December 8, 2012
What to buy for your stupid friend this Christmas
1. Zombie apocalypse kit in a sardine can - After watching a bunch of zombie movies, I've concluded that the only people that will survive the zombie apocalypse are complete morons. Here's a zombie apocalypse kit in a sardine can. That should help them when they find their one true calling in life... killing zombies.
2. Lost waller and keys finder - Does your friend keep losing his crap everywhere. Do constantly find yourself waiting while he stumbles around trying to figure out where he dropped his wallet after he downed four rum and cokes? Fear not, this will shorten the search.
3. Carbon Monoxide Test Kit - Your friend always talks about how he likes to leave the car running in the garage or that his muffler seems a bit louder than normal. We all know what happens next, maybe kindly hint that he shouldn't be sitting in his own exhaust fumes with this number.
4. Hangover Cure - Coming into work with a bad hangover can really hurt productivity. So instead of just picking up the extra work for your friend, get them this wonderful cure. It's the everyday man's Christmas present. If they everyday man drinks everyday...
5. Velcro Shoes - Because tying knots takes a lot of brain power...