Boy, these two conference finals are shaping up to be pretty epic. I was at a buddy's house for the "Lebron's Big Adventure" shot, so I figured I'd have a game log for the third matchup between the Cavs and Magic. Here we go:5:34 - Selina Roberts could have a show called "The Reporter" on TNT and that would not surprise me one bit.
5:36 - Boston Garden, Madison Square Garden, Chicago Stadium and ... Amway Arena? Good God Orlando, you do not deserve an NBA franchise.
5:39 - Lebron James stutter steps his powder tradition, moves over and throws it up over two fat, balding men. And then Orlando fans boo him. The game hasn't even started yet and I'm already sucked in.
5:40 - Cavs miss four shots on their opening possession. Oops.
5: 43 - Graphic shows Lebron scoring over 40 percent of the Cavs points in the series. If you don't think he gets his own corner locker and first crack at the pre-game spread, you're kidding yourself. He also probably gets to choose the in-flight movie, what players' wife he gets to sleep with and who the Cavs are picking in the upcoming draft.
5:50 - A travel call in the NBA? Take that college basketball fan who played varsity his senior year and hustled a lot. The NBA does care about fundamentals ... sometimes ... so stop talking about your glory days at Jenkins High School.
5:54 - Orlando GM apparently has lucky scorpion socks and apparently washes his socks with Amway laundry detergent. And sidelines reporting has reached a new low for TNT.
5:59 - Lebron makes a huge SportsCenter block just to remind everyone he's still playing in the game.
Magic 24, Cavs 17 - END OF FIRST QUARTER
6:14 - Does "Year One" look awesome to anyone else? And what has happened to Jack Black's career? He's two comedy duds from appearing in a bad Vin Diesel movie.
6:16 - Along with timeouts, does Stan Van Gundy also yell desperately at the dinner table. "Hey, SOMEONE NEEDS TO PASS THE SALT! You hear me? SALT! Right here. In my lap! THANK YOU!"
6:17 - Ben Wallace needs a new beard stylist.
6:20 - Orlando apparently forgot to plan their defensive rebounding strategy, still Cleveland is shooting like crap and are down 29-25.
6:23 - The Cavs take the lead at 30-29. A large contingent of Cleveland fans is heard. I texted somebody in Orlando about the series and they texted back "is that baseball?"
... and yet Seattle doesn't have an NBA franchise anymore. Woo!
6:30 - Mo Williams get an elbow by Alston but is called for the foul. This causes him to bleed profusely and head to the locker room. Meanwhile, Alston misses his two free throws. Then Williams is called back to shoot free throws after it's decided that Alston committed a flagrant. He nails both of them. Playoff basketball at its best.
6:41 - Jeff Gordon plugs a NASCAR race... I don't mean to stereotype but I would say there's very little carryover between NASCAR fans and NBA fans. Just sayin.
6:43 - New strategy to stop Lebron James - "Flop-a-bron."
6:48 - Mo Williams is starting to swell up and he looks like he just fought the Russian in Rocky 4
Magic 42, Cavs 41 - HALFTIME
No flow whatsoever, the refs are really making this game somewhat unwatchable.
7:05 - Great halftime footage of Stan Van Gundy talking in front of a changing player for all the female NBA fans watching TNT.
7:17 - Was that a "Magic Suck!" chant I heard? Is Magic Johnson in the building and are Orlando fans still reeling from "The Magic Hour?"
7:30 - Somebody has to do something about the massive cleavage behind Mike Brown.
Magic 68, Cavs 64 END OF THIRD QUARTER
7:49 - The words "Lebron James" and "bench" strike fear in the heart of every Cavs fan.
7:58 - Scoring-wise and clutch-wise, Dwight Howard is pretty terrible in the fourth quarter and gets bailed out by his teammates and I stand by that.
8:15 - I like how Lebron James builds up a head of steam and then Orlando fouls him by default.
8:25 - Here's how you lose a close basketball game. Miss free throws, then turnover the ball on your next position. Have your center foul out... oh yeah and do this with about 1:08 to go.
TNT just informs us that 77 free throws have been attempted in this game. Again, I hate when refs need to ruin the flow of the game like this.
8:32 - Last gasp threes by Lebron and Williams pretty much wraps it up. This sums up a terrible shooting night for Cleveland.
GAME OVER. Magic 99, Cavs 89. Orlando takes 2-1 lead in Series
Magic fans, I wouldn't be too enthused just yet because nobody - including Lebron - could make a consistent shot for the Cavs in this game. They just had an off night and still only lost by ten. Also - your team couldn't make a defensive rebound to save your life. And you have Dwight Howard. Ponder that for a while.
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