February 8, 2010

Super Bowl mashes the ratings

Apparently yesterday's Super Bowl was the most watched TV program ever, trumping even the M*A*S*H series finale (Which is the holy grail of television ratings). A third of the country (and I dare say those numbers seem a little low) watched the Saints beat the Colts on Sunday, however, I feel that the NFL has nothing on M*A*S*H.

Why? Read on...

1. Peyton Manning's pouty face doesn't hold a candle to Frank Burns getting pissed -
and that happens roughly 13 times every episode. Frank is the guy at the party telling everyone to keep it under two drinks and then gets pissed when someone pops open his fifth of Cheewee Canadian Whisky.

2. People die in MASH, haven't seen anyone die in the NFL yet - Seriously, for the most violent sport in America, no deaths? I mean really?  In baseball, they're pegging guys in the head and then tagging the dead body to ensure he's out. The NFL, yeah they're only maiming players for life. Lame.

3. Radar reminds me of Mark Few for some reason -
okay, this has nothing to do with the NFL but I just had to get that in there.

4. Performance Enhancing Drugs are a no-show in MASH -
Unless you count the martinis they would make, but believe me, martinis are the grossest things only intended for people with pickled livers. Meanwhile, if you want to talk about players on PEDs, maybe you should stop looking and popeye looking baseball players and point a finger at the football players that looks like the bad guy from "300" only with bigger biceps and a third eye.

5. Canned laughter -
the only laughing going on during the NFL is when Troy Aikman tries to form a sentence.

So do yourself a favor, go out and buy MASH on DVD.

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