Really Derek Jeter? Really?

Doesn't this make you fall over in laughter?

Per Bill Madden of New York Daily News: "But sources close to the Jeter/Close camp have said their starting point was six years, $150 million and that they aren't budging on $25 million per year."
150 million? Listen, the Yankees can throw money around and Jeter is a living New York Legend but that much money?

Last season Jeter hit .270, had 10 home runs and 67 RBIs. His defensive skills are fading and at 36, he would be 42 at the end of his contract.

I understand that in the grand scheme of baseball, staying with one team and having one of your best players in history stay with the team even though they're not quite up to snuff anymore is a big deal. But couldn't Jeter give his team a little bit of a discount? Wouldn't he rather have that money go to other players that could help the Yanks (As much as that would suck)? Doesn't this seem a little selfish? I mean it's not like the Yankees haven't handsomely rewarded him before, the dude makes $21 million a year!

Meanwhile, you'll have to excuse me, the grocery store is having a special on $1 coffee...

Epic Photo: World Series starts tonight

Just thought I'd give the Yankees a little shot before the series.

Tiger Woods just became my best friend

Tiger Woods is an amazing golfer - there's no debate - but you usually don't hear a whole lot about him off the golf course. He's managed to keep his personal life out of the tabloids for the most part and sometimes he seems a little bland.

Well not anymore, he's now criticizing the ticket prices at Yankee Stadium.

BETHESDA, Md. - Tiger Woods is working on his stinger shot off the course as well. He went deep on the Yankees Friday with a swipe at what the "Evil Empire" is charging for admission to the new Yankee Stadium.

Complying with a trend in golf, the AT&T National host is letting kids under 12 in for free this week.

"We don't want to have what happened at Yankee Stadium," Woods said. "Tickets are so overpriced that you can't bring the family. We want to have everyone come out and enjoy being in a family atmosphere, walk around, have a good time and not have it cost an arm and a leg."

I'm pretty sure this is like Tiger Woods first official opinion ever, and it's a dig at the Yankees. Awesome. Hopefully Tiger keeps his hot tongue ways and makes fun of Derek Jeter after the Masters.

Reason No. 1 to hate the New York Yankees

"Tee hee Alex, that tickles."

"Oh stopppp....."

Things that you should do to avoid swine flu

1. Go to places where there isn't a lot of people, like home and the new Yankee Stadium.

2. Avoid kids. They're the little germ-spreading minions of the world. In fact never have kids either. Become a monk instead.

3. Stock up on batteries. You never know when your anti-swine flu flashlight will come in handy.

4. Avoid sick people like their the next coming of Fran Drescher.

5. Bring up the fact that you're underpaid at work, and then threaten to cough on your boss.

6. Avoid Derek Jeter, he had the swine flu.

7. Paint your doorway with sheep's blood, that way the swine flu knows to pass over.

8. Start randomly breathing and talking like Darth Vader.

9. Google "How I can avoid the swine flu" and "How I can avoid media hype."

10. Move to Canada, apparently their swine flu is much milder and actually likes to throw back a couple drinks with you before infection.

Your morning anti-Yankee post

Hello Mr. Yankee fan,

I know it's been a rough year for you so far, since the San Antonio Spurs and the Dallas Cowboys (your other teams - don't know why you root for them) didn't win their respective league championships. But hey, it's baseball season and you're team is starting to heat up, and before long, your sluggers might be breaking out the golden thongs.

Remember a week ago when you were packing the season in and claiming that the Bronx Bombers we're heading the way of the Washington Nationals? Heck, you almost busted out your 2002 Oakland Raiders AFC Championship t-shirt. Good thing you didn't though, because putting Rich Gannon's name on number of the back of that t-shirt wasn't such a great idea.

Now you're 13-11! WOOOOOO! You're almost up to the same level as powerhouse franchises like the Seattle Mariners. Good thing your payroll equals the entire economic output of counties in the middle east and your star ace consumes more food than most countries in the middle east combined. And don't forget Nick Swisher is a great clubhouse guy. I hear he's HILARIOUS, especially when they use him to pitch when the Yankees are getting blown out. See there's a lot of things to still like about this team.

And since you built a new stadium, you don't have to worry about getting mugged en route because nobody can afford the seats and aren't going anyways.

So you enjoy the Red Sox-Yankees game tonight. Better tell your starting pitcher to occasionally look over to third base so Jacoby Ellsbury doesn't take a 45-foot leadoff. Just saying.

Oh yeah, and Derek Jeter has AIDS.