May 15, 2009

Text messages that I would dread getting

"GOOGLE NEWS: Boston's 2004 World Series has been stripped from the team due to inconsistencies in Dave Roberts urine sample. Apparently he was taking steroids intended for Cheetahs."

"Verizon Wireless wants you to pay your phone bill before we break your f------ knees."

"Dude, remember the party last night, you were totally making out with the fattest chick there. I mean, wow, she was a porker. I've seen large women in my day and she definitely takes the... VERIZON WIRELESS CAN ONLY SEND 200 WORD TEXTS..."

"... VERIZON WIRELESS CAN ONLY SEND 200 WORD TEXTS... cake and eats it. Wow. Dude, did you go home with her?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Hello son, we just found your facebook profile and twitter page. We need to talk about your references to the Cleveland Steamer..."

"Hi, you gave me your number last night. Remember me? my name is Chuck."

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