October 7, 2011

The Brandon Hansen NFL Column

The Titans are 3-1 and killing it right now! Super excited to see how they finish the season in a division with a notoriously choke-friendly Texans team, a Manning-less Colts team and the LA Jags. But first, lets see what this week has in story for us...

Panters vs. Saints
I'm starting to call him Cam "Empty Calorie Stats" Newton. Sure he puts up big numbers as a rookie, but how much of that has been in garbage time? I'm not dogging him, but I'm certainly not picking him over the Saints and Drew Brees.

Eagles vs. Bills
This is the week where Philadelphia finally pulls their collective heads out of their nether regions. I know the Bills are talented and are the feel-good team of the year so far, but remember that an Andy Reid team with high expectations always starts off slow, picks up and finds a way into the post season. They won't overlook the Bills like they did with San Francisco.

Chiefs vs. Colts
Lets play "Which team is more gawdawful!" I'm gonna go with the Colts on this one, they showed some life last week against the Bucs, who aren't a complete flaming train-wreck. I think they're slowly figuring out how to score some points. If they're going to win a game this season, they have a good chance against the Chiefs. Kansas City has been blown out twice this season to good teams, barely lost to division rival San Diego when it was in its September funk and eeked by Minnesota. Not exactly a powerhouse.

Bengals vs. Jags
Cincinatti wins this one because they at least appear to be a somewhat interesting team. The Jags meanwhile, are getting called out by New England linemen for not adjusting to the other teams offense with audibles (Namely, how you play defense in the NFL). Or not moving at all on defense when the offense lines up to run a play. That's not a good sign for them.

Giants vs. Seahawks
I don't know New York does this but they'll be 4-1 after defeating Seattle. Don't tell me you think the Seahawks have a chance, on the road, against a team in the NFL. However, I still am going to be scratching my head while trying to explain how Eli Manning and the Giants are freaking 4-1. Give that NFL scheduler a medal.

Vikings vs. Cardinals
Vikings pick up their first win of the season. They've played in close games in their first four games of the season and while be home for this one. While Donovan McNabb is a zombie, I think with it being at the Metrodome, and the fact that the Cardinals are 1-3 and not as good as their record indicates, this means a W for the Purple People Eaters.

Titans vs. Steelers
Tennessee's D vs. that awful Pittsburgh line? Better hope they have a big enough stretcher to carry off Big Ben in. I'm not saying its going to be a blowout as these two teams usually play one another pretty close, but do you really want to put your money on Pittburgh's hobbled quarterback behind one and a half linemen?

Raiders vs. Texans
The Raiders really do follow the Oakland Aura. They're talented, with tons of speed, lack discipline but look promising this season. Matt Schaub didn't look great last week and they'll be without Andre Johnson. The Texans beat an Steelers team that is actually using Lingerie League linemen to protect Big Ben, and will be hard pressed to stop the Raiders No. 1 rushing offense. See where I'm getting out here? The TEXANS ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE! AND WE LET THEM OFF THE HOOK! They're a bunch of pretenders.

Bucs vs. 49ers
The Bucs were hard-pressed to beat Indy and didn't look like the most dynamic offense in the world against them. San Francisco is coming off their big win against Philadelphia, and have a shutdown defense while their offense looks like it can actually score points now. I think the Niners win this one. Yep that's right, pencil them down for 12-4 and a trip to the NFC Championship game.

Chargers vs. Broncos
The next time I pick the Broncos is when they clone John Elway and install him at quarterback again. Otherwise, no dice.

Jets vs. Pats
IF YOU PUT MONEY ON THE JETS... think to yourself after Tom Brady scores a touchdown after five plays during the opening drive of the game, who are the Jets trotting out to tie the game up? Mark Sanchez. Yeah I think I'm going to go with Brady on this.

Falcons vs. Packers
Falcons are gritty, but not a great team. Certainly not a good enough team to defeat the Packers.

Lions vs. Bears
Everybody is rolling on the Lions. This is the perfect time for the Bears to roll in and put a stop to the undefeated season. I'm not saying the Bears are great, but their a tough team and I think this Lions team has a knack for falling behind by a lot of points early. If they do that, they're not coming from 20 points down against the Bears' defense.

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