Epic Video of Greatness: Nimoy vs. Quinto

If you're a Star Trek fan, this is the funniest ad ever.

Captain Picard is marrying a 35-year old

You all know Patrick Stewart from Star Trek: The Next Generation and the X-men movies. I've theorized that he's never had hair (and actually he went bald as a teenager) but he's become one of the most recognizable actors around.

And now he's getting married - for the third time - to 35-year-old jazz singer Sunny Ozell. Stewart is 72. In other words, he's living the dream.

And here's the other kicker, Magneto will be performing the ceremony.

Ian McKellen, known for his role as Magneto in the "X-Men" films, will preside over the nuptials of Patrick Stewart, a.k.a Professor X in the mutant superhero franchise. 

Stewart, 72, also a television icon for his portrayal of Captain Jean Luc Picard in "Star Trek: The Next Generation," is set to get hitched to Sunny Ozell, 35, a jazz singer he has been romantically involved with since 2009.

Further proof that Patrick is indeed a badass.

(Get your Captain Jean Luc Picard action figure here.)

White House petitioned to build Starship Enterprise

(Buy your own Enterprise here.)

Since the White House has set up their petition system on their website where they have to seriously look into propositions brought up by citizens with at least 25,000 signatures... the people have decided that the US should build the Starship Enterprise. American democracy at work!

The proposal was submitted through the White House's official "We the People" channel, which promises an administration response to any petition that gathers at least 25,000 signatures. Just last month, a petition to build a Death Star like the spherical spaceship in the movie "Star Wars" garnered that critical mass, and is currently awaiting its official response.

 The Enterprise proposal comes from an engineer who goes by the name BTE Dan, who detailed plans for constructing a life-size, flyable starship Enterprise on his website last year. "We have within our technological reach the ability to build the 1st generation of the USS Enterprise," BTE Dan wrote in the petition, viewable here. As of this writing, the petition had 3,335 signatures, with more than 21,000 to go.

The only issue I would assume would be cost and the fact that we haven't invented warp drive yet. But hey, whatevs...

Meme Time: Your iPad Sucks

I mean you could buy an iPad but you wouldn't be nearly as cool as Captain Jean Luc Picard.

I hate when the Gecko gets angry

Coolest glass ever

Except that Star Trek font is not official. That is all.

Star Trek vs. Star Trek...

With my day off I was able to watch Star Trek. Lots of it. They had a marathon on the SciFi Channel today and I also put in a few DVDs to keep the good feelings going. So excuse me for geeking out, but watching the Original Series cast and the Next Generation cast, it got me thinking: which is better?

So, since I'm in Montana right now (actual site of first contact with the Vulcans, according to Star Trek) and nothing better to do, let's compare the two series.

1. The Ship

There is nothing better than the original Enterprise and Enterprise-A from the movies. That thing has a certain awesomeness to it and looks like a spaceship should. The Enterprise-D? Looks like a Ford Taurus.

2. The Captians

I'm sorry, but William Shatner is mildly insane. Go and listen to the director's commentary for Star Trek 5. Unless he had five vodka and red bulls before doing that commentary, he's a lunatic. Now Captain Kirk is obviously a little more mentally capable but here's the thing... Kirk is Zap Brannagan from Futurama, almost down to a T. While there is something very charismatic about him, he's more of a gunfighter than a captian.

Captian Picard? That's the kind of guy that you want to go to war with. He's going to explore every option and go the diplomatic and smart way around things. Kirk? He'll just set the Enterprise to "self-destruct."

3. Engineers

Really, Scotty or Geordi LaForge? On shore leave, Scotty gets drunk and comes back with a hangover. LaForge wins a chess tournament. Yup.

4. Enemies

With the exception of this guy...

Khan isn't just a great Trek villian, but a great movie villain in general. He's that really spooky crazy-smart-evil combination that you don't mess with. However, other than that, the villains in the original series are kind of lame. The Klingons are better as allies than enemies, because they're honorable and frankly kind of badass. Romulans are just plan douchey. The other enemies were just whatever "Lost in Space" castoff monster they could find at the time.

The Next Generation? They had these guys...

Wait so they're basically unbeatable and instead of killing us we get assimilated? Yeah creepy as hell. Say hello to the Borg.

5. Women

Okay, the Original Series has this one nailed down. Way cooler than Deanna Troy.

Alright, so now that it's been all laid out for you, what do you think?

The gulf is dicked

Ran across this little nugget of good news...

NEW ORLEANS (AP) - Tens of thousands of gallons more oil gushed into the Gulf of Mexico on Wednesday after an undersea robot bumped a venting system, forcing BP to remove the cap that had been containing some of the crude.

The setback, yet another in the nine-week effort to stop the gusher, came as thick pools of oil washed up on Pensacola Beach in Florida and the Obama administration tried to figure out how to resurrect a six-month moratorium on deepwater drilling.

When the robot bumped the system just before 10 a.m. Wednesday, gas rose through the vent that carries warm water down to prevent ice-like crystals from forming, Coast Guard Adm. Thad Allen said. 

What the hell is going on down there? I just got this photos via the Associated Press of BP officers hard at work on the oil spill.

... we're dicked.

Epic Photo: What Captian Kirk is thinking

Reasons why you're still single... Star Trek: TNG

You got in an argument with someone over what was better: Star Trek or Star Trek: TNG. After four hours of intense point/counterpoint you tried to solve things once in for all by simulating a battle between the Constitution-class U.S.S. Enterprise and the Galaxy-class U.S.S. Enterprise-D.

Epic Video: Worst Fight Scene Ever

No wonder the Original Star Trek only lasted three seasons.

Reasons why you're still single... T-shirts you own

If you own these t-shirts. Chances are you've probably seen nobody naked in the last 2 years (porn doesn't count).

How to tell if you're addicted to the internet

1. You refer to people that play World of Warcraft as internet posers, and think that you shouldn't need to pretend to be a night elf in order to right a blog about being a night elf.

2. You twitter that you're on Twitter.

3. You're friends know you as that "LOL CATZ" person.

4. The internet was out for an hour one time, you can't remember what you did when your brain blacked out. You did however wake up with somebody's baby in the closet and a chimpanzee in doctor's clothing clanging pots and pans in the kitchen.

5. When you say "Dark Ages" you're referring to Dial-up. When you say "The 80s" you're referring to when your computer modem only transferred 80k at a time.

6. When you make out with your girlfriend, "Numa Numa" has to be playing in the background.

7. When people lament about how the internet is killing newspapers, you say "yeah, we showed those bastards."

8. You haven't been out of your house since Will Ferrell put out a good movie.

9. You think Canada is actually just a state in the US where they end all their web addresses with .ca.

10. You've watched an entire episode of Star Trek on You Tube. On a Friday Night. In your mother's basement. With your girlfriend. Who's actually just a stuffed Chewbacca doll.

Reasons why you're still single... watching episodes of Star Trek

You stayed up on Saturday night until 1 a.m. watching episodes of Star Trek on YouTube, somewhat impressed with how advanced the series was for the time period back in the 1960s. You vow to watch more Star Trek episodes on Saturday nights, basically meaning you will never get laid again.

Reasons why you're still single... Star Trek Movies

You purchased the trilogy set of Star Trek II, III and IV at Walmart with a plan to someday watch them all in succession.

That's close to seven straight hours of Star Trek.

Yep, chances are not only are you still single, but you've probably never had a girlfriend. And your mom taking you to prom does not count.

By the way, Star Trek II's best line:

"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"

It's true, Star Trek rules the big screen

Alright, so here are a few things you know:

Brandon likes wars in the stars.

Brandon likes treks in the stars.

Brandon likes Tiptoe Through the Tulips by Tiny Tim.



So it was no surprise that he loved the new Star Trek movie. But how about me? I am a non-Star Trek fan and have only seen blurps of the storyline.

Well, I saw it this evening and I must say, it was epic.

It was so good that if JustSON had an "Epic Movies of Greatness" section, this would be on it. This was by far the first sign that the summer movie season was here!

Brandon wrote a great review of the movie last week. VIEW IT HERE.

There really is nothing I can add. And since Jeff saw it too, I'd say that the official ranking of the movie is a WHOPPING 10 out of 10.

In a word, epic.

Reasons why you're still single... After the new Star Trek movie...

(1) You immediately start looking for a green-skinned woman to date.
(2) You start talking into your cell phone like Kirk talks into his communicator.
(3) You make warp sounds when driving.
(4) You look up IMDB to make sure that Spock's mother was in fact Winona Ryder.
(5)You sent you're application to the Navy saying "Look, I know you don't have starships yet, but when you do, I'm totally in."

Reasons why you're still single... can't decide on a Star Trek Costume

You can't decide if you're going to dress up for Spock or Kirk for the premiere of Star Trek. I personally would go with Kirk, because everyone worth their Trekkie ilk knows that Vulcans are not well-endowed.

Reasons why you're still single... Star Trek

(1) You're going to dress up for the new Star Trek Movie... as the actual U.S.S. Enterprise ship, using lots of paper mache.

(2) You can't wait until they start taking applications for Starfleet... should be happening any day now.

(3) You cried when they killed Spock in the second movie... or are pissed that I just ruined the second movie for everyone.

(4) You sometimes call your friends "Number One" and tell them to "Make it So."

(5) You once shaved your head to look like Captain Jean Luc Picard.

(6) You literally peed your pants when you saw the previews for the new Star Trek movie and you aren't ashamed of it at all. Worst of all, you were watching the latest vampire movie when you saw the preview.

(7) You named your dog "Kirk."

(8) You named one of your body parts "Captain Kirk."

(9) You make warp speed sounds when you're driving and pretend to shoot phasers at cars that are going too slow.

(10) You refer to your bedroom as a "Starbase."

With that being said, I can't wait for this new movie to come out. It's going to rock!

Epic Photo: I'm William Shatner, and I rule

I wonder what the ratio of William Shatner getting girls compared to Star Trek fans getting girls is? 125,000 to 1? It's got to be up there.