Summer Camp Survival Guide for just out of college counselors

Due to the recent collapse of the economy, many just out of college students may find themselves scrambling for jobs. Spending five years drinking profusely and making up rap lyrics might not be as impressive to companies losing money as it once was. This usually means that they have to resort to various types of jobs, and with summer coming up, a camp counselor position might be one of them.

And since I spent a year as a camp counselor, I know a thing or two about counseling, here's a handy-dandy survival guide to ensure you don't end up in jail...

(1) It's not okay for your stoner buddies to crash one of the cabins for a place to stay after a hard night's drinking. Yes, even when kids are staying in those cabins.

(2) Avoid making out with the other counselors that are under the age of 18. And no, your parents wont approve.

(3) If one of your campers get bit by a poisonous snake. Giving him Robitussin will not help.

(4) If you see Sasquatch, tell him that you know Casey and me. He'll let you off the hook.

(5) It's alright to cut in front of the kids at the cafeteria to get seconds on the Mac and Cheese. But only if it's a fat camp.

(6) If Ben Stiller takes over your camp, you're so screwed.

(7) If you buy alcohol for all the counselors, make sure you're wearing you staff shirt so everyone knows where you came from.

(8) Plan long hikes, but let the kids go out on their own. That gives you more time to work on your fantasy baseball league back at the camp office.

(9) If somebody is screaming for help in the swimming area, they're probably joking. You know the saying "Unless they're blue, they're cool."

(10) Make sure you have a Nalgene. ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A NALGENE.