April 4, 2012

The dream of the 2190s is alive in Seattle

That's not just a photo of Marshawn Lynch flexing his butt muscles, it's a photo for the Seattle Seahawks new uniforms after they sold their soul to Nike. It's great how they have a knack for making football players look like pilots from "Robotech." (And if you get that reference, you're probably single. Enjoy dying alone)

With the Swoosh doing the uniforms for every NFL team, some expected some drastic changes in the National Football League. However, teams didn't budge and all the uniforms will look like they did last year except for the collar which is supposedly going to fit over pads better. Seattle, though, said "Hey Nike, lets rebuild this thing from the ground up." The result is a futuristic uniform that would make Stormtroopers shake in their boots.

That's not a bad thing, considering they could have pulled a Cleveland Browns and not change their uniforms for 50 years. If I lived in that city... well I would have moved to Cincinnati a long time ago.

While I've heard everything from "that's the most godawful thing I've seen since the Hilton Sisters made a movie" and "I didn't realize Rollerball was becoming a reality until now" ... I'm going to go out on a limb hear and say that these new Seahawks uniforms aren't that bad. Why?

1. Most NFL uniforms are going to look like this in 10 years - Come on, it's Nike. They picked on Seattle first because the franchise wasn't thrilled with it's Blue Man Group uniforms in the first place. And they're the Seahawks and they're easy to pick on (coming from the kid who got beat up for bring Curt Warner football cards to class). Nike will get their way with the other NFL franchises before... slowly taking... over... the universe. Just wait. This will seem mild compared to the Atlanta Falcons actually having feathers on their uniforms.

2. It's different from anything Boise State or Oregon has done so far - You can't blame Nike for being repetitive. We didn't see a giant Seahawk on someone's sleeve or a chrome helmet for these new uniforms. This look is completely new, but its not completely over the top. Everyone may make it seem like its crazy but it's pretty mild compared to anything Oregon has done. It has a slight resemblance to the San Diego Chargers' unis, and I think that's what they'll look like when you're watching them out on the field.

3. At least they didn't make the field bright lime green - Leave the cool, crazy fields to Eastern Washington University. And please bury those Lime Green jerseys from last season under the Space Needle. ery

4. Different combinations- Like the Oregon Ducks, the Seahawks can interchange three different colors between both their jerseys and pants. That means multiple combinations. I'm usually bored and extremely ADD on Madden so if I can change the jersey for every single game, that's frackin' rad. Why is this important in real life? Remember when the Seahawks first got their Blue Man Group unis and had their home jersey with white pants. It looked awful and it took them a whole year to realize blue on blue in the way to go. Now with these new uniforms, they can find the right color combo sooner (Big fan of white jersey, blue pants). Also the gray jersey looks really sharp and should be a nice addition.

5. Carbon Fiber Helmet - Hey it works for imports on "The Fast and the Furious," it should work for football right? Actually, until I see this work out on the field I'm gonna think this is a big flop. However, it could be worse, the Hawks could have these helmets.

If anyone wants to knock these jerseys... I mean, come on, it's Seattle, it's the Pacific Northwest, everything is a little bit different and weird looking. This is nothing new.


  1. You know, I actually like the aesthetics of the new 'Hawks uniform, I like the new blue better, the grey numbers and especially the little touches like the "Northwest Native-American style" wings on the legs.

    But hey, I'm a Bronco fan and we just got our own uniform upgrade, 18 > 15.

  2. I'm glad the seahawks changed their uniforms, becauses the NFL jerseys have been the same for years and its time for a change in the NFL. The rest of the league needs to open their eye's and welcome what nike is trying to do.