The NFL is going to the birds

Since ESPN's Sports Guy Bill Simmons was 0-4 in his NFL playoff picks last week, I felt that I really couldn't do any worse.

Although I do have a history of jinxing teams on the cusp of making the Super Bowl, I think that I'm a few years older and wiser. So without further delay, here are my picks for the upcoming AFC and NFC Championship games.

Arizona Cardinals over the Philadelphia Eagles

The Cardinals probably have the strange distinction of going from "darkhorse favorite to the Super Bowl" a couple years ago to "Not making the playoffs because they can't beat the Seattle Seahawks" to "Nobody really cares about this team" to "They could be alright in this division, if Kurt Warner and Matt Leinhart weren't playing quarterback" to "They're the best team in the weak NFC West" to "God, ever since they clinched the division they've been playing horrible" to "They'll lose in the first round of the playoffs" to hosting the NFC Championship Game.

And with Brian Westbrook not 100 percent (that happens when your knee swells up), I think we might be adding another desciption to that... Super Bowl bound.

Baltimore Ravens over the Pittsburgh Steelers

Remember when Big Ben got into a motorcycle wreck and had to have his jaw wired shut? That's going to seem like a trip to the dentist compared to the beating he'll take if Pittsburgh can stop the rush of the Ravens - which are simply too physical for really any team in the NFL, and are red hot.

And besides... an all-bird Super Bowl? Oh the jokes I can make.