That Spring Guy

For some reason, the sun tends to drive some guys to act erratically and basically be "that guy." You'll see quite a few of them rolling around in their jeeps or convertable Jettas, soaking in the warm weather and publicly showing off their douchebaggery.

Here's a couple of examples for "that guy" in the spring so you can avoid them or avoid being them.

The Shirtless "That Guy"

It's fine if you're mildly in shape and it's at the beach but when Jumbo starts bearing it all at the local convenience store... come on. There's a reason restaurants require shirts and shoes for service, they don't want you to gross out the customers.

Value Village people, two dollars for a freakin' shirt.

The Tribal Armband Tattoo "That Guy"

Not only do you have the tribal armband tattoo, an ink job that has been done roughly 300 million times in the United States after 1986, but you insist on showing it off to anyone. Nevermind your arm width would rival that of a willow twig and the size of the tattoo would make a CareBear smirk (What's that an eighth of an inch wide?).

Even the little old ladies at the coffee shop think you're a complete wreck job. Go get a tan or something.

The Goth "That Guy"

While the shirt guy is annoying, you're just a rebel against society. You're wearing a black trench coat when it's 90 degrees out. Wow. You would think somewhere in the United States, a genius would be hoping to jump on the whole goth summer wear industry. However, no one has taken the bait and you're forced to sweat off roughly 15 pounds every time you walk to campus.

Problem is you smell like a locker room after the Stanley Cup Finals.

That Wanna Play Some Ball "That Guy"

Many students are very active in the realm of sports, but you insist on playing roughly three pickup games a day. Sometimes you're the same as the shirtless "that guy" and hope that your sheen of sweat fends off any potential defenders.

It's fun to play basketball just not at six in morning "to get some hoops in before it gets hot out, broseph."

And what happen to that job you had?

The Ultimate Frisbee "That Guy"

You can't even say "If coach would have put me in during the 2002 Ultimate Frisbee playoffs we'd be state champions right now."

Because Ultimate Frisbee isn't a sport.

Go hang out with the guys that dress up and re-enact the medieval times.

The Bike "That Guy"

It's cool that you want to get in shape, but do you really have to speed through the campus mall at roughly 80 m.p.h. clipping unsuspecting red-headed journalists? Go get a scooter or something.

The Sunburn "That Guy"

Did you miss a spot with your sunscreen. Why is their a gigantic blob of red on the back of your neck. Is that your idea of a tan? If you have skin that makes Nicole Kidman look tanned, do yourself a favor and stay out of the sun.

People can't stand watching other people get cancer.

So please steer clear of these people and have an enjoyable Summer. Otherwise you might end up on Curtis' Douchebaggery on Display blog.