February 20, 2010

What to do if a volcano erupts...

Since I've been watching Volcano disaster movies all day and since I'm from the state of Washington (we have had our fair share of volcanoes), I figured I would key all of you in on how to survive an eruption.

1. Get the hell out if you start to notice lakes and ponds turning into acidic pools of death. Except for the Spokane River... that's totally cool. It's normal.
2. Listen to the movie star looking geologist while ignoring the fat geologist boss (because he will die soon, trust me)
3. Evacuate when they say its time to evacuate - that guy thats wants everyone to stay because of the economy of the town? Yeah he's about to get a steaming pile of lava bomb shoved down his throat.
4. Mark out where all the abandoned mine shafts are.
5. Avoid any manhole covers or subway tunnels where there are rumors of a volcano sprouting up in your city.

1. Jump into any hot springs unless you want to look like the head coach of the San Antonio Spurs... only deader.
2. Go back through a river of lava for the freakin' dog.
3. Go back up the mountain to get freakin' grandma.
4. Be "that journalist" that gets to eager to report to the story and ends up with a stomach-full of lava.
5. Ignore the movie star geologist... I mean, since when is this EVER a good idea? Ask the dead people.
6. Make some sort of selfish move like push somebody down to get out of the way over lava, ash, or general mayhem... karma is a pain and always comes back to bite you.

There you go. Now go out there and find a volcano.

1 comment:

  1. that is a bloody spectacular photograph. I hope you didn't singe your eyebrows