December 4, 2012
Things you shouldn't buy an NFL fan this Christmas
(Seriously, you would really upset somebody if you bought one of these.)
1. A Jay Cutler Broncos Action Figure - While I'm not quite sure what "action" Jay Cutler does these days except smoke, when you ask Broncos fans about Cutler, it's not exactly a bunch of fond memories. I'm trying to figure out where he ranks among quarterbacks in this era of football, and my gut tells me he doesn't rank very highly. Also consider that Bronco fans have Peyton Manning throwing the football now, and they couldn't give to craps about Cutler.
2. A Cleveland Browns Lawn Gnome - Because all the neighbors will laugh at the person who has this in their yard. Why? Because they're a Browns fan and who is a Browns fan?
3. Tony Romo Plush Doll - Unless you're Jessica Simpson, I don't think you want to snuggle up with the Cowboys' QB.
4. Mark Sanchez Poster - What's that? Not starting at quarterback anymore? Perhaps they can put this Sanchez poster right next to their Tim Tebow poster?
5. Oakland Raiders Sunglasses - Because it hurts when people get punched with sunglasses on. Since everyone who is a Raiders fan is a raging douche, it's only a matter of time before they get punched. Better stick with knitting yarn for your favorite Oakland fan friend.