CNN last in the ratings

News giant CNN is having some issues with competiting networks. In fact, they're losing to them all in the ratings race, including their own sister network HLN. Execs can't be too thrilled about this one.

CNN, which invented the cable news network more than two decades ago, will hit a new competitive low with its prime-time programs in October, finishing fourth – and last – among the cable news networks with the audience that all the networks rely on for their advertising.

The official monthly numbers will be finalized at 4 p.m. Monday and will include results from Friday. CNN executives conceded that will not change the competitive standing for the month. CNN will still be last in prime time.

That means CNN’s programs were behind not only Fox News and MSNBC, but even its own sister network HLN (formerly Headline News.) Three of its four shows between 7 and 11 p.m. finished fourth and last among the cable news networks. That was the first time CNN had finished that poorly with its prime-time shows.

Maybe Anderson Cooper could start hosting "Who's the daddy?" episodes like Maury Povich or start yelling a berating guests on his show? Hey, it works for Bill O'Reilly!

Golden Arches

I just saw a poll that said 60 percent of Americans are cutting down on Christmas gifts this year due to financial reasons. When a CNN anchor read that news, she called it a tragedy...

Wait, what? So little Johnny doesn't get a miniature Power Wheels Hummer to cruise around the block. Excuse me for being a little jaded, but the news that Americans are actually saving money is a bit promising. Maybe everyone wont be in thousands of dollars of debt after the Holiday season.

It seems that the ol' USA is taking on the recession with the same vigor and attitude of an old lady on life support.

Look at McDonalds, which has recorded a growth in sales...

How ironic is that? The much-maligned burger joint is taking in profits while everyone is either asking the government for money or just going under.

Why? Because people eat food. McDonalds provides food. It seems pretty cut and dry. Americans eat a lot of food and don't want to wait for it. If you put out a product people will eat and balance your books, you'll be fine.

As Jake from Just Southeast of Northwest said "McDonalds knows what theyre doing, remember Morgan Sperlock? Precisely, not many people do anymore."

And this is coming from the biggest college conservative hippie I know. Morgan Sperlock produced that anti-McDonalds documentary where he basically ate nothing but McDonalds for an entire month.

He, of course, had serious medical problems.

But you know what? If I ate just celery for a month straight I would probably have the same thing happen for me. Sperlock's argument is fundamentally flawed in the fact that humans need diversified diets.

McDonalds is just a small slice of that food selection, and they package it right and lots of people obviously eat there. That's how America works.

Why I'm Communist

No, I'm actually a pretty moderate American, but here's a couple things about the elections that bug me.

- Saturday Night Live only gets funny around this time.
- College students complaining about how politicians talk out of their butt, and then the same college students talk out their butts about politics.
- College Republicans/Democrafts... aka... one step below people who play WoW.
- Obama's skinny legs.
- Fox News declaring McCain the winner last week.
- CNN declaring Obama the winner last week.
- The New York Times endorsing Obama for supreme chancellor.
- No Ross Perot on the ballot.
- Canada

But other than that... get out and vote!