Reasons why you're still single... After the new Star Trek movie...

(1) You immediately start looking for a green-skinned woman to date.
(2) You start talking into your cell phone like Kirk talks into his communicator.
(3) You make warp sounds when driving.
(4) You look up IMDB to make sure that Spock's mother was in fact Winona Ryder.
(5)You sent you're application to the Navy saying "Look, I know you don't have starships yet, but when you do, I'm totally in."

JustSON at the Movies: Star Trek

I don't care if this means I'll probably never have a girlfriend again, but Star Trek rocked.

It went beyond rocked, it took me to a higher place (and I just ripped off Bill Simmons with that line). Imagine rooting for a franchise for years that had plenty of promise and poor performances, poor direction by the people in management, a much more popular rival (Star Wars), a general disregard by the general public and expecting pretty much the worst possible (Star Trek: Nemesis). Yeah I just described being a pre-2004 Boston Red Sox fan and a Trekkie (Sox fan Dylan Kitzan is brandishing a knife somewhere and plotting my death).

The franchise had gotten clunky, outdated and pretty much abandoned. And then this gem from J.J. Abrams came along and not only breathed new life into Star Trek but reminded everyone why the originals worked so well - solid characters, good chemistry and don't take yourself TOO seriously.

First, the action is paced much, much faster. You really don't get a chance to breathe and roughly five seconds into the movie you're already on the edge of your seat about ready to have a panic attack. However, along with the white-knuckle action they do pack a lot of comedy into the film as well and really make it more accessible to normal people than previous Trek films.

Then they so something awesome. They take pretty much every cliche that Star Trek is known for and put it into the film for the fans of the series. The expendable red shirt guy, for example, sees an untimely incineration. Kirk ends up hooking up with a green-skinned woman. Kirk's getting chases by a large furry monster. Ect. Ect. The only thing missing was him losing his shirt and a bicycle kick of some sort.

But thanks to those cliches, you still feel like you're watching Star Trek and the fact that the characters are played by different actors is non-existent by about 15 minutes into the movie. You're just along for the ride at that point.

I'm going to watch this again. And again. And again. I'm giving it a 10/10. The count: Zero - percent chance of me getting laid every again, DD - the cup size of the green-skinned woman that Kirk lays, 4,734 Romulans that meet their timely end, 1 - Winona Ryder sighting as Spock's mom, 1 - dude from ESPN's "Playmakers" sighting as a security red shirt, 120 minutes - how long I was geeking out during this movie.

Reasons why you're still single... Star Trek

(1) You're going to dress up for the new Star Trek Movie... as the actual U.S.S. Enterprise ship, using lots of paper mache.

(2) You can't wait until they start taking applications for Starfleet... should be happening any day now.

(3) You cried when they killed Spock in the second movie... or are pissed that I just ruined the second movie for everyone.

(4) You sometimes call your friends "Number One" and tell them to "Make it So."

(5) You once shaved your head to look like Captain Jean Luc Picard.

(6) You literally peed your pants when you saw the previews for the new Star Trek movie and you aren't ashamed of it at all. Worst of all, you were watching the latest vampire movie when you saw the preview.

(7) You named your dog "Kirk."

(8) You named one of your body parts "Captain Kirk."

(9) You make warp speed sounds when you're driving and pretend to shoot phasers at cars that are going too slow.

(10) You refer to your bedroom as a "Starbase."

With that being said, I can't wait for this new movie to come out. It's going to rock!