programs were behind not only Fox News and MSNBC, but even its own sister network HLN (formerly Headline News.) Three of its four shows between 7 and 11 p.m. finished fourth and last among the cable news networks. That was the first time CNN had finished that poorly with its prime-time shows.

Maybe Anderson Cooper could start hosting "Who's the daddy?" episodes like Maury Povich or start yelling a berating guests on his show? Hey, it works for Bill O'Reilly!

I'm guessing Sciencetology has some explaining to do

(This is posted over at Media Chow)

Signs your religon might have some issues...

(1) It was founded by a science fiction writer.

(2) It's most famous member is considered crazy and jumps on Oprah's couch.

(3) It's convicted of fraud.

It would be safe to say that Sciencetology has some issues...

PARIS (AP) - A Paris court convicted the Church of Scientology of fraud and fined it more than euro600,000 ($900,000) on Tuesday, but stopped short of banning the group's activities.

The group's French branch said it would appeal the verdict.

The court convicted the Church of Scientology's French office, its library and six of its leaders of organized fraud. Investigators said the group pressured members into paying large sums of money for questionable financial gain and used "commercial harassment" against recruits.

The group was fined euro400,000 ($600,000) and the library euro200,000. Four of the leaders were given suspended sentences of between 10 months and two years. The other two were given fines of euro1,000 and euro2,000.
Prosecutors had urged that the group be disbanded in France and fined euro2 million. A law that was briefly on the books this year prevented the court from going so far as to disband the French branch of Scientology in Tuesday's verdict—though it could have taken the lesser step of shutting down its operations.

On the other hand, you can earn eternal salvation by paying off that fine if you choose to join the church. Woo hoo!

I'm holding a post-season eligible party

This is AWESOME news. How bout them Eags!

The NCAA has overturned its original decision to ban Eastern Washington University’s football team from postseason play, making the Eagles eligible for the Football Championship Subdivision playoffs, should they qualify.

EWU athletic director Bill Chaves confirmed the NCAA’s decision early Tuesday morning, adding that the year-long probation and self-imposed penalties – including a reduction of two scholarship equivalencies and one assistant coach – that resulted from a series of infractions that occurred under former head coach Paul Wulff will remain in effect.

The Eagles, who are 5-3 overall and 4-2 in the Big Sky Conference, will travel to Seattle this weekend to take on league rival Portland State (2-6, 1-4) at Qwest Field. Tuesday’s announcement clears the way for EWU to earn the Big Sky’s automatic berth that goes to the regular-season champion, but the Eagles are currently behind Montana, Weber State and Northern Arizona in the BSC standings, with only two league games remaining.

They still have a shot at the post-season, it's slim but they can probably earn an at-large bid. This season just got a whoooole lot more interesting.

Reasons why you're still single... you watch the Golden Girls

Apparently since it's the only programming that Lifetime has (that and movies about women and their abusive husbands/women and their creepy husband that abducts their kids/women that get abducted by aliens), this show is extremely easy to find on cable.

And due to this, you watch it all the time. By yourself. Without a significant other. And you wonder if Blanche will ever find the man of her dreams.

(That Dorthy is a real skank...)

Lessons in bad money management...

Here's what not to do with your money...

A former college friend of Brandon's -
Spend all your financial aid for college in the spring quarter on a flat screen TV that ends up getting pawned off anyway after you lose your job for not working, get evicted for not paying rent because you spent all your money and wasting the rest of your money on pot.

Casey -
Ooooo! A bright green Seahawks jersey for 80 bucks? I'm in!

Darth Vader -
Let's put half the Galactic Empire's resources into a ship as big as a moon, only let's forget to cover up the exhaust vents. Nobody is going to find those.

Seattle Mariners -
Ritchie Sexson! Carlos Silva! These are can't miss guys!

Brandon -
Let's see I have 200 bucks to spare this month, I'll spend 50 of that on lattes, 50 of that on a Nintendo Wii game I'll play once, 30 dollars on Red Lobster (I don't regret this)... ooooo, is that an original copy of Waterworld starring Kevin Costner? I have to buy that....

Antoine Walker -
(Courtesy of Deadspin) Well, since he bounced about $1 million worth of checks in Las Vegas you can chalk a healthy portion of that up to gambling losses. But that doesn't explain it all way. Walker was a generous friend and teammate. A little too generous. A Boston Globe investigation into the former Celtic's lavish lifstyle includes free spending, not just on himself—in 2002, he had a new suit made for every day of the playoffs so he wouldn't have to wear the same one twice—but on those in his very large orbit. Teammates say he routinely picked up giant dinner tabs on the road or would hire limos to take everyone out on the town. According to his mother, at one point Walker was financially supporting seventy of his friends and relatives.

October 26, 2009

Epic Photo: Belly fun

You'd think that having a hailstorm and a bit of rain would prevent people at EWU's Woodward Field this weekend from doing this.

Reasons why you're still single... Chewie Shirt

You own this Chewie shirt.

Do I really need to go into detail as to why you're still single?

Or perhaps should I also mention that you also have an alternative Chewie t-shirt that you sometimes forgets to wash, just in case this one is unavaliable.

You're more likely to run into Harrison Ford and get his autograph than come up with any meaningful relationship with a female. Hopefully you enjoy the rest of your days making reproductions of the Death Star with Legos.

Epic Video: The Oakland Raiders' secret weapon

Things have gotten so bad for the Oakland Raiders, they're using pigeons now.

Epic Photo: This is what Casey does in his spare time

Since he can't actually afford an Xbox 360 and Call of Duty 4, he just makes Lego gun guys and pretends to act out the game. It's actually pretty weird if you ask me.

This just in: racists are also stupid

So a group of college students from St. Louis were enjoying Chicago when they came across this bar that is probably going to lose a lot of business.

Six African-American men in the group were denied entry to the bar last weekend. Student Regis Nurayi says the bar's manager told them their jeans were too baggy.

But Murayi didn't buy it. So he switched jeans with a shorter, white student.

The white student, who now had very baggy jeans, was let in, and Murayi was still kept out. The students held a protest in front of Mother's last Sunday, and there's a meeting about this issue in St. Louis on Monday.

Apparently the white student got through the baggy jean screening process! Drat! Racists... got to love them and their propensity to not have a job and date their sisters. (Although I'm guessing the owners of this bar weren't actually dating their sisters but rather a bi-product of somebody dating their sister)

And I'm sure Fox News will make a statement that the bar was "taken out of context."

October 25, 2009

BCS Rankings out, Boise St. drops down

Boise State fans can't be happy after blowing out Hawaii 54-9 and then dropping from fourth to seventh in the BCS rankings. However, maybe they should have scheduled more than Oregon and some non-conference high school games.

... and the Trojans are No. 5, they could still sneak back into the national championship picture.

7Boise State7-0
11Georgia Tech7-1
12Penn State7-1
13Virginia Tech5-2
14Oklahoma State6-1
17Ohio State6-2
19Miami (FL)5-2
21West Virginia6-1
22South Carolina6-2
23Notre Dame5-2

To those who hate Bill Belichick

That's his girlfriend. Yeah, he's doing pretty well for himself.

College Football Roundup - Boise St. rolls

#4 Boise State 54, Hawaii 9 - At least the warriors got to stay in Hawaii while the Broncos went back to Idaho. I'd say that's a pretty good trade off. By the way, does the WAC have one of the best road games in all of college football with Hawaii? That's got to be a big recruiting hook for all the other schools. How does the Pac-10 compete... "hey, we'll be going to Pullman!"

#1 Florida 29, Mississippi St. 19 -
Here we go with the No. 1 team starting to play closer and closer games down the stretch against blah teams. I mean if you're  the gators, how do you get up for Miss St? Start a twitter war with the team?

#6 Iowa 15, Michigan St. 13 - Iowa is 8-0 for the first time in team history, and the state of Iowa is also revelant for the first time in history.

Oregon St. 36, #7 USC 42 - What would have been more fun would have been a blowout and the question of Pete Carroll scoring F-U touchdowns on the Beavers for the 2008 upset loss to them.

#11 Oregon 43, Washington 19 - The dream season just continues for the Huskies...

Idaho 45, Nevada 70 - Yikes! Apparently Idaho needed to implement a zone defense and crash in on the guards at the three-point line.

Eastern Washington 35, Montana St. 24 - Montana fans cry tonight in their trailers after this loss.

Montana 45, Sacramento St. 30 - Lame...

October 24, 2009

Reasons why you're still single... Star Trek: TNG

You got in an argument with someone over what was better: Star Trek or Star Trek: TNG. After four hours of intense point/counterpoint you tried to solve things once in for all by simulating a battle between the Constitution-class U.S.S. Enterprise and the Galaxy-class U.S.S. Enterprise-D.

October 23, 2009

I just learned a little too much about Jonathan Papelbon's locker room rituals

Found this little nugget about Jonathan Papelbon this morning, from a Red Sox beat reporter...

The Yankees were in town and players were scarce, save for a few pitchers sitting on the black leather couches assembled in the middle of the room. Manny Delcarmen was one, Clay Buchholz was another. Jonathan Papelbon, in practice gear, was around too, fiddling with the DVD player hooked up to a nearby flat-screen television.

He was up to something, I could tell. When he popped in a disc he made a Bill Murray face. (If you've seen Papelbon's mound stare downs, you know it probably isn't easy for him to be deadpan.)

... it shouldn't have surprised me when I noticed the Hustler Video logo pop up on the TV. It did, though. I figured I was seeing things. The title screen appeared. It looked like an SI swimsuit edition video, with lettering similar to the magazine's masthead. Oh, I though. Bikinis. This won't be too weird. Then the actresses came on screen.


What I saw that day defied physics. It was fantastically filthy. From where I was standing, about 10 feet away, it looked like an open fire hydrant. In retrospect, I should've known. There's a reason they named the movie Squirts Illustrated.

(Can you imagine Papelbon asking a clubbie to make a porno run? Yeah, I need three tins of Skoal mint and the widescreen edition of Squirts Illustrated. Here's 100 bucks.)


And where else on earth would you have grown men looking over the shoulder of a man watching porn? A baseball locker room. That's where.

Now that being said... here's what you should know about Papelbon...

Curt Schilling once said of Papelbon in Sports Illustrated, "He's not exactly a charter member of Mensa," and many baseball fans would probably agree with the assessment. I prefer the characterization provided by Esquire's Chris Jones, who recently wrote, "Papelbon's not stupid. He just hasn't acquired professional mechanisms, an understanding of consequence: He says all the dumb things most of us probably think but keep back."

Well I mean, at least he isn't fat like Carlos Silva.

Purple and Gold Day

What do you think they declare for the Washington State University homecoming? Run and Hide Day? The Season Isn't Over Yet Day? Awwww.....Crap Day?

In celebration of the University of Washington's Homecoming weekend, and the football game against Oregon, Gov. Chris Gregoire has proclaimed that Friday, Oct. 23, will be "Purple and Gold Day'' in the state of Washington. (Yes, apparently even in the Palouse).

Gregoire is a 1971 UW grad and has issued a "Purple and Gold'' proclamation each of the last three years.

"The University of Washington has a rich history of academic excellence, groundbreaking research, winning athletics, and life-changing innovation,'' the proclamation reads. "I urge all citizens to don purple and gold in honor of this world-class institution.''

Grumpy journalist complains about not getting Microsoft press releases

Stop the presses! We've got a news story on our hands as PC Mag's John Dvorak has thrown down the gauntlet - he's going after the evil giant software company known as Microsoft. You may have heard of them because they're trying to take over the world. Dvorak reveals some of the horrible things that the company has done...

I haven't received a single personal note from a Microsoft PR person for roughly four years. Instead, the company has taken to sending out very lengthy and somewhat boring cheerleader-type consumer newsletters to the media in an attempt to keep us informed. It's essentially spam with lots of links and no real compelling content, which seems to be the work of someone who has recently finished taking English as a Second Language courses.

Somewhere along the line, Microsoft apparently decided that it only wants to deal with those amenable suckers who will give it a pass on everything—or perhaps the company has just given up any hopes of getting favorable press. Whatever the case may be, the Microsoft of 15 years ago did a much better job managing the media than it does today. The shift signals more than a simple annoyance—Microsoft's carelessness with the media seems to represent an overall careless that permeates throughout the entire company.

You haven't received a press release?!?! Heaven forbid you have to actually research something yourself or go onto these blogs which are already stuffed with info on windows. You want an article hand delivered to your inbox so you can rewrite it and collect a paycheck. Ladies and gentlemen, journalism!

Ambulances start charging fat people

Another reason not to be fat... ambulances are charging you extra for hauling your fatty butt to the hospital.

The memory still bothers Ken Keller: A panicked ambulance crew had a critically ill patient, but the man weighed more than 1,000 pounds (454 kilograms) and could not fit inside the vehicle. And the stretcher wasn't sturdy enough to hold him.

The crew offered an idea to Keller, who was then an investigator with the Kansas Board of Emergency Medical Services. Could they use a forklift to load the man — bed and all — onto a flatbed truck? Keller agreed: There was no other choice.

"I'm sure it was terribly embarrassing to be in his own bed, riding on the back of a flatbed with straps tying him down, going to the hospital, and then have a forklift at the hospital unload him," Keller said.

As the nation battles the obesity crisis, ambulance crews are trying to improve how they transport extremely heavy patients, who become significantly more difficult to move as they surpass 350 pounds (159 kilograms). And caring for such patients is expensive, requiring costly equipment and extra workers, so some ambulance companies have started charging higher fees for especially overweight people.

The move to modify ambulances is just the latest effort to accommodate plus-sized patients. Some hospitals already offer specially designed beds, wheelchairs, walkers and even commodes.

Ambulance companies say it's time for insurance providers, Medicaid and Medicare, or patients themselves to begin paying the added costs, which are cutting into their razor-thin profit margins.

Here's an idea... we should stop treating obesity like its a disease and look at ourselves in the mirror. It's our own fault and people should have to pay extra for it. Once these lazy individuals realize that it's tough being fat, they might work a little extra on the treadmill instead of at McDonalds.

How do you get to be 1,000 POUNDS??!?!

Ugly things from Canada

We love our neighbors from the North but sometimes... they make some poor choices...

October 22, 2009

New Features at JustSON

Tomorrow, I know many of you will be looking for the Friday Night Lights JustSON edition. But I will be leaving town for the weekend.

The reason:

The forces of JustSON will be uniting. I'm heading east to kick it with Brandon in Spokane/Cheney for the weekend.

With our power combined, that town won't know what hit it.

Also, on an important note, we're going to be starting a new section here at JustSoN. I'm not sure on the name yet, maybe, "Track the Fatty." Or something like that.

For you see, I was once in great shape (aka this summer). But now I've had over an hour commute to work and over an hour commute home from work. So I sit on my butt for 10 - 12 hours a day. Oh, and I eat. So now I look like this guy:

But I just got a new place, so I'll be able to start going to the gym again. Also, I'll be biking to work and the gym. It's time to get in shape.

So this new section will feature yours truly as I get back into shape. I'll update on how the progress is going and hope to motivate some of you readers to get in shape as well.

Look for this new section to be popping up starting November.

Until then, over the mountains I go!

Epic Photo: Funny Pope

I'm Catholic, but this photo still cracks me up. I feel like he's going...

"Hey Chuck, look behind you... BOOO!!! Haha, got you. I'm the man. I'm the Pope actually, and I just totally owned you right there."

The Silverdome is for sale!

When the NFL's Detroit Lions moved out of the Silverdome in 2002, one of the largest stadiums in the world suddenly lost its purpose. The city of Pontiac continued to use it for events but I can imagine that the 80,000 seat stadium was probably more of a headache than a blessing.

They put it up for sale and nobody bit. Now it's up for auction with no minimum bid.

That's right, you could throw a dollar at the Silverdome and if nobody else bids, you would be the owner of this mammoth monument to the waste of American professional sports.

To walk into the huge structure that is the Silverdome can still take your breath away. With a seating capacity of 80,311, its still one of the largest in the world. The Silverdome was home to the National Football League’s Detroit Lions, the National Basketball Association’s Detroit Pistons and the United States Football League’s Michigan Panthers. It has seen major events such as Super Bowl 16 and the 1994 FIFA World Cup.

The dome established the largest indoor attendance record for a sporting event when Hulk Hogan met Andre the Giant in the World Wrestling Entertainment’s WrestleMania III. The Lion's franchise moved from the Silverdome in 2002 and while the Silverdome has had periodic and varied use since then, its owner, the City of Pontiac has chosen to auction the dome and the land it is on in an effort to stimulate development in their city.

Holy cow, how could you not bid on this thing? I think I'm throwing down a twenty for it...

October 21, 2009

Pop Warner parents and coaches continue to show they're insane

NOTE TO YOUTH PARENTS AND COACHES: Stop living you're dream of being somehow involved in the NFL through Youth Sports. You will never come close. You are untalented, you are not smart and you lack judgement. That's why you had kids so early. That's why you work at a job you hate. That's why your only release is your kid's sporting events. That's why you blame other parents rather than yourself. Have you ever heard of a positive story coming out of Youth Football other than parents fighting and kids crying? I think not.

A Pop Warner parent has been assaulted by the coach of his son's Pop Warner team after they showed up late to practice. And no, it wasn't Tom Cable.

Reynolds has been suspended from the league in connection with the Friday incident, and further action against him, including the possibility of being banned from coaching in the league, will be taken up in a Pop Warner board meeting in the off-season, officials said. His former team, in the "C" category, was led by assistant coaches in a game on Sunday. Reynolds had coached in the league for at least three consecutive years before taking off several seasons and returning to coaching this year.

Both men accuse the other of being the aggressor, of throwing the first punch after they walked side-by-side from the practice field to a nearby secluded area to resolve their dispute, which started at 5:37 p.m, when VonKahle brought his son late to practice, a police report indicates.

Reynolds told the 12-year-old boy to run laps as a consequence. In his statement to police, VonKahle, 48, said he responded to Reynolds by saying, "If anybody needs to run laps, it should be you, you fat [expletive]."

Considering this stuff wouldn't happen in big boy football (you know football thats real and football that people care about), I think the term "crazy" or "a sad pathetic lifeform" might be the best way to describe this coach.

Ah youth sports, keep on trucking.

You know winter is coming when...

1. Casey thinks twice about wearing his Speedo to the pool. For some reason he likes imitating 80-year olds and wears a Speedo even though nobody wants him to wear a Speedo because it scares small children.

2. When you wake up in the morning and look outside, it looks like "The Mist" or "Scary Creepy-arse Fog" or "This is what the Earth is going to look like in 50 years thanks to pollution." Seriously, Spokane turns into that creepy town from "Silient Hill" after October in the monring. Somebody should study this and make sure the town isn't built on some sort of Indian Burial Ground.

3. More Canadians start popping up everywhere.

4. Christmas decorations... in the store... everywhere. Wait until the music starts and you'll be freaking out like Bill O'Reilly taping a bad "Inside Edition" promo.

5. Blue. Balls. CRAP!

6. Even the Spokies are starting to dress up like the climbers who summited Everest. (On a side note: Do Spokies have some sort of special thick skin, because have you seen how cold it gets outside in Spokane AND these people are still out there. You'd think they could just find a foreclosed hourse or burn the falling dollar for heat.)

7. Ultimate Frisbee guy dissapears.

8. Drunk skier guy that brags about being a hill pro appears. Still unable to pick up women.

9. Malt Liquor becomes popular again. People just want to numb their senses and this glorified engine grease is the best way to do it.

10. Les Schwab employees start getting that "1,000 yard" stare because they're getting swamped with a rush not unlike the Isrealites leaving Egypt.

Epic Video: I don't own a DS, but this guy makes me want to throw it away

Best game review. Ever.

The Big Sky admits the refs did a bad job

The Big Sky Conference has admitted that... basically their refs f-ed up during the EWU-Montana game last weekend. Awesome, I'm sure that will be reflected in the win/loss column.

“The officiating in Saturday’s EWU-UM game was not up to the standards we expect and require,’’ said Big Sky Conference Commissioner Doug Fullerton. “Our officials are evaluated on every play of every game by observers in the stadium and by independent film evaluators - many with NFL experience - following the games. There are consequences for officials after they are examined.’’

Several plays were reviewed by the conference, its director of football officials Doug Toole, and independent observers. The league found two calls against Eastern Washington particularly troubling.

In the fourth quarter, an Eastern Washington player was called for a late hit out of bounds. The penalized player, however, was illegally blocked in the back by a Montana player, propelling him in to a Montana player out of bounds.

Late in the third quarter an Eastern Washington wide receiver was called for unsportsmanlike conduct as he slowed down on his way to the end zone. His actions, however, did not warrant the penalty.

“We continue to examine at least four more plays,’’ said Big Sky Conference Commissioner Doug Fullerton. “We don’t normally comment on officiating, nor do we plan to regularly do so in the future. However, there are cases where it is warranted, and this is one.’’

That really helps out Aaron Boyce, who had his collegiate career ended when he ruptured his Achilles Tendon in the Montana game. Thanks Big Sky! Now stop handing Montana the conference trophy under the table.

Epic Video: Cougar Barbie

Man, has Barbie ever fallen on hard times...

October 20, 2009

Epic Photo: Shawn Kemp spotted in Walmart

He impregnated that woman soon afterwards.


Epic Photo: The kung-fu family

Is that Dwight Schrute?

Found this on Akward Family Photos.

Another sign the journalism industry is going to hell

Another sign that newspapers are quickly falling off the face of the earth: the New York Times is cutting more newsroom jobs. Apparently the janitor and bagel guy will be left.

The New York Times plans to eliminate 100 newsroom jobs — about 8 percent of the total — by year’s end, offering buyouts to union and non-union employees, and resorting to layoffs if it cannot get enough people to leave voluntarily, the paper announced on Monday.

The program mirrors one carried out in the spring of 2008, when the paper erased 100 positions in its newsroom, though other jobs were created, so the net reduction was smaller. That round of cuts included some layoffs of journalists — about 15 to 20, though The Times would not disclose the actual figure — which was the first time in memory that had happened.

Not a good sign for up-and-coming journalists who see the holy grail of newspapers shed off more jobs as the sagging economy continues to hit bottom lines.

October 19, 2009

Video game room

I saw this today on the Puget Sound Business Journal. I'm thinking I smell a Northern Rangers.

A $4 million game room is opening at the Lincoln Square development in Bellevue, adjacent to the existing Lucky Strike Lanes & Lounge.

The “Power Play” facility will consist of 18,000 square feet of video games, with a capacity for 200 game players at one time, according to the developer.

Before 10 p.m., the game room will be open to all ages and after 10 p.m., only those 21 or older will be allowed inside, according to the developer. The game room will include “Sega Outrun 2 Super Deluxe,” which the developer said is one of only 16 in the world and the only one in Washington state, and a “Laser Chamber” room where contestants try to avoid breaking the laser beams.

The BCS Rankings are out!

We're throwing out the AP Poll now and replacing it with the BCS poll because it's obviously the one that matters. The first poll shows Boise St. sitting at No. 4, meaning that they're in the discussion for the national championship game. Wow

BCS Poll
1. Florida (6-0)
2. Alabama (7-0)
3. Texas (6-0)
4. Boise State (6-0)
5. Cincinnati (6-0)
6. Iowa (7-0)
7. USC (5-1)
8. Texas Christian (6-0)
9. LSU (5-1)
10. Miami (Fla,) (5-1)
11. Oregon (5-1)
12. Georgia Tech (6-1)
13. Penn State (6-1)
14. Virginia Tech (5-2)
15. Oklahoma State (5-1)
16. Brigham Young (6-1)
17. Houston (5-1)
18. Utah (5-1)
19. Ohio State (5-2)
20. Pittsburgh (6-1)
21. Wisconsin (5-2)
22. Arizona (4-2)
23. West Virginia (5-1)
24. South Carolina (5-2)
25. Kansas (5-1)

Don't forget that USC is still up there very high and could swoop in with just one loss. Oregon is within striking range as well. Keep in mind that both Texas and Florida/Alabama could fall out of those top positions very easily. They all play in tough conferences, and the Gators and Crimson Tide would meet one another if they both win out. Meaning somebody loses. 

The hair of Elvis

In this file photo, a clump of Elvis Presley’s hair, given to Gary Pepper as president of the Tankers Fan Club to give to Elvis fans, is one of over 200 items in The Gary Pepper Collection of Elvis Presley Memorabilia at Leslie Hindman Auctioneers, in Chicago. The clump of hair was sold for $15,000 on Sunday. (AP Photo/M. Spencer Green)

Saw this on Huckleberries and I am extremely grossed out. 

Reasons why you're still single... you didn't take the money and run

"Why did I stay another year? Why did I stay another year? Damn Damn Damn."

Seattle is not optimistic about the chances of their football team

After yesterday's 27-3 loss to the Arizona Cardinals, the Seattle media is less than thrilled about their Seahawks. Example...

For the second season in a row, the Seattle Seahawks aren't going to the playoffs.

Forget all of the optimism at draft time last April. Forget the undefeated preseason. And the pronouncements that last season's 4-12 finish was an aberration and that this season would be resurgent.

Forget the idea that the new offensive system will fit perfectly with the Seahawks' personnel.

One-cut-and-go has become one-cut-and-no.

And forget the ideas that the defense would be more aggressive and that the unprecedented injury jinx that stalked this team last season couldn't possibly happen two seasons in a row.

It has.

Oh boy, there's nothing more cutting than a newspaper column where the writer just starts throwing one-sentence statements down on the paper and then using two-word sentences for dramatic effect. Never ceases to be overused.

It's wonderful.

Sitting at 2-4, there's not a whole lot you can be happy about if you're a Seahawks fan, except that you're better than the St. Louis Rams, who almost got taken over by the GOP. Other then that though, it looks like the town is throwing in the white towel six games into the season. Yikes.

Montana Grizzlies coach is un-American and a hater of freedom

Well, this just makes me hate Montana even more.

It started when the Kaimin, UM's student paper, published an investigation on an alleged assault by two players. Coach Bobby Hauck, a gaping vagina of the highest order, made his displeasure known in his press conferences.

At a recent weekly news conference, a Kaimin reporter asked Hauck whether he was going to continue rotating quarterbacks.

"You want something from me now?" replied Hauck. "You've got to be kidding me."

A Missoulian sportswriter immediately followed up with the same question, to which Hauck provided an answer.

At the following week's news conference, the Kaimin reporter again asked a question - this one on how the Grizzly defense would defend against the speed of an opposing running back.

Hauck's reply: "I'll give you this, you're persistent. Who's next?"

Awww pwoor little Haucky, things not going your way? Maybe there's a reason he's in Montana - he can't stand media criticism nor can he keep his players under control. Sorry bud, you can't expect everybody to treat you like a god in Missoula.

Faced with this stonewalling, the paper did what they had to do. For the homecoming Gameday publication, which usually profiles a Grizzly player, they ran a feature on a coach for the opposing Cal Poly.

Awesome, I may send a guest commentary to the paper after this.

Oh and after looking at the eGriz.com forum posts, the normal Montana fan

(a) doesn't give a rats ass about freedom of the press.
(b) probably would like to see their football players run the paper.
(c) think that everybody should bow down to the awesomeness of the Griz football team.

Good God they're delusional.

Epic Photo: My football self-esteem just collapsed.


Why did the Tennessee Titans even show up to their game against New England. I'm sure a high school team could have given them a better fight.


October 18, 2009

Epic Video: Dude Perfect

I saw these guys in an interview today on the news. They are amazing! And they also do this for charity.

WARNING: These shots are 100% real.

Seattle, are you ready for the playoffs

With a 3-2 victory over Kansas City on the road, the Seattle Sounders wrapped up a playoff spot. That's right, Seattle will once again host postseason sports - something that has seemed to escape its grasp the past couple of years.

On the Seattle Times blog, here are some things that make this season unique for FC -

-First expansion team since Chicago 1998 to make the playoffs in year one.
-Won U.S. Open Cup in first season.
-Had four All-Stars.
-Led league in attendance, by far. 

 Word was that the celebration by the team was subdued due to their performance against Kansas City.

"There was an appropriate level of celebrating and knowing OK, this part of the job is over but the next part of it starts tomorrow."

The team will pick up the tab on "one or two drinks." Some players will be going to the Seahawks game tomorrow after the team lands in Seattle.

Said unidentified person of the match: "It was one of those games where I was nervous because we weren't finishing our chances. That usually comes back to bite you in the butt."

Wow, for just wrapping up a playoff spot, this is a very business-like approach from the team like they expect a lot more from themselves... like a championship? :D

College Football Round-up: Notre Dame fans

#6 USC 34, #25 Notre Dame 27 -
Charlie Weis should be fired! Losing to the best college football program in America is simply inexcusable! This is ridiculous! We like to overreact to every little thing! We're Notre Dame Football fans!

#5 Boise St. 28, Tulsa 21 - You know, I'm sick of seeing these big conference schools loading up their schedule with cupcakes, barely squeking by them and then making it to a BCS bowl. Simply unfair. I'm glad a mid-major team is finally doing the same. Take that big schools!

#8 Cincinnati 34, #21 South Florida 17 - With the Bengals also having  a good season, Cincinnati is the center of the football universe. More proof that the center of it must be a black hole.

Arkansas 20, #1 Florida 23 - Difference between Florida and Oklahoma: the Gators actually come through in tight games.

#22 South Carolina 6, #2 Alabama 20 - Difference between Alabama and Oklahoma: the Crimson Tide much better.

#20 Oklahoma 13, #3 Texas 16 - I rest my case.

#4 Virginia Tech 23, #19 Georgia Tech 28 - Well ACC, it was fun while it lasted, enjoy not being revelant in the national title hunt.

#7 Ohio State 18, Purdue 26 - Ditto for the Big Ten.

#11 Iowa 20, Wisconsin 10 - Iowa is undefeated at 7-0? WHHOOOOAAAAAH! That wont last but I mean, it's cool that they ripped off the Steelers' jerseys.

Texas Tech 31, #15 Nebraska 10 - Somewhere, Casey is smiling because Nebraska has choked once again.

Cal 45, UCLA 26 - For some reason, every UCLA game makes me want to tear my eyes out because it's so mind-numbingly boring and depressing. And these are high scoring games!

Washington 17, Arizona St. 24 - Well I mean, the Huskies were ranked at one time. Once. Then they lost. Now they suck. And I love life :D

EWU 34, Montana 41 - Wait scratch that, I hate life. F-u Montana.

Hawaii 23, Idaho 35-
That's right, the Vandals are BOWL ELIGIBLE. And I was just struck by a flying pig on the way to work.