Reasons why you're still single... bragging about running

You constantly fill up your facebook status updates with the amount of miles youve ran and then you try to pass them off like you've done it all the time.

"Oh man, three miles running, feels so good"

Although you're not actually sure if its three miles, you just assume since you broke a sweat by the time you got to the street corner and that has to be three miles right? But it doesn't stop there, you have to throw in the little nugget that "you might be training for a half-marathon"

Please, humor us. There's no way you're doing a half-marathon unless you want to be that guy with bloody nipples towards the end of the race. And nobody cares that you ran a long ways. Whoop de doo, you know who also runs? People getting chases by Grizzly Bears. Anyone can do it.

So please stop making me feel guilty for sitting at home eating McDonalds.