June 26, 2009

Other people that Bill Simmons should piss off

Bill Simmons - my favorite sports writer and podcaster - has apparently ignited a blood feud with Los Angeles Clippers head coach and general manager Mike Dunleavy.

On Colin Cowherd's show yesterday Dunleavy called Simmons "a joke writer" with "no credibility" after the ESPN columnist has repeatedly criticized him and his handling of the Clippers. Simmons called in after the interview and roundly tore into Dunleavy. Since then he's been twittering these gems...

Mike Dunleavy saying someone has no credibility is like Michael Richards calling someone a racist.

1 more joke: Q: "What do you call a coach who decimated 40% of his team's season ticket holders base?" A: "Mike Dunleavy."

Here's a joke: "What do you call an NBA coach who's 194-298 with the Clips?" A: "Still employed!!!" Now that's a funny joke.

This should end nicely. I hope Simmons doesn't make a habit of getting into shouting matches with everybody he criticizes, as the best part of his columns is that he approaches them as a sports fan - not some newspaper columnist looking to stir up controversy.

However, if he's going to keep doing this, here's who he should pick on:

1. William Shatner - Can you imagine that radio interview? "Bill Simmons ... is a... JOKE... writer! Where is... my... scotch?"

2. Clay Bennett - I endorse this one. Bill, take the Oklahoma Thunder's owner to town and make sure he ends up crying somewhere in a back alley.

3. A-rod - What is Rodriguez going to do? Slap at his glove?

4. Magic Johnson - Maybe Simmons would be the first to publicly admit that Johnson is a terrible broadcaster and shouldn't be allowed near a camera. I'd rather have Youppi! analyzing the NBA Finals.

5. Draco from Rocky 4 - Simmons could find a mountain somewhere and scream this guy's name at the top of his lungs.

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