August 27, 2010

How to be "that guy" at a wedding

Casey didn't know what he got into when he invited me to be a groomsman. Here's some things I plan to do.

1. Color my hair an obnoxious green color, then slip the hair dye in the brides shampoo.

2. Make inappropriate comments around the parents like "Panty raid!" and "Anyone want to go to a strip club?"

3. Booze. Bring a flask. Give it to the ring bearers.

4. Start a slow clap way too often at the wedding. Probably when somebody starts crying during the speeches.

5. Push the bride in the pool before the wedding. Make sure the pool has that same green dye.

6. Hit on somebody's sister. Preferably on the fence of legality.

7. Refuse to shower starting three days before the wedding.

8. Reverse mohawk.


  1. Lol, so #3 is why Cody was being so uncooperative. Thanks Brandon. Thanks Alot.