Miracle on facial hair

America is No. 1 at a lot of things. One of those things is growing beards, as the ol' Red White and Blue have struck gold in the World Beard and Mustache Championships

The United States is the world's new facial hair super power, having captured twelve world championship titles out of eighteen categories plus overall at the World Beard and Moustache Championships in Anchorage, Alaska on May 23, 2009. Possessing home field advantage, the USA was able to dethrone Germany which had dominated this competition since its inception.

Hometown favorite and Beard Team USA member David Traver was crowned overall champ, having styled his beard to resemble an Alaska snowshoe which earned him top honors in the freestle full beard category. Meanwhile Germany's Karl-Heinz Hille's elaborate moustache earned him second. San Franciscan Jack Passion placed third with his long, red natural beard. The winners took home engraved gold pans.

USA! USA! USA! Now if only we could be good at having a stable economy...