10 ways to shut up "that Mariners fan"

Since we're all about integrity and class here at Just South of North. Here's 10 ways to shut up that Mariners fan that keeps talking about how great Griffey and Ichiro is...

(1) Remind them that two games in a row is not a winning streak. It's just two nights in a row that your bullpen hasn't taken a complete dump.

(2) Ask them how much they enjoy paying taxes for Safeco Field. (This cracks me up, because meanwhile in Spokane we're enjoying a 60-year old stadium that's absolutely gorgeous, a modern Arena thats pretty much the best venue among mid-sized cities... and then we have the open gaping eyesore that is Joe Albi Stadium. But at least we're not paying taxes of them.)

(3) Tell them that winning a divisional series to go to the ALCS does not make them a legendary franchise, or that year's squad a legendary team. If you need to back this up, point to teams that have actually won World Series and remind them that the best squad in Seattle history couldn't even play against these guys because they haven't won a league championship yet.

(4) Just play the YouTube clip of Brett Boone crying like a baby.

(5) Remind them that every decent Mariners player has left the team via free agency.

(6) Tell them that Nintendo bought the Mariners only after they played Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball on the SNES.

(7) Show them that pints of Bud Light are more expensive than Griffey's batting average.

(8) The Ritchie Sexson experiment. Nuff said.

(9) Make a "Seattle Mariners most likely to be living into a cardboard box outside of Qwest Field" list. And no, they don't make a cardboard box big enough for Carlos Silva to fit inside it.

(10) Remind them that if the Mariners lose 99 games this year it will actually be an improvement. That's something you can rest your franchise on.