Why I hate SEC fans

Growing up in the great Northwest, I've grown to like the Pac-10. While it's not as "passionate" (read jobless losers watching a football game) as the SEC, it's still great football. However, every SEC fan in the country would disagree. That's why I hate them. And I hate them for this as well...

• They won't see this, because they can't read.
• Apparently they play the greatest brand of football on the face of the planet. Nevermind the other big conferences that consistently beat them in bowl games... oh and the NFL. 
• Ole Miss reminds me of some jerseys they found in the back of some Christmas theater production closet directed by a drunk man.
• Many of states in the south don't have very high populations, yet hundreds of thousands of people tailgate outside of their favorite team's stadium - making them the largest city in the state that day or something. Question - since everyone is getting drunk, who's manning the hospitals and police stations?
• CBS owns your TV contract therefore all we hear during your games are "CSI: Canada" promos.
• Any part of the country that keeps talking about "the rise of the Confederacy" is instantly written off in my book.

So there you have it. I'd better not have a catfish thrown through my window.