Something I already knew about New Yorkers... they're dumb

Some (not so shocking) shocking news from New York. Seems like the college students there aren't very bright.

More city kids are graduating from high school, but that doesn't mean they can do college math.

Basic algebra involving fractions and decimals stumped a group of City University of New York freshmen - suggesting city schools aren't preparing them, a CUNY report shows.

"These results are shocking," said City College Prof. Stanley Ocken, who co-wrote the report on CUNY kids' skills. "They show that a disturbing proportion of New York City high school graduates lack basic skills."

During their first math class at one of CUNY's four-year colleges, 90% of 200 students tested couldn't solve a simple algebra problem, the report by the CUNY Council of Math Chairs found. Only a third could convert a fraction into a decimal.

But I betcha they know how to boo someone and call a cab. Anyways this shows you what can happen in an overbudened school system and it's frankly something we have to address nation-wide. Luckily they just single out New Yorkers so I can make fun of them.

In other news, can someone do my taxes for me? In Chewelah we didn't have math, we had guessing.

Another sign the journalism industry is going to hell

Another sign that newspapers are quickly falling off the face of the earth: the New York Times is cutting more newsroom jobs. Apparently the janitor and bagel guy will be left.

The New York Times plans to eliminate 100 newsroom jobs — about 8 percent of the total — by year’s end, offering buyouts to union and non-union employees, and resorting to layoffs if it cannot get enough people to leave voluntarily, the paper announced on Monday.

The program mirrors one carried out in the spring of 2008, when the paper erased 100 positions in its newsroom, though other jobs were created, so the net reduction was smaller. That round of cuts included some layoffs of journalists — about 15 to 20, though The Times would not disclose the actual figure — which was the first time in memory that had happened.

Not a good sign for up-and-coming journalists who see the holy grail of newspapers shed off more jobs as the sagging economy continues to hit bottom lines.

Brief Casey: Let it all hang out

Outdoor sports can sometimes be taken to the extreme. Whether it be the off-road unicyclist, the dirt track skate boarder or the naked hiker in the back country. Eventually every sport that is done under the sun will....wait...did you just say "naked hiker?"

Why yes I did. And since we're on the topic allow me to explain. Mountain hikers in the Swiss canton of Appenzell-Innerrhoden will now be fined 200 Swiss francs, or $170, if they are caught wandering through the Fields of Music in the buff.

Apparently this is becoming a huge, growing (no pun intended) problem in the area. Yes, naked hiking.

I found it hard to believe. I mean, try wandering nude around here in the mountains and your family jewels would be covered in mosquito bites faster than you could pull your pants back up. Although if I'm ever in that area, with an extra $170, I might have to give it a go.

It seems a lot of people do. I found tons of blogs talking about how "invigorating" and "natural" and even "free" it felt.

I do a lot of camping, backpacking and kayaking. And I must say, if I ever ran into someone backpacking in the middle of the woods stark naked, I would be surprised.


Speaking of being surprised, a woman in Salt Lake City stopped a criminal by giving him a headlock and a wedgie. No joke.

Yvonne Morris, a technician at the Brickyard Animal Hospital, said she chased a man who broke into a co-worker's car, but he kept squirming away from her.

She finally caught him, grabbed onto his boxers and gave them a yank. See kids, that is why you don't wear those stupid pants that let your underwear hangout. You'll get caught by them.


And since we're on the topic of underwear, the city of Philadelphia may want some to cover their butthead move.

From March 6 through the 15, the city will be hosting the Philly Beer Week. This is a festival which celebrates local breweries and taverns.

To help prevent drinking and driving, the City Transit System decided to sell discount passes for those attending the event. The passes were printed up and being looked over when it finally dawned on someone the problem.

Instead of a skyline of part of Philadelphia (the city hosting the event) the passes show part of the New York City skyline. Nice work people.

Anyway it goes, that's it. Case Closed.

Random Stuff: A Ninja, a Taco Bell wedding and a grumpy old man

When I think of a ninja, I think of a small man, dressed in black, jumping around kicking butt.

Or maybe a giant turtle.

Or maybe Jackie Chan.

But I certainly don't think of a fat man with a pot belly. No joke, in West Palm Beach, Florida, police are looking for a man described as "portly" complete with belly, dressed in a ninja suit.

The reason they are looking for him is because he has tried (unsuccessfully) to steal two seperate ATM machines over the last two weeks.

Security video from the automated teller machines showed the unidentified man dressed in a black ninja outfit with a hood that showed only his eyes.

A ninja? More like a nonja.


In other news, wedding bells were heard in a Taco Bell. Say What?

In Normal, Illinois, a couple did something, well not Normal. They got married in a Taco Bell restaurant.

Why? you might ask. Because they are not Normal. Well here you go.

The bride wore a $15 hot pink dress and the entire wedding cost about $200. Several dozen guests looked on as the couple's friend, Ryan Green of Normal, administered the vows while wearing a T-shirt. He was ordained online.

"This is the way to go — there's no stress," said the groom's mother, Kathy Brooks.

Caragh Brooks, 21, of Australia, met Paul Brooks, 30, on an Internet dating Web site. They already had the same last name.

The couple wrote back and forth and talked on the phone for nine months before Caragh Brooks moved to the United States.

"We have the same brain, just in two bodies," Paul Brooks said. "We think alike in virtually every manner. We have the same interests, viewpoints."

If they liked it, then that's great. But all I can say is, a hot pink dress, hot sauce packets, tacos and the same brain.

WOW.

And lastly, a man in Stony Point, New York is in trouble for hating people. Yeah, 60-year-old Michael Delisio has been plotting against his enemies for years. How? Well he throws nails in their driveways to cause flat tires.

Seriously, what is suckier than a flat? Nothing.

This man is a genius. Perhaps a bitter old man, but a genius none the less.

The real crime here is the journalist who F-ed up the deck

Now while I can appreciate the story that just came out about a campus cop who was stealing donuts in upstate New York, I'm a bit confused becase in the deck of the story the website reports $300 worth of donuts sold while in the story it says $30.

If he stole $300 worth of donuts I'd be more worried about his health than actually putting him in jail.

Although the most entertaining thing about this story was all the people commenting about how "The pig is getting what he deserved" and "he though he was above the law."

Well I'll be the first to say that in a donut shop that was offering free coffee to police officers anyways, taking a free pastry isn't exactly grand theft auto. I dare say that media and press members take more than their share of free food from the press box during sporting events, should they be charged for theft to?

And taking a donut is not exactly a power trip, it's a way to get diabetes.

And you thought Total Recall was fiction

Remember watching Total Recall and thinking how cool the X-ray vision glass was. Well it's just become a reality, only a little more perverted.

BALTIMORE — Body-scanning machines that show images of people underneath their clothing are being installed in 10 of the nation's busiest airports in one of the biggest public uses of security devices that reveal intimate body parts.

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) recently started using body scans on randomly chosen passengers in Los Angeles, Baltimore, Denver, Albuquerque and at New York's Kennedy airport.

Airports in Dallas, Detroit, Las Vegas and Miami will be added this month. Reagan National Airport in Washington starts using a body scanner today. A total of 38 machines will be in use within weeks.

"It's the wave of the future," said James Schear, the TSA security director at Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport, where two body scanners are in use at one checkpoint.

Schear said the scanners could eventually replace metal detectors at the nation's 2,000 airport checkpoints and the pat-downs done on passengers who need extra screening. "We're just scratching the surface of what we can do with whole-body imaging," Schear said.

Great, wonderful, how fantastic. That creepy airport security guard with the Brett Hart hair and food-stained uniform gets to see the full monty, all in the name of national security.

For the full story head on over here.

"Oh, excuse me miss, it looks like you'll have to go through the scanner again. Whoops, there it goes again you're going to have step through once again."

"You're holding your car keys in the scanner, sir."

"So I am, good catch."