1. Do not put in a quarterback with the last name of "Mirer."2. Stay away from the strategy of handing the ball off to your running back that seems to fall down at the slightest hint of contact in short yardage situations. (And for those of you that are worried, Shaun Alexander is still alive and tweeting.)
3. Don't go for it on 4th and 20 on your side of the field otherwise ESPN will run the clip of you not converting it for the next month anytime a team goes for it on 4th down.
4. If the USC program collapses due to NCAA violations, make sure you shrug your shoulders and go "Did I do that?" That will make Washington and WSU fans go wild.
5. Don't UNDER any CIRCUMSTANCE mention Matt Hasselbeck's bald head.
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