October 14, 2009

Reasons why you're single... Flag Football



It's great that you want to get out and exercise, but a competitive flag football team is about as lame as a Alberta swimsuit competition. It's fun to go out with friends and play a game but when you start setting up a practice schedule, complete with a weight training regime, it might have gone too far.

And no, people don't get excited when you update how your team is doing on Facebook/twitter/local newspaper. The Eastern Western Kentucky State Intramural League is not exactly news-worthy.

Saying things like "WE DOMINATED" and "OUR BLOCKS LAID OUT ANYONE WHO GOT IN OUR WAY" are fairly ridiculous, considering your college-age team's domination came over a bunch of overweight 40-year olds trying to relive the 70s again by play flag football once a week. I don't think the professional flag football league is going to come calling or anything.

And also keep in mind, there's one major thing missing from flag football - contact - that would put your past-it's-prime body in the hospital if you went up against somebody semi-talented (heck semi-pro at this rate).

So please, shut up about your flag football team.

(And how many times does somebody's shorts get completely pulled down at game? Twice? Three times a game? LAAAAAMMMME)

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