Your morning anti-Yankee post

Hello Mr. Yankee fan,

I know it's been a rough year for you so far, since the San Antonio Spurs and the Dallas Cowboys (your other teams - don't know why you root for them) didn't win their respective league championships. But hey, it's baseball season and you're team is starting to heat up, and before long, your sluggers might be breaking out the golden thongs.

Remember a week ago when you were packing the season in and claiming that the Bronx Bombers we're heading the way of the Washington Nationals? Heck, you almost busted out your 2002 Oakland Raiders AFC Championship t-shirt. Good thing you didn't though, because putting Rich Gannon's name on number of the back of that t-shirt wasn't such a great idea.

Now you're 13-11! WOOOOOO! You're almost up to the same level as powerhouse franchises like the Seattle Mariners. Good thing your payroll equals the entire economic output of counties in the middle east and your star ace consumes more food than most countries in the middle east combined. And don't forget Nick Swisher is a great clubhouse guy. I hear he's HILARIOUS, especially when they use him to pitch when the Yankees are getting blown out. See there's a lot of things to still like about this team.

And since you built a new stadium, you don't have to worry about getting mugged en route because nobody can afford the seats and aren't going anyways.

So you enjoy the Red Sox-Yankees game tonight. Better tell your starting pitcher to occasionally look over to third base so Jacoby Ellsbury doesn't take a 45-foot leadoff. Just saying.

Oh yeah, and Derek Jeter has AIDS.