October 31, 2009

Things I should probably know before flying

1. Never show up to the Spokane Airport four hours before your flight boards. You'll spend lots of time walking around the newsstand looking at copies of "MacLife" and wishing the world would explode. Macs can't right click!

2. Never pack all your bath supplies from home because apparently all you can pack is a ketchup-sized packet of shampoo. I will not be taking showers this week.

3. Finding that the airport bar is closed could be one of the worst feelings in the world. The best? Finding another airport bar open and serving at full capacity.

4. Side shots are the best.

5. People drinking at an airport bar aren't the same kind of people you're going to find at Walmart. Trust me on this one, it had more suits than a Men's Wearhouse.

6. Never ask security if it's okay for you to bring firecrackers on board the plane.

7. Short, young pilot hitting on the flight attendents makes you fear for your life.

8. Tall, old, experienced pilots that look like they could have flied some time in Vietnam... all the confidence in the world. And since he's older he's not going to get distracted while checking Facebook.

9. Starbucks rips you off in the airport and yet the coffee is still delicious.

10. and after all this... you'll still have two hours to wait for your flight to take off, because you showed up three hours early.


  1. Macs can too right click... the mouse is just too smart for you

  2. Number 3 says it all! That is hilarious and oh how true. Absolutely nothing lower than a closed airport bar when you need it most, but no higher can be had when you find another one open and ready to take good care of you. Flying is such a sureal experience to begin with and when you mix in a airport bar, you're looking at a spiritual experience. Cheers!

  3. Oh man, being too early to the airport can really suck. But what's worse is having to rush giving yourself an ulcer.

    Loved your observations, especially about the vietnam era pilots. I like the pilots with military training!