August 8, 2009

College Football Top 25

Since they released the pre-season polls for college football, I figured I would run through them and enlighten you with my snide comments that equate to absolutely nothing.

1. Florida - Get ready for roughly 4,500 Tim Tebow feature stories in the next three months. I like the guy and how he plays but could the media back off a little. "Tebow has PB sandwich for lunch" on the ESPN BottomLine is going a little too far.

2. Texas - Can we mark down "Colt McCoy" as the best quarterback name in the last 20 years?

3. Oklahoma - Ah, America's Runner up keeps making an appearance in the Top Five. How cute.

4. USC - What? The University of Southern California is ranked highly in football? I did not know this.

5. Alabama - Guys wearing no shirts are cheering loudly everywhere around the state... while waiting in line for their hunting license.

6. Ohio State - Jim Tressel's vest alone gets them in the top 20.

7. Virginia Tech - Michael Vick? I don't know who you're talking about? Who's this Michael Vick you speak of?

8. Penn State - This just in... they open up the season against Ferris High School. Congrats on a wonderful schedule that will get you the national title!

9. LSU - I think Tigers fans are already tailgating in the parking lot.

10. Mississippi - Apparently the top 25 pre-season polls are also a tool used by the SEC to determine how well all their teams will do.

11. Oklahoma State - IT'S A SCHOOL! IT'S RANKED IN THE TOP 15!

12. California - Before you start dogging the Pac-10 for being weak, keep in mind that not a single Big East team has been mentioned so far.

13. Georgia - Does Matthew Stafford's jock that he left in his college locker give this team immediate legitimacy?

14. Oregon - I didn't know this was a list of worst college football uniforms...

15. Georgia Tech - Is there a least interesting school that's constantly in the top rankings for football, basketball and baseball. You never hear anything about "Woo! Here comes Georgia Tech!" and yet they're in the rankings every single year.

16. Boise State - The WAC got a team in before the Big East. The WAC! With that said, I hope Idaho beats them.

17. TCU - The Horned Frogs has to be up there with best mascot in Div. I schools.

18. Utah - It's not like these guys are good or anything. What did they do? Beat Alabama in a bowl game? Pshhh.

19. Florida State - Ah, setting up set another disappointing season.

20. North Carolina - Duke must be jealous. If only they fielded a football team...

21. Iowa - When the biggest city in your state is roughly the size of Spokane, you don't have much to cheer about. Let the people have their fun.

22. Nebraska - Ditto. Only change it to half the size of Spokane. But keep in mind that this program hasn't been good in years... but dont tell Cornhusker fans that.

23. Notre Dame - Be prepared for roughly 6,700 "the Irish are overrated" stories this year. Newspapers are dying... they're running out of things to write about so give them a break.

24. Brigham Young - You want to talk about mid-majors that don't get a chance? How about mid-majors that schedule weak teams outside of their conference, run a system that bloats their players stats and lack any sort of success in Bowl games. That's BYU.

25. Oregon State - Teams that are way more enjoyable to watch than Oregon... mark one up for the Beavers.

That's right, there is no Big East team in the Top 25, but several teams are receiving votes. Ugh.

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