March 31, 2008

A date with Sasquatch

Growing up in the Pacific Northwest I spent much of my free time camping in the foothills of Mount Rainier. There I saw everything from squirrels to yellow-bellied marmots. But never Sasquatch.

And I had plenty of opportunities to. Now I'm not saying whether Big Foot is real or not. I'm simply saying that I have never seen him.

Well, Gene R. Morrill of New Hampshire claims that he not only saw Sasquatch, but that Sasquatch molested him as a child.

Here's the full story.

Morrill is getting ready to serve a sentence for molestation charges himself. Despite this, some are believing his claims.

"I take him very seriously because I know Mr. Morill has issues," said Defense Attorney Terrence Patton.

But others, think the claim is just too far fetched.

"I've had a few that have claimed abuse, but never by a mythical creature," said Stafford County Detective Darryl Wells.

Residents of the town don’t seem to buy the man's claims either.

"What? Are you serious," said one resident.

"I just don’t believe it," said another resident.

We here at Just South of North know that molestation charges are NO laughing matter. However, molestation charges against Bigfoot are.

So now I am curious. If these claims against Bigfoot are true. Do you think I could get a lady Sasquatch to go on a date?

Maybe a nice larva and moss soup. With some fresh spring water to wash it down. We could take a walk in a heavily forested area. After that we would make a brief appearence in a meadow, so some backpackers would see us, and then vanish to our underground caves.

But what if there are only male Sasquatches?!?!

Great. So now when I go camping I not only have to worry about rain, but now waking up in the middle of the night to Sasquatch in my sleeping bag. Do you think he'll call me back?

Oh, and this video may be proof Bigfoot is real.


2 comments:

  1. There better not be any sasquaches in your sleeping bag!

    ReplyDelete
  2. man if its not sasquatch, its that darn manbearpig

    ReplyDelete